WWE SmackDown comes waltzing back into our lives tonight (Jan. 4, 2013) from Richmond, Virginia, with a taped show on the SyFy channel featuring the first episode of the year that really gets the build going for Royal Rumble.
If you're the impatient type and wish to read full spoilers for the show, click here.
Come back here at 8 p.m. ET for the SmackDown live blog.
WWE SMACKDOWN RESULTS AND LIVE BLOG FOR JAN. 4
C.J. here to end the week off right.
Recap of The Shield's attack on Randy Orton and The Big Show vs. Ricardo Rodriguez.
Broadcast is live.
I HEAR THE VOICES IN MY HEAD
Randy Orton out to the ring to open up SmackDown. He is going to make this "short and sweet."
Orton wants to be World Heavyweight Champion.
SmackDown used to be his show. Although it is no longer the case, he has a way to change all that.
He is announcing he will be entering the 2013 Royal Rumble match.
IT'S A SHAMEFUL THING, LOST YOUR HEAD
Out comes Sheamus to steal Orton's thunder. Now he's declaring that he will be entering the 2013 Royal Rumble match. He also thanks Orton for helping him against The Shield's attack on Raw.
Orton is quick to correct him. He came out, not to protect Sheamus, but to get his revenge on The Shield. The Rumble is everyman for himself, and Orton will be eliminating last year's Rumble winner.
WELL IT'S THE BIG SHOW!
Everyone is coming out tonight!
The Big Show informs Sheamus and Orton that, even if they win the Rumble, they aren't going to get the World Heavyweight Championship.
They'll be getting a WMD.
Show informs the audience that he is the most dominating World Heavyweight Championship!
EUROPEAN DUBSTEP! (I don't actually know the lyrics to Antonio Cesaro's intro)
Cesaro starts bashing American's, taking aim at the grotesquely obese champion.
His words, not mine.
Orton tells both men to be quiet, and if he doesn't he'll come up the ramp to deliver an RKP to both of them
CAN YOU DIG IT, SUCKAAAA!
Seriously, everyone is coming out tonight.
Booker T can see that it was obvious that everyone hates each other. But they are going to have to find a way to get along, when Show & Cesaro team up against Sheamus & Orton.
PLAYA PLAYA PLAYA PLAYA! SUCKA SUCKA SUCKA SUCKA!
The Miz vs. Heath Slater
JBL on 3MB: "Here is the air guitar version of the Spirit Squad"
In related news, JBL is the greatest.
Miz and Slater slow to lock up. Miz's take the early advantage with a dropkick and side head lock. Slater is able to get to his feet and land a few blows.
Miz is quick to put an end to that.
Jinder Mahal tries to get the distraction, but only manages to pull the ref away while The Miz lands an eye poke. He plays some air guitar to celebrate.
The Miz is dominating the match. He tries to run the ropes, but Drew McIntrye is there to trip him up. The ref catches this and tosses the band from ring side. Slater tries to argue with the ref.
Miz takes advantage and goes for the rollup, but only gets two.
We come back from commercial with Slater in control. He's stomping a mudhole in Miz in the corner till the ref has to pull him off.
Miz is able to take control with a few shoulder blocks. Slater rolls outside of the ring to catch a breather, but Miz is quick to follow. He tosses Slater into the barricade, and follows that up by pointing at the crowd.
It seems the crowd really likes to be pointed at, because they go wild.
JBL: "I want Jay Leno to just get up sometime and just slap someone"
The action heads back into the ring. Slater's in the corner, and The Miz goes for a tackle, Slater is able to get out of the way, though, and Miz goes shoulder first into the ring post.
Slater goes to work on The Miz. He tries for the pin, but only gets two.
The Miz tries to fight back, but he's put down pretty quickly. Slater gets another two count before Miz rolls under the rope. Slater follows and uses the bottom rope as leverage to twist Miz's arm. The ref counts to 4 before he has to break.
A clothesline from Slater gets two.
The Miz is up and running. He starts his comeback with a few shoulder blocks and high kicks. Slater is able to withstand it, though, and his able to toss Miz into the corner.
Slater uses the ring post to go back to work on the arm and shoulder. The ref gets a four count before Slater releases. He gets Miz in the center of the ring and gets a Hammerlock. The Miz hits a sidewalk slam and both men are down.
They get to their knees and trade blows.
JBL: "The Miz is left handed, and Slater is working on his left arm. That's great strategy!"
Why is it so hard for WWE announcers to do this?
