Well, here it is, folks. Just days after Eve Torres left WWE, Zack Ryder has released the official music video for his soon to be smashing hit song, "Hoeski." I'm confident in saying this is the most ridiculous thing you will see all day today.
Here are the lyrics, and these were written by Ryder himself:
"When I met you girl, it was love at first sight
Your hair looked so good, your dress was so tight
At first I was nervous, so quiet and shy
Wasn't sure if your type was a bro from L.I.
I thought we'd be soulmates, like Bud Light and Lime
Thought you'd be my girl, til the end of time
You were my girlfriend, for a couple of years
But then you left me with nothing but tears
"Roses are red and violets are blue
You may have left me but I still woo woo woo
You say you've moved on and found yourself a new broski
But I don't want you back girl, cause you are a hoeski
"Fool me once, shame on me
Fool me twice, woo woo woo
"It didn't take long, for you to crawl back to me
You wanted another taste, of Long Island Iced Z
My bros tried to warn me, but I couldn't resist
Because you were the girl that for so long I had missed
You said all the right things but they were all lies
All I am is a name on your long list of guys
Now that you're gone for good, my future is so much brighter
But I still hate you for giving my heart a Rough Ryder
"Roses are red and violets are blue
You may have left me but I still woo woo woo
You say you've moved on and found yourself a new broski
But I don't want you back girl, cause you are a hoeski
"Like me on Facebook, follow me on Twitter
You broke my heart twice okay, I'll admit I'm bitter
Tried to read your mind but the print was too small
Bought you anything you wanted when we went to the mall
You got multiple personalities and not one soul
I hope the only gift that Santa Claus brings you is coal
And even though I think about you, every single day
You're not the one who got away, you're the one who walked away
"Roses are red and violets are blue
You may have left me but I still woo woo woo
You say you've moved on and found yourself a new broski
But I don't want you back girl, cause you are a hoeski
"So you think you're so cool for breaking my heart not once but twice? Are you serious, bro? When I get over you one day ... woo, woo, woo; you know it!"
I don't even know what to say to this. Cagesiders?