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It's just like the Royal Rumble, but the everybody starts in the ring at the same time. And instead of a WrestleMania title shot, you get a trophy that someone will break on Monday night!
It's kind of like Lucha Underground's Aztec Warfare, except instead of being the place where dozens of narratives intertwine and grow, we get sexual tension between R-Truth and Goldust and suspense about what Kane's problem is!
It's the Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal!
(or AtGMBR)
This year's version, the third annual, graduates back to the main show after spending WrestleMania 31 (and part of the build to 32) on the pre-show.
Reports say the match will feature 20 guys, but that's what they said last year, and we ended up with 30. In support of the 20 man theory for 2016, however, there's the fact that a lot of guys are injured (or are they? We'll get back to that in a second) and the seven dudes in the Intercontinental ladder match.
As of this writing, confirmed for the Andre are:
Heath Slater
Curtis Axel
Adam Rose
Bo Dallas
Big Show
Kane
Tyler Breeze
Mark Henry
Jack Swagger
Fandango
Damien Sandow
Darren Young
Konnor
Viktor
Goldust
R-Truth
From that list, I'd say there are five guys with a realistic opportunity to win Sunday night. Here's why:
Show: Winning the AtGMBR back-to-back would give them something to push when calling the greatest Giant since the big Frenchman. Plus, it could be used in a feud with Kane (I know, I know...).
Kane: Has the angle going with Show, and/or prep for his annual Summer program with a new WWE champ (I know, I know...).
Henry: The Texan has spoken often of the possibility of this being his last Mania, and this is the best opportunity he or his employers are gonna get to give the World's Strongest Man a big sendoff moment.
Either "member" of Golden Truth: They've invested so much (SO MUCH) time in their story, it's gotta lead somewhere. There are several ways they could band together in the confines of a match like this - or one of them could dump the other to kick off a feud between them.
Of the other four-to-fourteen wrestlers who'll be added between now and go time, most will be more fodder for the big men to use in impressive eliminations. But there are a couple tantalizing possibilites coming from Birmingham, Alabama...
Cesaro: Spotted in Texas sans sling, the King of Swing won the first Andre, so there's a narrative throughline if they want to tease us with another push before settling him back into the mid-card.
John Cena: He and his docs declared he's ready to go. It's more likely he ends up in a bigger angle at AT& T Stadium, but it's not completely out of the question to think he might want to add the AtGMBR to the U.S. title on the list of things he elevated in the third act of his in-ring career.
And then there's a quartet trio of men without assigned roles on the card...
The Wyatts: Vince has reportedly soured on Braun Strowman, and if anyone can tell me (or Bray) what they're doing with the Eater of Worlds, we'd all like to know. But whether or not they appear again later (please no), either Wyatt himself or his babyfaced friend could emerge victorious here. Sorry, vinter...
Who do you think will hoist the trophy (and then probably have it broken over his back, or use it to crack someone else across the back)?
Tune in on Sunday, April 3 to find out - and stick with us here at cSs to talk about it with the best dang pro wrestling community on the interwebs!