WWE Monday Night Raw comes waltzing back into our lives tonight (Jan. 11, 2016) from the Smoothie King Center in New Orleans, Louisiana, featuring all the latest build to the upcoming Royal Rumble pay-per-view (PPV) later this month in Orlando, Florida.
Advertised for tonight: Brock Lesnar is back!
Come right back here at 8 p.m. ET when the Raw live blog kicks off once the show starts on USA. It will be below this line here. (REMINDER: NO GIFS OR PICS ARE ALLOWED IN THE COMMENTS SECTION. OFFENDERS WILL BE BANNED.)
WWE RAW RESULTS AND LIVE BLOG FOR JAN. 11
Chris here. Let's do this...
WWE Signature and a recap of last week's Raw main event angle (Roman Reigns defending his WWE World Heavyweight Championship against Sheamus with Vince McMahon as a guest referee)
We go to New Orleans where a bunch of Superstars are on stage. Vince and Stephanie McMahon then strut on out.
They declare now to be happy days, but the crowd doesn't think so.
Vince tells us to take a look at the new WWE World Heavyweight Champion...one of those Superstars on the stage. All it takes is tossing him over the top rope. Any one man on that stage could make history on that night, whether it be Dolph Ziggler, Kevin Owens, or The New Day for that matter.
Cue Wyatt Interruption, and The Wyatt Family appears in front of and on the announce table.
"It's like I always said: anyone but you, Roman."
The McMahons go on a bit until Reigns decides to interrupt himself.
The McMahons troll him a bit until Steph asks if Reigns is here to beat up Vince again...the crowd likes this.
Reigns isn't here to beat up Vince. Instead, he has a question: "what happens if I win?"
Steph's response? Laughing maniacally at Reigns' question.
Vince has himself an idea: a "One vs All match". Simple: Roman Reigns vs a bunch of random people.
Could Reigns face his brother, Dean Ambrose? Nope...because Ambrose has a match right now against Sheamus, who knocks him down because the mohawk said so.
Dean Ambrose vs Sheamus
This one happened. Dean and Sheamus got bored of trying to have a wrestling match, so they decided to tussle outside, leading to a double count-out.
Dean Ambrose and Sheamus fight to a double count-out
Afterward, Sheamus and Ambrose keep brawling until Sheamus is thrown into the steps head-first, leading to a bloody mess. As Sheamus bleeds, Kevin Owens comes out to blindside Ambrose and assaults him until five referees separate the two.
Renee Young stands outside the trainer's room wanting a word with Dean Ambrose. A pissed-off Dean Ambrose comes out and tells Renee that he is fine, and he's ready to eviscerate Kevin Owens.
Vince and Stephanie McMahon are strolling backstage when they run into Paul Heyman, who discuss Brock Lesnar appearing in either tonight's "One vs All match" or the Royal Rumble. Heyman eventually brings up Lesnar being a prizefighter and headlining WrestleMania with the WWE WHC. Vince doesn't like the idea and starts arguing with Heyman a bit until Steph ushers them into Vince's office.
Ziggy Stardust vs Titus O'Neil
Stardust is rocking a great tribute to the late, great David Bowie...that was mind-blowing to type.
This happened. Titus wins with Clash of the Titus.
Titus O'Neil def Stardust
As Titus celebrates, Stardust throws him into the barricade a couple times as someone screams for their life.
Chris Jericho comes out for The Highlight Reel. He does his usual "Raw is Jericho" spiel before claiming that the world is buzzing about his return to WWE.
Jericho says more stuff before vowing to win the Royal Rumble and to become a seven-time champion .
The New Day interrupts and says that they are here to save The Highlight Reel from itself. Big E is tired of Jericho talking that flim-flam and booty chatter. Jericho responds with rooty-tooty-booty. The New Day dislikes this and counters by reminding us that they are the WWE Tag Team Champions and the real Tag Team of the Year.
