WWE SmackDown results and reactions from last night (April 5)

WWE SmackDown returned last night (April 5, 2013) from Washington D.C., with a taped show on the SyFy channel, with the last show before WrestleMania 29.

It was a pathetic excuse of a show, and those in charge should be ashamed of airing this garbage.

If you missed the show, or just want to go back and read the live blog again, click here.

To the reactions!

• This wasn't so much an episode of SmackDown as it was a pair of house show matches coupled with every recap and hype video WWE had available. No one even tried to make this episode worth watching. It's not right that people are getting paid for this. This was WWE's last chance to sell WrestleMania 29. Instead it turned into a worthless infomercial that no one should have watched.
• The "main event" saw Jack Swagger go over Kofi Kingston via Patriot Lock, which makes sense. You want the challenger to go into WrestleMania as strong as possible. What doesn't make sense is letting Kofi get in even half the offense that he did, and only letting Swagger win after Zeb Colter popped up on the apron to create a distraction. When is the last time Kofi has won anything? He's jobber status right now. Swagger should be breaking his ankle in less than three minutes. Not to mention the match sucked on the whole. It was the only one-on-one match of the night, and yet the show would have been better if it didn't happen. That should not be the last memory heading into WrestleMania 29.
• The only other match saw Ryback defeat Primo & Epico via Shell Shock. Because we're back to this gimmick again. We know "Mr. Hungry" can pick up two jobbers at once. It's no longer impressive. It was never really all that impressive, but now it is particularly unimpressive. Also, if I never have to see a two-on-one match again in my career, I will be a much happier man.
• Team Rhodes Scholars and The Bella Twins proved to be the night's sole bright spot as they came out dressed as Tons of Funk and The Funkadactyls, respectively. For Cody Rhodes & Damien Sandow, that meant fat suits and bald cap. For Nikki & Brie Bella, that meant proving the theory every female looks better in a cheerleader uniform. I don't mean to sound sexist at all, that's just scientific fact. Rhodes Scholars danced around and acted the fools in parody, and it was a stupid type of fun. Soon, the real Tons of Funk and Funkadactyls would show up and chase the impostors off. This was actually an intelligent bit of booking, and gives me hope Rhodes Scholars will not be jobbing out again. In any case, this was the only segment that didn't try to suck the life out of me.
• The Axxess segments with Michael Cole and JBL were painful to watch, particularly listening to Cole trying to rap over John Cena's intro. Just not fun at all. In this day and age of YouTube, none of this needed to be shown on television. People have the ability to go online and look for this crap. I don't know why anyone would, but they can.
• The recaps! The hype videos! The unnecessary repetition! There is no reason for them! Literally, not a single reason. Go on, try to give me a reason. You can't. Oh, you think you have a reason? NO! You have no reasons! Don't sit there and pretend you have reasons when you know damn well you ain't got no damn reasons.
• That really big announcement Vince McMahon was going to make? We were simply pointed to his Twitter account for a sneak peak at the WrestleMania 29 stage. Although, to be fair, it is a wicked cool looking set up.
• I understand the few segments that actually occurred in the ring were taped on top of Monday's (April 1) episode of Raw. But couldn't it have taped more matches in the weeks leading up to this week? Or have some backstage stuff that Monday's audience didn't have to sit through? Or have a replay of a classic WrestleMania match? Or just anything besides what we got?

I'm not even sure how to grade this, Cagesiders. It's not so much that this week's SmackDown was bad. It's just that it wasn't even a show. It was apparent no one cared.

Grade: Incomplete/Failure

What say you, Cagesiders? Was this the worst SmackDown you have ever seen, or do you have memories of something worse? Let me know how right -- or how wrong -- I am in the comments.