This is, in fact, a real thing that now exists.
As the press release put it:
"Slurpee-lovers of all ages will have fun sporting their favorite ‘stache straw with a mason jar mug, and enjoying a Slurpee drink is all about fun and flavor," said Laura Gordon, 7-Eleven vice president of brand innovation and marketing. "While everyone loves Slurpee drinks year-round, summertime is definitely Slurpee season. I suspect we will see lots of Slurpee mustache photos on Instagram, Facebook and Twitter (@slurpee or @7eleven).
"People in our office have unofficially named the four mustache styles," Gordon said. "The British, the handlebar, the Hogan after wrestler Hulk Hogan, and the Swanson, as in Ron Swanson, a character on NBC's "Parks and Recreation" sit-com series played by Nick Offerman. I think it will be interesting to see which mustaches sell best. Of course, people can buy all four to match their Slurpee moods or if they want to slurp incognito."
Which one of you is going to be the first to get the Hogan Slurpee and make a complete fool of yourself?