The Miz starts his neckbreaker combo, but Slater is able to reverse by tossing him into the corner. He hits his own neckbreaker, but only gets two.
The Miz struggles to his feet, using the ropes as leverage. Slater gets over anxious and goes for the splash, but only meets ringpost. Miz hits the Skull Crushing Finale, and that gets the win.
Recap of Wade Barrett defeating Kofi Kingston on Raw
Matt Striker interviewing Barrett. The new Intercontinental Champion bemoans the fact that Kofi attacked him from behind on Main Event. It doesn't matter, though, because he will remain the champion tonight.
Recap of Mae Young giving birth to Baby New Year on Raw
The Great Khali, Hornswaggle & Natalya vs. Primo, Epico, & Rosa Mendes in a 6 person Inter-Gender Tag Team Match
Natalya and Rosa to start things off. Natalya slams Rosa's dome off the mat like a basketball before going for the pin. Only gets two, though. Rosa lands five fingers across the face is able to tag Epico. The ref pulls Natalya off and sends her to the corner.
In comes Khali, and Epico is not pleased. He runs back to his corner to tag in Primo.
Khali gets Primo into the corner and lands a stiff chop to the chest. Primo is down. Now Hornswaggle is calling for the tag.
Of course he is.
Primo is on his knees and Hornswaggle lands the tiniest chop you've ever seen.
Of course he does.
In rushes Epico, but Hornswaggle hits a cutter.
Don't ask me how. But he did it.
Primo ends the nonesense and hits a shoulder block on Hornswaggle. He drags the little man to the corner and double team starts on the little guy.
Hornswaggle is able to escape and tags in Khali. He sets up Primo in the corner and his the chop. In rushes Epico to go for the splash, but Khali moves out of the way and he ends up hitting his teammate. Over the top rope Epico goes. Khali looks over the top rope, and Primo tries to hit the Backstabber. Khali is able to hang onto the rope, though. He lands a chop to the dome, and that gets the three count.
Khali, Hornswaggle, and Natalya dance in the middle of the ring in celebration.
Kofi backstage with Striker. He says that he knew he is going to beat Barrett the second he saw him with the strap. This may be Kofi's last shot. His back is against the wall, but that is something he is used to. His back has been against the wall his entire night.
"Tonight, Wade will be running into Trouble in Paradise."
Wade Barrett vs. Kofi Kingston for the Intercontinental Championship
Both men circle the ring, slow to lock up. The announcers are really building up the championship. JBL is saying that when you lose the championship, you lose a piece of your soul.
Both men exchanging quick strikes. Kofi is able to put Wade on his back, but only gets a one count. Wade is able to get up, but is met with a drop kick.
Wade rolls out of the ring to catch a breather. Kofi follows and lands a few punches before rolling the big guy back into the ring. Kofi jumps off the top rope and hits a flying clothesline for two.
Kofi goes to work on Wade's arm. The champion his able to whip Kofi into the corner, though, and starts to take control of the match. He lands a series of slow, deliberate punches to the midsection. He goes for the pin, but Kofi kicks out at one.
Kofi is able to surprise Wade with a backslide, but only gets two. He then follows it up with two rollups, but Wade kicks out of each.
Wade gets to his feet and charges Kofi. The former champion is able to dodge and sends Wade over the top rope. He follows it up with a dive off the top rope. Both men are down outside the ring. Wade is able to get to his feet first and send Kofi back into the ring. He decides not to follow, knowing that a count out means he still retains the title. Kofi realizes this as the ref count's hits 8. Kofi rushes out side and is just able to roll Wade back into the ring in time.
Kofi with the rollup, but only good for two.
We come back from commercial with Wade delivering a wicked clothesline. Kofi is able to get to his feet and lands a few forearms. He tries to run the ropes, but Wade meets him with a high knee.
Kofi is tied up in the ropes. Wade lands a few high knees, followed by a kick to the dome. Kofi is laying outside of the ring. The ref counts to nine, but Kofi is just able to get back in.
Wade does not let up. He sets Kofi up on the top rope to attempt the superplex. Kofi fights out of it with a few punches and a headbutt. Wade reels back. Kofi goes soaring threw the air with the crossbody, but only gets a two count.
The two men exchange punches, but this plays into Wade's hands. Kofi is sent back into the corner. Wade charges after him, but Kofi is able to do the fancy "duck under the rope and kick your opponent in the head" thing. Kofi follows it up with the S.O.S., but Wade fights out after two.
