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Hey! Were you aware WWE Network is free through the month of April if you're a new subscriber? Well, you are now. Might as well get in and put it to use.
So while you wait for first round playoff basketball to happen (I know some of you are), and if the NHL playoffs aren't your thing, or if you're just looking to kill an hour and a half, may I suggest you come along with us for a live retro blog.
This week, the Retro Live Blog returns with not a PPV, but an episode of RAW; this one is from April 13, 1998. What's so special about it, Eddie Mac? Well, it's special for two reasons: (1) it's the first ever professional wrestling match for Vince McMahon as he's goaded into a challenge for the WWF Championship against champion Stone Cold Steve Austin, and (2) this is the RAW that ended the year and a half long streak of ratings victories by WCW Monday Nitro.
We'll treat this as this were airing live, so live blog rules apply (meaning leave the pics and GIFs at home). Kickoff is 1pm ET Sunday (that's 10am on the West coast and 7am in Hawaii. If you're in Britian, that's 6pm.) Everywhere else, do the math. So if you wanna follow along, make sure you got that WWE Network hookup and click play at 1pm ET and enjoy the festivities.
Coverage below, with a quick analysis at the end.
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This is your captain The Notorious Eddie Mac speaking, and I'll be live-blogging the festivities as best as I can.
RAW is WAR, April 13, 1998. Rated TV 14-DLV.
We open with a Previously on RAW with Michael Cole voicing over Stone Cold's "corporate makeover" from the previous week's RAW that did not work out... not even a little bit.
The Corestates Center in Philadelphia is LIVE. 16,237 WWF fans in the house. Jim Ross and Michael Cole in their custom red and black RAW jackets.
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Whoops. No time for chitchat. Here comes the WWF Champion Stone Cold Steve Austin. Questionable sign about a sexual act somehow made it through security, but whateves. Austin calls out Vince McMahon, and he threatens to hold the show hostage until McMahon comes out. No physicality, just a talk. He'll drink beers and take naps, he don't care.
Paging Vince McMahon...
McMahon peeks through the Gorilla position, then emerges with Gerald Brisco and Pat Patterson. Then a couple of cops in riot gear behind them. It's not that serious. Not yet, anyways.
Austin wants to know who his opponent at Unforgiven is. Unforgiven is in two weeks. Vince McMahon hasn't made up his mind. Austin wants to know, but Vince don't know. Then Austin basically calls Vince to the carpet about his lifestyle and demeanor, you know the beer and language and fingers and dress. Then Austin comes to a strange conclusion: Vince McMahon doesn't just want someone like him to be the WWF Champion, Vince McMahon wants to be the WWF Champion. Is he drunk or something?
Austin announces there will be a WWF Championship match tonight, and Steve's opponent: Vince McMahon. McMahon just saw his life flash before his eyes. Easy way or hard way: easy way, pick a WWF official and accept the match. Hell, Austin could probably win with one hand tied behind his back. Hard way: Austin gets a cameraman and McMahon gets his ass whipped anyways. And McMahon has all of a half hour to think it over. And that's the bottom line because Stone Cold said so.
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Backstage, Patterson and Brisco are more or less challenging his manhood.
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DOA vs. Los Boricuas in a four corners tag team chain match. Each man attached to a 20 foot chain in the corner. D-Generation X, who came out beforehand, nail Chainz with steel chairs on the outside, and Triple H with the pedigree to Chainz on the chair. Then Billy Gunn with a piledriver on the chair on the ramp. DX hits the ring and they go after Skull and 8-Ball. Los Boriquas and DX are doing a number on the DOA, and though there is no disqualification, the referee declares it a no contest at 2:05. Disciples of Apocalypse got DE-STROYED, homes. Then Chyna from behind with dual low blows and DX decimates Los Boricuas. Chainz getting the stretcher job, and D-Generation X stands tall. No one is safe from Hurricane D-X.
Backstage, Shane McMahon is also talking Vince McMahon out of this. I'm with Shane. This is not a good idea.
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Outside shot of the Corestates Center, then WWF owner Vince McMahon emerges just as a light heavyweight tag team match is about to begin. Vince clears out the ring. Vince talks about the family history of the WWF. McMahon talks about integrity and such and how Austin lacks it. Vince's made up his mind: a man's gotta do what a man's gotta do. Will Vince take on Austin for the WWF title? Oh, hell yeah. Crowd erupts. Brisco and Patterson congratulate McMahon. Yeah, I'm with Ross. People done lost their minds up in here. Jim Ross is apparently going to talk McMahon out of it.
Light heavyweight tag team match is about to get under way again, but GONG.
The Undertaker is here. Three chokeslams. Tombstone piledriver to Scott Taylor. Shit just got real. Undertaker calls out Kane and promises the beatings will continue until little brother shows up.
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WWF Slam of the Week shows Austin stunning Vince McMahon from the night after Wrestlemania XIV.
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Kevin Kelly outside Mr. McMahon's locker room, and video shows of Jim Ross unsuccessfully trying to change Vince's mind. Back to work, Ross.
