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Betting on WWE is likely a terrible idea. You're wagering real money on a pre-determined "sport" and the whims of this very-stable-and-in-no-way-unhinged guy:
HOWEVER: that doesn't mean there isn't profit to be made. Getting inside the head of Mr. McMahon can lead to riches beyond your wildest dreams... or at least enough to pay for a few months of WWE Network. Your favorite offshore sportsbook isn't likely to take a super large bet on 'rasslin, and there's usually around a $500 cap on any wager placed.
But what's more exciting than a kickout at two-and-three-quarters when you've got money on it? So get in touch with your inner degenerate and check the odds for Money In The Bank!
All odds are from 5Dimes.eu (sign up for an account here!), and are as of 7 p.m. on Thursday:
* No idea what these numbers mean? Check the footnote at the bottom.
United States Championship:
Rusev -650
Titus O'Neil +420
It's a big price to lay, but... there's ZERO chance Vince puts a rocket up this guy's ass, right?
This is the same CEO that had his future son-in-law basically drawn and quartered for the MSG Incident. He's not one to take "slights" like this lightly. Lay the wood, hold your breath, and take the free money on offer here.
The Pick: 100 Shane-O-Mac's on Rusev. We only make a bit over 15 Mac's on this bet, but it seems there's about a zero percent chance we don't cash. It would totally suck to lose this to start the night, but it'll give us some working capital for later.
Fatal Four-Way Tag Team Championship Match:
The New Day: -240
The Club: +260
Enzo & Cass +760
The Vaudevillains +4500
These lines are moving, as yesterday you could have had Booty O's for the low, low price of -160! Getting value when it's available is a big part of betting, and you might have missed the window on this match already. But The Club was just +200 24 hours ago, and if I had a nickel to bet on a Certified G And A Bona Fide Stud, I'd of only won six nickels yesterday, whereas today it's more than seven.
Here's the thing: There's no way AJ AND The Club lose, right? So let's put a little feeler on the former Bullet'ers, and go bombs away on The Phenomenal One. One of them should bink for sure as there's no way both of them get buried.
The Pick: 10 Shane O'Mac's on The Club, and 2 Shane O'Mac's on Enzo & Cass. This is basically a hedge on our forthcoming AJ Styles bet, with some added insurance on Jersey's Finest just in case.
Cena vs. Styles:
John Cena +150
AJ Styles -190
About as close as you'll get to an even line in WWE wagering. #LOLCENAWINS is a very moderate underdog, but I mean how many times can he go over the new guy??
Just playin!! But with our Bullet Club strategy that Karl/Luke and AJ both MIGHT win, but both CAN'T lose, let's hedge appropriately.
The Pick: 30 Shane O'Mac's on AJ Styles. We make a small profit if either AJ or The Club wins, and roll around in hookers and blow if they both stand tall.
MITB Match:
Kevin Owens -160
Dean Ambrose +225
Chris Jericho +700
Cesaro +1200
Sami Zayn +3000
Alberto Del Rio +3000
The books think the Headlock Master is a near-lock to win, as you have to bet $160 to win $100 on Canada's finest export since Baywatch Pamela Anderson. But if you think someone else gets to the top of the ladder first there's plenty of cash on offer.
The 37th Y2J Resurrection Tour could be complete if he wins the match he invented (not a bad idea with a brand split forthcoming), and that price of 7/1 is almost as juicy as his man-boobs. He's probably not going to win, but there's still likely value here.
VKM could also make the smarks pop enough to blow the roof off the brand new T-Mobile Center by giving it to the King of Swing, and at 12/1 you'd get PAID if you take this.
The pick: 3 Shane-O-Mac's on Jericho, and 2 Shane-O-Mac's on Cesaro. We're probably losing both these, but cash a nice payday if we're right.
World Heavyweight Championship:
Roman Reigns -350
Seth Rollins +250
Wow, this number seems just about perfect. He's not a bad guy, he's not a good guy, but he's also probably a bad bet in this spot. Sure he likely retains as VKM's Golden Child, but maybe the boss just gives up on his insane push now that the heel everyone loves to theoretically hate is back.
The pick: Mark out and enjoy the match. You don't have to bet on everything you inveterate loser. What the hell is wrong with you??
Again a reminder: you're about to wager real money on a non-competitive competition. You probably have a gambling problem.
Isn't it fun?
* Prices are expressed as how much you would win if you bet $100 on the outcome happening. Example: if you bet $100 on ECU which is listed as +900, you would win $900 plus get your original $100 back for a total of $1000 in your account. You could also express this as 9-1 odds; 9-1 is the same thing as +900.