It's undoubtedly going to be a slow Saturday night, so instead of sitting around and twiddling our thumbs how about we make use of that certain over-the-top service so many of us pay $9.99 a month for and go retro with a live blog?
Our latest retro live blog will cover St. Valentine's Day Massacre 1999, which took place on Sun., Feb. 14, 1999, at the Pyramid in Memphis, Tennessee and featured Vince McMahon, who won the Royal Rumble the month before, taking on Stone Cold Steve Austin, the man he last eliminated, in a steel cage match. If Austin won, he would go on to WrestleMania 15 to challenge for the WWF championship.
We'll treat this live blog like we would any show airing live. It will kick off at 8 p.m. ET tonight, so if you want to follow along and chat with your fellow fans and friends here on the site, make sure you click "play" on the WWE Network at 8 p.m. ET and come back here for all the fun.
Coverage will roll below.
ST. VALENTINE'S DAY MASSACRE 1999 LIVE BLOG
Geno here. Let us do this.
The opening video package was a Valentine's Day song played over the feud between Steve Austin and Vince McMahon, with a few other programs mixed in.
Pyro and ballyhoo!
A much younger version of Michael Cole -- with a far more annoying voice -- was on the call with Jerry Lawler.
Goldust vs. Bluedust
Bluedust was The Blue Meanie dressed up like a blue version of Goldust. He even came out to Goldust's music. As soon as it hit, keep in mind all of four seconds after it had just played, Lawler said "that sounds familiar, doesn't it?"
This match was ... it was awful.
Goldust kicked his ass early, then Bluedust took control and started humping his opponent's leg. Goldust regained control and gave Bluedust a wedgie, smacking his ass a bit for good measure.
Bluedust missed a moonsault so Goldust hit his finish and got the pin in a short, painful match.
Goldust def. Bluedust
The crowd was hot for Shattered Dreams, so Goldust played it up and delivered before they moved on.
They showed a clip from Sunday Night Heat earlier in the evening. McMahon spit on Austin trying to get the Rattlesnake to hit him. This due to the fact that a stipulation existed that if Austin put his hands on McMahon he would be fired.
Austin held back, promising to injure the boss in their steel cage match later.
Al Snow vs. Bob Holly
This was a hardcore championship match. It took all of 15 seconds before Snow was hitting Holly with an unprotected chair shot to the head. Because falls counted anywhere, they brawled out into the crowd fairly quickly.
The gimmicks were also used liberally. This includes both guys spraying each other in the face with a fire extinguisher. They made their way backstage, beating on each other with pay phones and trash cans and floor tiles.
A referee was running around with them for all this because, you'll remember, falls count anywhere in hardcore matches. If you didn't remember, Cole was reminding you every 16 seconds or so.
They ended up outside, fighting in the streets of Memphis, hitting each other with road signs. Holly sent Snow through a chain link fence. Lawler made note of the fact that the Mississippi River was nearby while Cole told us it was just 30 degrees and Holly was walking around with his shirt off.
Finally, they were beating each other with wood pieces and wheelbarrows. Because The Pyramid bordered such a monster body of water like the Mississippi, you knew they were going to use it in this match. They teased it a couple times to build to the moment and finally Snow threw Holly in before diving in after him.
There just so happened to be a gigantic tire sitting close to shore for a few headbutts. There were a lot of weapons all around, actually.
Snow made his way up the river bank only for Holly to drill him across the back with a stick that broke and hit the camera we were watching all this from. They went back-and-forth some more, with Snow using repeated kidney shots while Holly just kicked him in the guts until he could wrap Snow up some fencing. That left Snow unable to kick out from a pin attempt, giving Holly the title.
Bob Holly def. Al Snow
Holly and the referee went hauling ass back to the ring to retrieve the title and celebrate in front of fans who missed all of this. Meanwhile, Snow was yelling for someone to get him out of the fence.
We were shown a pre-tape from the locker room earlier today with Undertaker giving a speech to the Ministry of Darkness. 'Taker said they would start to massacre people. "The power from beyond has spoken to me. Our fate and our purpose begins tonight."
Whatever the hell that means.
Mideon vs. Big Boss Man
They were pushing that this was The Corporation vs. The Ministry, with Boss Man representing The Corporation as its personal security detail.
They were only a couple minutes into this match before a "BOR-ING" chant broke out. The crowd wasn't wrong. A whole lot of kick-punch-kick-punch-punch-punch offense with the occasional headbutt or body slam. At one point Boss Man took a back body drop.
The finish came out of nowhere with Boss Man hitting a sidewalk slam for the pin.
Big Boss Man def. Mideon
After, the Ministry rushed the ring to surround it while Boss Man stood with his nightstick eager to take them on. Then the lights cut out and the crowd popped huge for Undertaker, who "has changed drastically in recent weeks" according to Michael Cole.
