WWE SmackDown results, live blog for May 2, 2014: Extreme Rules go home show

WWE Friday Night SmackDown comes waltzing back into our lives tonight (May 2, 2014) from Kansas City, Missouri, with a taped show on the SyFy channel featuring the go home show to the Extreme Rules event this coming Sunday night in New Jersey.

Because SmackDown is a taped show, you can simply go read the spoilers to know everything that happens (find them by clicking here). We will provide results with a live blog below anyway.

You can use this space to discuss all the events as they occur, however, and it's probably going to enhance your viewing experience. In fact, I know it is because we're a lot of fun around here.

Enjoy the show!

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SMACKDOWN RESULTS AND LIVE BLOG

- They opened with an extended replay of The Shield vs. Evolution main event segment on Raw this week. Of note, they did not mention Ric Flair.

- "Kansas City ... we're here." They started with The Wyatt Family vs. The Usos & Sheamus. It's odd to see the former come out first for a match like this. During the match, Michael Cole wondered if those who follow Wyatt aren't weak and JBL explained that it was because of Bray's charisma. Eventually, everything broke down into chaos and they ran through a sequence getting everyone involved that ended with Bray Wyatt hitting Sister Abigail and pinning one of the Usos. Post-match, The Wyatt Family was trying to leave and both The Usos and Sheamus attacked them. Naturally, they got their asses kicked. They absolutely deserved it, considering.

- They had a contract signing for the El Torito vs. Hornswoggle "WeeLC" match. Heath Slater grabbed the mic before anything happened and he made some demands. He wants green M&Ms. He wants 100 copies of 3MB's hit record playing while he trains. El Torito then took the mic and responded. Fernando translated: "If you mess with the bull, you get the horns." No one in the crowd cares about this at all. Vickie Guerrero cut in and said this is an official WWE contract signing and she wants to keep it nice and ... SHORT! "AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA." Someone kill me. Hornswoggle signed. El Torito signed by smashing his foot against the paper after Diego put some marker on it. The two little people then climbed up on the table and had a shoving match. Then they brawled. The two teams pulled them apart but El Torito hit the gore on Hornswoggle and Jinder Mahal, sending them out. Los Matadores clotheslined Slater and Drew McIntyre out right after. El Torito went over the top rope and laid them all out right after. What an awful segment.

- Rob Van Dam vs. Jack Swagger was next. My seven-year-old nephew was watching the show with me when RVD came out and worked his gimmick. So my nephew went along with him. "ROB ... VAN ... wait, I can't say the last word, can I?" The best part of RVD coming back has been that. Before the RVD-Swagger match could get underway, Cesaro came out. Paul Heyman was on commentary. He corrected Michael Cole in his first sentence. By his third sentence, he had reminded us that Brock Lesnar conquered the Undertaker's undefeated streak at WrestleMania. This match was so short, it had no time to be anything other than bad. RVD went over Swagger clean with the Frog Splash before Cesaro hopped the ring and hit him with a Neutralizer.

- Another promo for Bo Dallas.

- Alexander Rusev vs. R-Truth was next. Jobber entrance for the latter. Lana had her hair down tonight. An interesting look for her. She cut a promo before bringing out Rusev and she's getting more and more comfortable each time out. The ensuing match was short and ended in yet another disqualification after Xavier Woods and Truth double teamed Rusev. He took a rough flat back bump from the apron to the mat on the outside.

- Daniel Bryan was out next. He was wearing the neck brace. He cut a promo saying he's just like everyone else. They all fight for what they have and overcome insurmountable odds. They also take care of their families. In fact, that's the number one priority. He plans on leaving Extreme Rules as WWE world heavyweight champion. But the match with Kane is more than that, it's a war because Kane put his hands on Bryan's wife. Bryan was pissed. "By any means necessary, the devil's favorite demon is going home. And even if I have to go with him, I am sending him straight ... to ... hell." Kane appeared on the Titantron after this. "Daniel, you say that like it's a bad thing. But you see, I like home. When we arrive there together, I'll give you a tour. It looks something like this..." They played a video with fire effects over Kane destroying Bryan the past couple weeks. "You think me putting my hands on Brie was bad; I've only just begun to show you the depths of my depravity." The segment closed with Kane laughing and repeated fading in and out on both guy's faces.

- Dolph Ziggler was out next. He's got a match against ... MAGNETO! This time, his costume was the same but his purple tights were on over the top of it. This man looked utterly ridiculous and by ridiculous, I mean awesome. These two actually had a legitimate match with Damien Sandow wearing the Magneto costume. He even left the cape on the entire time! This was great. Even better, Magneto was in control for most of the match. Michael Cole called him an idiot while JBL argued that he was beating up a former world champion. Neither were wrong. Magneto tried to use the power of magnetism to end Dolph but he laughed and hit the Zig Zag to get the pin.

- Big E vs. Titus O'Neil was next. They ran a spot early in the match with Titus throwing Big E on the announce desk multiple times. The referee, mind you, did not call for the bell here. No, that didn't happen until some time after when O'Neil just continually beat Big E down. After the match, Big E had to sneak up from behind to attack Titus. He proceeded to administer the same beating Titus had just administered to him. There was no commentary for any of this because Michael Cole and JBL had just completely abandoned their positions when Titus had first thrown Big E over the table. The segment ended with Big E rolling Titus in the ring and putting his foot on his chest and then his face while Cole got back on the mic and said "Big E standing tall heading into Sunday". Well, that's one way of looking at it.

- They ran a long video package for the Bray Wyatt vs. John Cena feud. Really good stuff. After it aired, we saw Bray put a record on with children singing about the whole world in his hands. He stopped it and cut a promo. "Oh, John, if only you could have seen your face Monday night. It was priceless. As I said, those children reached inside of your bleeding heart. It poured your soul out and they handed it to me. Because htey trust me, John. Because I believe that children are the future. I offer them hope, John. I offer them a way out. I offer them love and understanding. My word is the word they shall follow and my light is what shall lead them. Extreme Rules has become so much more than just a steel cage match. It will be the reckoning of the entire Cenation. Because when I climb out of that steel cage, John, I'll be taking them all with me. They'll be mine. They'll be mine, John. And then what will that leave you with? Nothing. Just a withered, old man, rotting all alone with a decrepit, old heart. Follow the buzzards."

- Main event was next. Dean Ambrose came out first. He bumped fists with Seth Rollins and Roman Reigns before heading off to the ring alone. The match is a Fatal 4-Way for the U.S. title. The other participants: Alberto Del Rio, Ryback, and Curtis Axel. I have no idea what qualified this men for a shot at this title, but there you go. They teased dissension between Ryback and Axel at a few points early. Ambrose was battling but always getting sent flying. There was also a spot late with Ryback hitting a lariat on Axel after Del Rio moved and Del Rio hitting the Cross Armbreaker. Ryback battled out to hit the Shell Shock but Axel made the save. Then Ambrose came out of nowhere to get the roll up on Axel. The heels attacked after the match but Reigns and Rollins showed up to lay waste to everyone.

End.