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'American Grit' recap: Let's knife fight, I guess

Will Maria go home this week? Let's find out!

Last week, a non-Tee team finally lost a member. Team Nick and Team Noah (and their infinite playlists) are still at full strength, so let's see if Tony and Ivette on Team Tee can survive another week. At least Cam is safe this time!

This week once again opens up post-circus as everyone returns home. Maria stops everyone before they go inside and asks if they want to tell Team Noah about what happened at the circus. Everyone else is like, "What? No. Of course not." So they all do a hands-in "ONE TWO THREE, SHHHHH." Nice.


Team Noah is miffed that they still don't know what's going on at the circus. Well just keep winning and don't worry about it then, sheesh.

The next morning, it's time for the latest evolution, which is called Charlie Foxtrot. The teams have to send members to observation posts, memorize symbols and return to the others to select the symbols and put them up on the puzzle boards. There are obstacles in between the posts to rattle their memories and concentrations.

Nick says concentration is an important trait to a sniper, so the pressure is on his team, because he's a sniper. But none of his team members are snipers. Wait ... does he think his team members are snipers by osmosis? Nick is so odd.

Kjoy says today is the day that Team Noah finally doesn't win. The teams are off and the symbols are like a train, a tank, a plane. But some of the symbols on the puzzle board are similar, so Ivette takes the time to count wheels and stuff. Team Nick, likewise, makes sure to really scrutinize the symbols. This irritates Maria, because everything irritates Maria.

Team Noah is right behind Team Nick, so Team Nick purposefully slows down on the obstacle to gum up the works. Nice. That's some gamesmanship. Team Noah blows right past them, however. lol

Team Tee is right behind Team Noah, then Team RORKE DENVER, with Team Nick in last place. Team Tee then takes the lead and Team Noah is second. Oh, but Team Noah comes from behind at the last moment and wins AGAIN. Haaaaaa peace out, every other team.

Maria says this is ridiculous and Jim says they might have to step up the mind games at base camp. Yeah, step those up, dude. The mind games will definitely make everyone else start winning these evolutions.

Team Tee knows that Ivette is definitely going to the circus, because Tony went last week. That means Nick and RORKE DENVER have to decide who they send this week. Back at the house, Team Noah gets some time in a hot tub while everyone else tries to brainstorm how to start playing dirty. Again, this is probably useless, because I don't think anything other than doing better on evolutions is going to help. RORKE DENVER'S triathlete agrees with me.

Maria is miffed that Jim is insistent they start playing mind games, but he doesn't actually have a specific plan or any suggestions. She has a point! Maria is the voice of reason. What is happening?

The next morning, John Cena meets with them all and says he was made aware of something and wants to know if anyone wants to speak up. No one knows what he's talking about, so he comes right out and says it: it's Nick's birthday! Everyone sings "happy birthday, dear Reaper," which isn't weird at all.

Nick takes his team out in ghillie suits. Just for fun, I guess. Just hiding in ghillie suits in the snow for fun. Nick says when he was a kid, he couldn't wait to get home from school so he could go hide in his ghillie suit, so this brings back a lot of good memories. NICK DIAL DOWN THE BONKERS PLEASE I'M BEGGING YOU.

Meanwhile, RORKE DENVER teaches his team members how to knife fight. I'm sure this will come in handy if the endurance challenge in the circus is A KNIFE FIGHT. WHAT IS HAPPENING ON THIS FRIGGING SHOW

At the circus, Nick decides to send Maria, which shocks her, just shocks her. Nick says once she deals with the circus, she'll be a better teammate. Maria says she works better as an individual, she's not a team player.

cena reaction


RORKE DENVER sends Haze to her second circus because he's playing the matchups. Back at the house, Maria complains that Cam and Jim were being negative. She says she's never had to live with negative energy before. OH MY GOD PLEASE LOSE THE CIRCUS. She says when she complains, the people close to her are supposed to ask why she's upset. LOSE LOSE LOSE LOSE LOSE LOSE.

We get some reminders that Cam and Haze have a thing going on, which is hilarious that Cam would rather Haze come back from the circus than his teammate. Which, I mean, understandable. Maria tells Cam that his girlfriend is going home today. Sure she is, Maria.

Cena goes for his customary walk in the woods with the three circus participants. Cena tells Haze he knows about her and Cam and he wonders if she can separate the competition and her emotions. He says she has the advantage, because she's the only one of the three who has seen the circus before. Haze makes John Cena cry talking about her dad.

Cena asks about Maria's comments about not being a team player. She says she said that to motivate her teammates. Okay. Cool. Nice. Whatever. Her interaction with Cena was the shortest one ever. Even John Cena doesn't want to spend too much time with her.

Ivette says she wants to prove that just because she loves horses doesn't mean she's not tough. HELL YEAH HORSES RULE.

It's finally circus time! The endurance test this week is called "tree hugger." They have to stay on a pole, moving up and down at intervals, but have to keep their arms wrapped around a specific part of the pole at all times.

Haze blows past everyone, then Ivette follows behind her. Maria has a lot of trouble on the giant ladder. Ivette and Haze wind up on the final next at the same time and Ivette attempts to roll right over Haze to reach the platform first. And she does so! That was wild!

Maria starts the endurance test. Five minutes later, Haze starts. Ivette joins in at the 10-minute mark. Cam stops cheering for Maria. "She's a better individual player, she said." Ha!

They move down to the next colored band and Ivette seems to be having some problems, getting shaky. Soon, they've been on the poles for 30 minutes. Ivette is having a dickens of a time. 40 minutes in, they have to move back up to the top. Maria falls climbing, so she has to ring out. Ivette survived by the skin of her dang teeth there.

And so the saga of Maria being the worst comes to an end.


Bye, Maria! Maybe we'll start hating Jim now! Oh wait, maybe not, because Jim says, "Let's just forget Maria was ever here and move on." Love you, Jim!

Maria says the people out there watching will understand and know how she felt this entire time. Oh, we know.

Next week, everyone but Team Noah is down a member, and Goldie is slamming doors to keep from slamming her fist into somebody's face. Nice! Let's do this!

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