As Undertaker was making his slow walk to the ring, the Ministry was beating on Boss Man. Viscera hit three splashes on Boss Man before the Ministry carried him out and they all left.
Mark Henry and D-Lo Brown were backstage for an interview with Kevin Kelly.
Kelly brought up Ivory and Brown said that she will counteract Jeff Jarrett and Owen Hart's secret weapon, Debra. If Debra tries to interfere in the match tonight, Ivory will rip all the clothes off her back.
D-Lo Brown & Mark Henry vs. Jeff Jarrett & Owen Hart
This match was for the tag team championship titles.
Before it got started, Henry, who was going by "Sexual Chocolate," gave Ivory flowers and chocolate for Valentine's Day.
Because Ivory mentioned tearing Debra's clothes off if she interfered, Lawler made sure to say he hopes that's exactly what happens. Cole decided to run with this and say "I'm going to put you on the spot: Who do you like better?"
WWF in 1999, folks.
They teased Debra interfering early and it should come as little surprise that this was all the fans seemed to care about in this match. Jarrett and Hart isolated D-Lo and spent a great deal of time tagging in and out and wearing him down. Finally, Brown got the hot tag to Henry and it wasn't long before the match broke down and everyone was in the ring at once.
When D-Lo went for the Lo Down, Debra teased him with her cleavage. This brought Ivory over to argue, which gave Owen the chance to hit Henry with a guitar shot to the legs. Jarrett then locked in the Figure Four and Henry tapped immediately.
Hart & Jarrett def. Brown & Henry
True to her word, Ivory started ripping Debra's clothes off. She only got as far as ripping the back of Debra's top, meaning nothing was shown and the live crowd booed this. Meanwhile, Jarrett and Hart covered her chest with the tag team titles.
Kevin Kelly interviewed Mankind.
They ran footage of The Rock working over Mankind's injured knee on Sunday Night Heat. Mankind gave Rock kudos for attempting to hurt him, but he said it wouldn't work and he had a game plan for later tonight.
His plan was to get himself into an even more twisted state than usual, which will make him a really dangerous person.
Val Venis vs. Ken Shamrock
They ran a video package pre-match to get us up to date on the issues between the two. Essentially, Venis was getting with Shamrock's sister and Ken wanted to kill him for it.
Billy Gunn was the special guest referee for this, a match for the Intercontinental championship and Ken Shamrock's sister's honor (or something like that).
"Kenny ... Val ... if you're not down with this ref, I've got two words for ya!"
Venis came out with Ryan on his arm, Ryan being the sister in question here. She seemed happy. Cole said Venis must have a "set of big ones" for bringing Ryan out to ring side for this match. What the hell, Cole? What the hell?
Cole then told us someone tried to bribe Gunn to call the match in their favor.
Venis did his pre-match promo, telling all the ladies in attendance that he has a "heart-on" for all of them on this here Valentine's Day.
Shamrock sprinted to the ring to start the match and they got underway with Venis in control. On the first pinfall attempt, Gunn acted like his shoulder was sore after a two count. There was a very vocal laugh from the audience.
Throughout the match, Ken was yelling at Ryan about finishing Venis and commentary was telling us that he had vowed to start making all her decisions for her. Cole took up for Ryan, saying she's an adult who can make her own decisions. Lawler, naturally, took up for Ken saying Ryan doesn't know who she loves and she needs to listen to her older brother because older brothers always know what's best.
This was easily the longest match of the night up to this point, aided by Gunn taking his sweet time every time Venis went for a pinfall. That rang true for Shamrock as well, with a DDT getting what should have been a three count but Gunn stopping himself before slapping the mat a third time.
Shamrock was upset, allowing Venis to take control. A fisherman's suplex from Venis only got a two count because Gunn again took his time. His refereeing did not discriminate. Shamrock actually hit a hurricanrana, landing on top of Venis and when Gunn started counting Ken stood up.
"You have to stay on top of him for me to count," Gunn told him.
He put the Ankle Lock on shortly after but Ryan Shamrock helped Venis get to the ropes. Ken went out to confront her and Gunn went out after him. This led to Shamrock pushing Gunn and Billy punching him into the ring. Venis went for a pin and Gunn went with a fast count.
Val Venis def. Ken Shamrock
Shamrock ran out and brawled with Gunn in the entrance aisle while Venis celebrated in the ring. When Ken bailed, Gunn ran back to the ring to lay Venis out and crotch chop him to the crowd's delight.
Cole had no idea what the hell was going on.
Gunn just made everyone involved look like a complete idiot here.