A wicked kick to the dome by Kofi, and he lands the Boom Drop. He's setting up the Trouble in Paradise. Wade is able to duck out of the way. He tries to pick Kofi up, but Kofi squirms out and gets the rollup. Wade counters with his own rollup, but again is broken up at two.
Wade with the spinning sidewalk slam for the two count.
Both men are dazed. Wade goes for the Bull Hammer, but Kofi reverses with a Trouble in Paradise. Wade is able to roll out of the ring before Kofi can get the pinfall. Kofi has to get out of the ring, roll Wade back in, and goes for the pin. Wade is able to grab the rope to stop the count.
Kofi is getting frustrated. He sets Wade up in the corner and charges the champion. Wade is able to get up the leg, though, and Kofi staggers across the ring. Wade goes for the Bull Hammer, but Kofi is able to duck under it.
Kofi runs up the ringpost and jumps from the second rope.
And Wade lands a devastating Bull Hammer with Kofi in midair. That gets the three count, and Wade retains the Intercontinental Championship.
Great match. Strange booking, but a great match.
Layla vs. Tamina Snuka
Tamina goes to work on Layla. She sends Layla out of the ring, and rams her right into the barricade. Back into the ring they go. Layla tries to get the rollup, but only gets one.
Tamina back to work with a headlock. She gets Layla's shoulder's down, but only for a two count.
Layla is able to get out and lands a drop kick. She goes for the L.O.L. (Lots of Layla, that thing where she jumps on the ropes in the corner) but Tamina catches her in midair. She plants Layla on the mat with a Samoan Drop.
Up to the top rope Tamina goes. She hits the Superfly Splash, and that gets the three count.
Raw Rebound of Dolph Ziggler, AJ Lee, and John Cena's "interaction."
The Big Show & Antonio Cesaro vs. Randy Orton & Sheamus
Sheamus and Cesaro to start things off. Both men circling the ring. Cesaro with a headlock, followed by a shoulder block. Sheamus follows with the exact same combination.
A tag to Orton. He hits a suplex for a two count.
Tag back to Sheamus. He lands a few clubbing blows and whips Cesaro into the corner. Cesaro is able to get a shoulder up on the charging Sheamus and starts to regain momentum.
Clothesline from Sheamus puts an end to that.
A tag back to Orton. He hits an upper cut that puts Cesaro on his back, and tags Sheamus back in.
Cesaro is able to push Sheamus into his corner and tags Show in. A few punches and a headbutt puts Sheamus on his back.
Show does a quick turn and tries to land the WMD on Orton, but "The Viper" is able to jump off the apron to avoid it.
Sheamus takes advantage and lands a kick to the midsection. Show is leaning on the ropes. In jumps Orton, and the pair delivers a double clothesline that sends Show tumbling out of the ring.
We come back from commercial with Sheamus landing the Irish Hand Grenades. A suplex sends Cesaro back into the ring. He goes for the pin, but Cesaro gets the shoulder up at two.
Sheamus sends Ceasro into the ropes. Show gets the tag, but Sheamus is completely unaware. Show sneaks up from behind and drops Sheamus with a spear. The Irish fella is whipped into the corner. Show follows it up by standing on his chest.
Show body slams Sheamus to put him in the middle of the ring. He drops the elbow, but that only gets the two count.
Show continues to go to work on Sheamus with a few punches to the midsection. He spends too much time arguing with the ref, though, and Sheamus is able to land a few punches of his own. Show sends Sheamus into the corner, but Sheamus is able to get out of the way. Show is staggering. Sheamus tries to bring the big man down.
Show is able to recover and hits the chockslam. He only gets a two count.
Show loading up the WMD. He takes a wild swing...
And Sheamus ducks under it and counters with a Brogue Kick.
Both men down. Both men crawling to their corners...
AND ORTON GETS THE HOT TAG! CESARO GETS THE HOT TAG! EVERYONE GETS A HOT TAG!
Orton goes through his "Vintage Orton" routine. Cesaro is able to squirm out of the second rope DDT, though. They switch places, so Orton is outside the ropes and Cesaro is in the ring. Orton drops Cesaro's neck into the tope rope. As Orton tries to get back into the ring, Sheamus tags himself in.
Orton is pissed.
Sheamus hits White Noise on Cesaro. He is tuning up the band.
And Orton comes flying into the ring to hit the RKO!
Sheamus can't hit the Brogue Kick because Cesaro is out cold.
Sheamus is pissed.
He reluctantly covers the United States Champion, and that gets the three count.
We fade to black with Sheamus and Orton mouthing off to each other.