clock menu more-arrow no yes mobile

Filed under:

'American Grit' recap: Tee totaled

Team Tee is down to just two people. That might spell doom.

Last week, Brooke passed out and Team Tee lost their second straight circus, meaning they're down to just two people, while every other team is at full strength. Team Noah has still never gone to the circus. Meanwhile, both Maria and Kjoi on Team Nick are working through injuries.

Basically, it's still Team Noah's competition to lose. This week will be all about watching the two-person Team Tee struggle through everything.

The teams meet up at the barracks the night after last week's circus and talk about how wild it is that Brooke went home. Then the two surviving members of Team Tee retire to their room and talk about how they have to suck it up and get through this. We finally meet the fourth person on Team tee, Ivette, a 35-year-old equestrian. Oh, that will probably come in handy if she's able to SUMMON A HORSE for one of these evolutions. She should probably do that. EXPECTO HORSE.

She also does modeling, apparently. She's a little bit of a tomboy and a little bit of a diva. She should open a shop on Pro Wrestling Tees.

At the next morning's evolution, John Cena lets everyone know that Brooke is fine and is walking with her head high. YEAH BECAUSE SHE WAS NEVER ACTUALLY ELIMINATED. BROOKE FOREVER.

Today's evolution is called "moving camp." They have to break down their entire camp, including the base of their tent, which is a puzzle. They have to put everything into giant cases, transport the cases across a river and stuff, build a wheelbarrow, then reassemble their camp. Next week: BRAIN SURGERY.

Look how cute this big dude looks in his life vest.

life vest

Maria has a new brilliant idea!


Then Kjoi said to do numbers, but they were like, "nah." Maria does numbers anyway. Team Tee is moving quickly and efficiently. Probably because there are only two of them. They are the first to get everything in their cases and head to the water.

One of Team Noah's cases breaks but they fix it quickly. This reminds Noah of the time he woke up in the hospital missing two of his limbs. Guys. Your analogies are way too over the top.

Tony is established as a bad swimmer, so as soon as he hits the water, things start going badly for Team Tee. Ivette, meanwhile, isn't dealing with the cold water well, since she's from California. She starts screaming at Tony to kick harder. Literally, just screaming, "TONYYYYY!" I'm sure that helped. Tony and Ivette hit the other side of the water first and have to start making their wheelbarrow.

Now we finally meet that adorable life vest man. He's Marc, AKA "THE MACHINE," a 34-year-old bodybuilder. He was a fat kid growing up, but now he's this guy.

marc 1


All the other teams start building their wheelbarrow, which surprisingly doesn't remind Nick of the time a drone killed everyone he's ever known and loved. The lumberjack on Team Noah has been a boy scout his whole life, so he's comfortable with knots.

Team Tee is the first to go, but Ivette's wheelbarrow falls apart immediately, so Team Noah takes the lead. Again. They get to the second camp first and start setting up. Team Nick then overtakes Team Tee. Team RORKE DENVER is in dead last, still working on their wheelbarrows.

Cam is like, "Hey, Maria, you numbered these pieces, start working on them." She swaggers over like, "Okay dude, you're annoying me." WORST PERSON.

Team Noah has everything set up except one last puzzle. Meanwhile, Team Tee is just needing to get their last tent assembled. It's neck and neck! Whoops Team Noah wins again. lol

Everyone heads back to the cabin to talk about how bad they all suck. THE MACHINE is excited about the circus and isn't afraid of it and makes fun of Ivette for being nervous. Ivette talks about how tough she is because she's broken bones and gotten bit by horses and lost her father. THE MACHINE is like MY FATHER'S DEAD TOO WELCOME TO THE CLUB HOMIE. This guy sucks, too. Ivette leaves in tears. Tony tells THE MACHINE that a little compassion goes a long way.

Meanwhile, Cam and Haze are GETTIN FRIENDLY

cam and haze

[Married ... With Children audience hooting]

Team Noah get a picnic and a hike while John Cena talks to the rest of the house. The lumberjack says it's cool to get out of the house for a little bit. Dude, you're out of the house like all the time. John Cena tells the other teams it's time to step their game up. Yeah, dude, we know.

Team Noah arrives at their picnic, which is by a waterfall. Noah asks who knows how to make sandwiches. Uh, hopefully every adult ever. Team Noah tells another inspirational/terrifying war story. The lumberjack tells him he has beautiful eyes.

Back at the house, RORKE DENVER teaches everyone how to tie knots, because it'll probably come in handy later. Maybe he should have done that the first week. He thinks they're all weaklings right now. Harsh, Rorke.

Tee takes her team out into the snow and gives them each a picture of a loved one and says they need to keep in mind what they're fighting for.

Meanwhile, Maria is pushing for Cam to go to the circus. You know, because she's the worst person. Nick doesn't seem like he wants to send his best player to possible elimination just yet. But let's find out who's going to the circus!

There's lots of snow on the obstacle course for this one. Should be interesting. RORKE DENVER sends THE MACHINE to the circus. He guarantees to give it 120 percent, which is impossible. Nick sends Cam. NOOOOO NICK DON'T DO IT. Maria seems comfortable with this.


Cam says he has a lot to prove, so he's going from dud to stud. He's also going to prove he's 2 Cam 2 give a damn. This guy's getting a WWE developmental contract after this, guaranteed.

Tee is sending Tony, because she says it's what's best for the team. Okay, so everyone's strongest players could go home this week. Great job, guys. Good decisions. Congratulations to Team Noah on winning the entire season without losing a single team member.

Back at the cabin, Ivette is scared that Tony is going home. Tony gets a good luck charm from the single mom that he helped with the rappelling exercise in the first week. Jim gives Cam a pep talk and says he's going to impress John Cena, which is really all that Cam wants. THE MACHINE reads letters from his kids to pump himself up.

Cena meets with the circus participants, as is customary. Cena asks why Cam got into wrestling. Cam says it all started when his dad took him to a taping of RAW and Cena vs. Edge was the main event. John Cena is suddenly aware of his own mortality.

cena smh

Cena tells Cam not to go home today. He says Cam has the least to lose, but that doesn't mean he has the least to fight for. Tony takes inspiration from his mother, which Cena says will help him.

Today's endurance test is called Post Up. They will have to stand on a post and every 15 minutes, they will have to step up to a taller, more narrow post. First one to fall will ring out. Again, reaching the platform last will result in a disadvantage.

Cam and Tony are neck and neck through the first few obstacles, but Tony takes the lead as Cam starts looking like he has some balance problems. Uh-oh. THE MACHINE is way behind. Tony hits the platform first and gets a 10-minute advantage in the endurance challenge. Cam is second and gets a five-minute advantage.

THE MACHINE finally arrives and he is totally gassed as he has to start the challenge. The first peg is totally wide, though, so THE MACHINE should be fine for now. After 10 minutes, all three men are on their pegs. Five minutes later, they all step up. THE MACHINE is shaking and Tony is wobbling.

Cena believes the cold will be the deciding factor, but he third peg is only wide enough to use one foot. All three men immediately start windmilling their arms and Cam is teetering RIGHT ON THE EDGE, but THE MACHINE falls off first and has to ring out.

Well, at least Tony and Cam are still around! They're probably my two favorites so far! Team Tee isn't the only team down people now.

Next week, all the teams will unite to make sure Team Noah doesn't win and Team Nick will be at odds with Maria. Looking forward to that.

Sign up for the newsletter Sign up for the Cageside Seats Daily Roundup newsletter!

A daily roundup of all your pro wrestling news from Cageside Seats