Triple H & X-Pac vs. Kane & Chyna
Before the match, Triple H called Chyna a "big jacked up bitch" and told her to come out and get her ass kicked. Then, once Kane and Chyna were in the ring, he took his D-X shirt off, wiped his ass with it, and threw it in Chyna's face.
At this point, Shane McMahon made his way ringside, no sold an introduction from Cole, and sat in on commentary. He was awful all throughout, screaming like a complete idiot and making a lot of stupid sound effects while cheering Kane & Chyna.
Kane did work and when he got an edge, Chyna begged to be tagged in to get in on the action. Once she did, she got a shot or two in before nearly falling prey to a Bronco Buster from X-Pac. Crowd was insane for this spot but they didn't get it.
Kane tagged himself in after that, pissing her off a great deal. She did some damage from the apron while the babyfaces were running the ropes. They made a big deal of it each time she was about to take a bump from one of the men. She managed to get out each time. That included Triple H throwing her from the top rope but Kane catching her and setting her down gently.
While McMahon was cheerleading for Kane to "get X-PUNK," Pac laid him out with a punch.
Big pop, considering how unbelievably annoying Shane was in this match. He came back far too fast saying Pac was going to pay for what he did and resuming his calls for the heels to "GET X-PUNK, GET HIM!"
Chyna used a sleeper on X-Pac and got two falls of the arm before Pac broke the hold with a side slam. Pac then got the tag to Triple H, who popped Chyna with a couple right hands, then sent Kane out of the ring. Pac followed him out there, leaving Triple H and Chyna in the ring alone.
Triple H set up like he was going to go for the Pedigree but Kane dragged him out before that could happen. Chyna then set herself up in the corner and Pac hit the Bronco Buster to a big ovation. Chyna no sold it completely. That's when Shane rushed the ring to attack Pac, but he was run off quickly, with Pac chasing after him.
Triple H then sent Kane into the steel steps and got back in the ring to go after Chyna. He again set up for the Pedigree but Kane came back in to make the save, hitting the Choke Slam and putting Chyna on top of Triple H. The referee ran in and made the three count.
Kane & Chyna def. Triple H & X-Pac
Mankind vs. The Rock
This was a Last Man Standing match for the WWF championship. "There MUST be a winner," Cole told us before the two combatants entered.
Like Bob Holly and Al Snow before them, these two very quickly found themselves brawling out to the stage set up and into the crowd and to the backstage area. Plenty of gimmicks, plenty of nasty bumps, like Mankind putting Rock through a table with a DDT and Rock suplexing Mankind onto the concrete.
Just after, Cole remarked that Rock is "the best pure athlete in the WWF today."
Yeah, a suplex on concrete shows just that.
Unlike Bob Holly and Al Snow before them, they actually made their way back to the ring to continue the match. Mankind attempted the People's Elbow but Rock moved out of the way and took control. That led to more brawling and another suplex onto the floor on the outside. Then another. Then another.
All that athleticism, eh Cole?
After those suplexes, Rock demanded the referee count Mankind down and casually strolled over to commentary, put a headset on, and started commentating his own match. This gave Mankind time to recover, jump over the announce desk, and lay into "The Brahma Bull" with a seemingly unending stream of what looked like hard punches.
Then he draped Rock over the announce desk, climbed up on the apron, and landed an elbow to put "The Great One" down. Earl Hebner started counting but didn't get anywhere near 10.
Mankind threw some steps into the ring but never got to use them. Rock grabbed a chair and he went to town on Mankind's knees. That changed when Rock hit the ropes with the chair and it went flying back in his face.
Mankind then set up for a piledriver on the commentary desk but Rock sent him up and over his head for a nasty spill on some chairs and what not. Cole sold like Foley's head bounced off the announce table and his knee on the ring bell. A replay showed that that's exactly what happened. As Mankind was being counted down, Rock took the steel steps that were in the ring and threw them down onto Mankind.
That looked like it hurt.
For some reason, Hebner restarted his count. He barely got to four before getting to his feet, just so Rock could continue the ass whooping. That meant a People's Elbow back in the ring. He grabbed a mic and told Hebner to count faster or he would put his foot in his ass.
Then he started singing while Mankind was laid out on the mat. For some reason, Hebner wasn't counting this at all. Mankind countered Rock's singing with the Mandible Claw, which caused Rock to convulse so wildly Hebner was knocked outside the ring.
Mankind choked Rock out and Mankind grabbed the referee, doing his count for him. He was going way too fast and the crowd was counting even faster, so they got to 10 before the referee was at eight. It seemed to confuse Rock, who was trying to time when he would stand.
When he did, he hit Mankind with a DDT. He tried to use a chair shortly after but Mankind ducked it, kicked him so he dropped the chair, then hit a DDT on it.
The next count saw Hebner get all the way up to nine before Rock stood up.