The New Day starts shaming Jericho until The Usos come out to join this party by saying "whoa" a bunch of times. They make a lame Golden Globes joke before a debate starts between the two teams. Jericho calls Xavier Woods a dumbass and proposes a match: The Usos vs Big E and Kofi Kingston with Jericho and Woods in their respective corners.
The Usos vs Big E and Kofi Kingston
This match was very long and boring. New Day loses after Jericho sacrifices Xavier Woods' trombone, sending Woods into a state of catatonia. An Uso rolls up a distracted Kofi Kingston to win.
The Usos def Big E and Kofi Kingston
Backstage, Paul Heyman tries to sell Brock Lesnar as a WrestleMania main event while Stephanie McMahon tries to convince Heyman to enter Lesnar into the 2016 Royal Rumble. Heyman tells Steph that Lesnar says "no" to the Rumble idea. Steph, on the other hand, tells Heyman to tell Lesnar that Vince McMahon says that Lesnar is going to be in the Royal Rumble.
JBL presents the first inductee to the WWE Hall of Fame Class of 2016: Sting.
The Wyatt Family vs Social Outcasts
Before he match, Heath Slater tells us to grab the penicillin, Adam Rose makes fun of The Wyatt Family, Curtis Axel says words, and Bo Dallas says that they are the Four Musketeers, and they're here for a fight.
The Wyatts dominated this one until Ryback came out to the ring to beat up The Wyatts. Ryback overcomes and eliminates the Wyatts.
No contest....I guess?
Renee Young interviews Kalisto about his upcoming United States Championship match. Kalisto says that the US Title means the world to him, and that it symbolizes opportunity, and he's going to seize it tonight.
Kalisto vs Alberto Del Rio (United States Championship)
Before, Del Rio cuts a promo saying that John Cena isn't here because of him. You see, Del Rio broke Cena, so he won't be at WrestleMania. Tonight, Del Rio plans to break Kalisto, who is compared to a mosquito.
This was a very long match that started off slowly but really started to get awesome, especially when Del Rio started to embrace a vicious side that we have definitely missed. Also, the match was pretty even until the end when Kalisto reversed a German suplex attempt into a victory roll to shock everyone and win.
Kalisto def Alberto Del Rio; wins the United States Championship
Jojo interviews Charlotte and Ric Flair about her actions last week. Charlotte tells Jojo that she beat Becky "Flair and square", so why is she the bad one? Charlotte also says that she will do anything to defend her championship and won't let her old friend, Becky Lynch, dictate her life.
This was a damn good promo - it's like Charlotte flipped a switch when she turned heel.
Brie Bella vs Charlotte
Thankfully this one doesn't start. Instead, something much better happens: Becky Lynch comes out and beats the hell out of Charlotte. After Becky's done, she leaves but not before proclaiming that "I'm taking your championship, and I'm taking your arm." Glorious.
And to make things better, Ric Flair proclaims that Charlotte isn't in any condition to compete tonight, and it's all Becky's fault.
Jojo catches up to Becky Lynch. Becky spits out some absolute fire by talking about how Charlotte betrayed her and started to use her father to further her career, something Charlotte swore that she would never do. Becky says that she's better off on her own, and proved that she was the better woman when she made Becky tap out on SmackDown, and she's going to do exactly the same when she takes the Divas Title.
Becky Lynch is fire personified. This promo was insane.
Roman Reigns vs Everyone Not Named Roman Reigns (One vs All)
Reigns' opponents include The Wyatt Family, The New Day, The Ascension, Tyler Breeze, Stardust, Alberto Del Rio, Sheamus, and Kevin Owens. Basically this is a slobberknocker match.
The only match we got out of this was Reigns vs Kevin Owens, and it was nowhere near as good as it should have been with it being a very slow match. Eventually it ends when everyone else attacks Reigns, leading to a no contest.
As everyone beats up Reigns, Big Daddy Brock Lesnar comes out to feed. He destroys pretty much everyone before pulling Reigns' corpse to the center of the ring. Lesnar smiles before picking Reigns up for the F5.
Lesnar and Heyman leave to end the show.