Out came Mr. Socko, but Rock countered with a nut shot. Another Mandible Claw was countered by a Rock Bottom. The cameras caught Rock talking to Mankind as Hebner was counting them down.
When they stood up, they both had chairs and both connected with a shot to the head with them.
They both went down.
Hebner counted to 10.
He called for the bell amid a chorus of boos.
Howard Finkel told us the official decision was a draw.
The Rock vs. Mankind goes to a draw
No one liked that finish, leading to a "bull-shit" chant.
They did a stretcher job for both guys.
"Mankind's had more concussions than Elizabeth Taylor has had girlfriends," said Jerry Lawer. "Who cares."
They showed both guys getting loaded up into ambulances and taken away.
Stone Cold Steve Austin vs. Vince McMahon
This was the main event, a steel cage match with a title match in the main event of WrestleMania 15 on the line. Well, for Austin at least.
They showed the production crew putting together the steel cage while Lawler and Cole set up the match, giving back story on Austin, McMahon, and the long running issues between the two.
Austin was out first to a huge ovation.
The old four corner salute.
Vince came out looking JACKED. Dude was rocking a better body than Austin, a man some 20 years his junior.
Because McMahon was never a worker, they were always going to have to use smoke and mirrors to get something out of him here. That meant having him fake getting in the ring multiple times, until Austin had enough and chased him around the ring. Once he got in, he used his advantage to keep Austin out.
Stone Cold then jumped down from the cage and sold like he hurt his knee. This brought Vince out, thinking he had an edge. Austin was playing him, however, and he immediately hit a lariat and started beating on the boss.
All of McMahon's movements were awkward. Austin dumped him over the barricade into the front row while a group of fans had their night made coming so close to the action with the biggest star in wrestling history and the man who made the WWF what it was.
Cole reminded us that McMahon had said no one from The Corporation would interfere in the match.
Vince then used an eye rake to get the advantage. How did he use that advantage? He flipped Austin off and took off through the crowd, a decision that clearly pissed off security who were totally unprepared to deal with the rowdy fans surrounding the company's two biggest money makers.
I think Austin got a drink poured on his head.
Finally, Austin brought Vince back down to the ring. I'm not sure they rang the bell yet, so this match isn't even officially underway. It's just Stone Cold beating up Vince while McMahon tries to run away from him. That includes climbing the cage in a futile effort to avoid punishment.
Finally, they both climbed up on the cage and Austin was punching him as they went. Vince suddenly went flying backwards, landing on his back on the Spanish announce table, breaking it.
A group of referees came running and we were told they were calling for paramedics. "This has gone too far," Cole said. "This is awful," Lawler remarked. "He's the owner of this company. It wasn't supposed to come to this."
It's a steel cage match! What was it supposed to come to?!?
They set Vince up to do a stretcher job while Austin was smiling in the ring. The cameras picked up Vince saying "don't take me, don't take me." Howard Finkel and a referee climbed in the ring to announce that Austin was the winner but before he could do so, Stone Cold grabbed the mic.
He said he made some guarantees before coming to the event and the bell never rang, so as far as he's concerned the match never started and that means there can't be a winner. He asked if Vince was still breathing. They confirmed that he was. Then he polled the fans.
"If you want me to finish this can of whoop ass give me a hell yeah."
So Austin climbed out of the cage, ran down the stretcher, threw off all the EMTs and referees surrounding McMahon, beat Vince with the board he was laying out, and then threw him in the ring.
Finally, the bell rang.
Austin worked a few spots before acting like he was casually going to stroll out of the ring. Vince, ever the defiant one, flipped him off. So Austin stayed in and beat on him some more. Austin played to the crowd and let the audience decide how he would handle Vince.
Just a jolly old time for everyone but Vince.
McMahon did a blade job, although it was hard to tell at first and we only knew because Lawler told us. Then they got a close up and it was a solid cut on the forehead.
Austin talked trash before once again climbing over the cage. Vince looked up bloody and, from his knees, flipped Austin the old double bird. The Rattlesnake looked to the crowd, got the affirmative that they wanted him to go dish out some more punishment, and climbed back in to do just that.
Finally, after what felt like forever, Austin hit the Stunner. Then, as he was down and talking trash to Vince, THE GIANT came from under the ring.
"THAT'S PAUL WIGHT!"
The Giant from WCW arrived and threw Austin into the steel cage. Vince ordered him to do it again and he did just that. Except when he did it, the cage gave way, swinging open and dropping Austin out on the floor to win the match.
"Austin's going to WrestleMania!"
Stone Cold Steve Austin def. Vince McMahon
Wight stared down Austin as Stone Cold walked to the back. McMahon just laid there dead.
The cameras caught Steve saying something along the lines of "I don't care how tall he is, fuck you" and flipping Wight off before walking to the back.