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Tennessee Lee out with "Double J" Jeff Jarrett taking on light heavyweight champion Taka Michinoku as leaflets fall from the sky. Picture-in-picture interview with Steve Blackman. Blackman will get his payback. Maybe tonight, maybe next week, maybe when Jarrett sings at Unforgiven. Jim Ross returns. Jarrett gets disqualified when Club Kamikaze do a number on Michinoku. Jarrett with a figure four, but it's after the fact. Taka Michinoku wins by disqualification at 3:00.
Backstage, Stone Cold Steve Austin reacts to McMahon accepting the challenge. Not like McMahon had a choice.
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Backstage, Patterson and Brisco discuss with McMahon ways to counter the Stunner.
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Faarooq emerges with the DDP bandage (bandage around the ribs). And the old leader of the Nation is calling out the new one, The Rock. And his Nation. Out comes the Intercontinental Champion and his band. The Rock has a big hand, and you know what that means: he's gonna lay the Smackdown on you whenever he damn well pleases, and you'll do nothing and like it. Faarrooq raises his fist. And he's got a Nation of his own: Ken Shamrock and Steve Blackman and it's ANARCHY! ANARCHY! ANARCHY! Not nearly enough people out to break this up. Loud ROCKY SUCKS chants.
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WWF Rewind is Cactus Jack walking out on the WWF the previous week.
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Terry Funk is out as Jerry Lawler hops in on commentary early. Funk is no quitter unlike Cactus Jack. And Funk brings out the Funk...Flash Funk. Flash Funk (aka 2 Cold Scorpio) and Terry Funk versus The Quebecers. ECW chants. Scorpio with dropkicks and is a house of fire until Pierre cuts him off. Belly to belly superplex from the top rope. Quebecer Roll misses and Scorpio hits the 450 on Pierre. Terry Funk and 2 Cold Scorpio wins in 2:15. Resurgence of 2 Cold imminent? Perhaps.
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HALFTIME! As Luna Vachon emerges. And Luna's calling out Sable. PMS reference. Luna ain't waiting for Unforgiven.
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WARZONE begins with the roar of the wildcat and... Sable... naah, Goldust as Sable emerges. Luna strips "Sabledust". Then the real Sable emerges and shit's on. Not nearly enough people to contain Sable.
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Backstage, Austin laces his black boots for his imminent WWF title match with Vince McMahon. The New Midnight Express (Bob Holly & Bart Gunn) versus The New Nation (Ken Shamrock & Steve Blackman). Shamrock stares down the NWA world champion Dan Severn as Jim Cornette tries to separate them. Severn is tossed as the match begins. Beautiful dropkick by the former Sparky Plugg, but Blackman with a spinebuster. Backslide gets two. Holly with a hurancanrana, and Philly is not impressed. Blackman misses on the headbutt. Jim Ross gets a dig in on WCW. Shamrock with a "hot tag". Referee loses control and it's a double disqualification at 3:38.
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WWF Unforgiven smashup thing, then backstage Kevin Kelly interviews Vince McMahon. McMahon ain't of nobody, not the government, not of the big bad wolf, not of Ted Turner and Time Warner, not of Steve Austin.
The Headbangers out then... GONG. I guess the Undertaker wasn't kidding. Headbangers get the jump on the Deadman, but... nope. Tombstone. Chokeslam. Lights go out again and finally Kane emerges with Paul Bearer. Paul announces that Undertaker-Kane II will be in a cemetery and you can fight right on the grave of your dead parents. OUCH.
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Backstage, Austin walks towards the Gorilla position. WWF title match imminent.
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Vignette for Val Venis.
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That pulse-pounding music of D-Generation X plays in the green and black army, as Owen Hart faces a DX member to be determined. The winner was apparently determined by 500-word essays, with Billy Gunn, aka Mr. Ass, winning. OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH WHAT A RUUUSSSSSSSSSSSHHHHHHHHHHHH! LOD 2K and Sunny emerges.
Backstage, Vince McMahon getting some curls in.
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Match is joined in progress. Owen Hart vs. Billy Gunn with DX on commentary and LOD 2000 at ringside. Not gonna lie: I don't get the LOD 2K outfits either. I'm partial to the simple red and black spikes. Owen with a crossbody for two. Spinning heel kick gets a near fall. Enzuigiri gets two. Owen hooks the Sharpshooter. Distraction by Chyna and Billy takes advantage. LOD 2K and DX stand off and shit's about to get real.
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Missile dropkick gets a near fall. Rocker dropper by Gunn and both men are down. Commercial free for the rest of the show. Gunn chokes Hart and lets go at four. Powerslam by Gunn, but Owen with a schoolboy and Owen Hart with the surprise win at 8:36. Crotch chop by Animal, someone that should not be crotch chopping. Just saying.
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Backstage, McMahon, Patterson, Brisco, and Sgt. Slaughter make the walk to the Gorilla. Signal gets lost for a minute, then Tony Chimel introduces the main event. Steve Austin vs. Vince McMahon for the WWF Championship. Vince and his stooges emerge first, then Shane McMahon with a last-ditch effort to talk some sense into his father. Jim Ross questions the future of his house and GLASS BREAKS! Stone Cold Steve Austin, the WWF Champion, is out. Chest bump and referee Mike Chioda separates the two.
They... they're really gonna do this, aren't they?
McMahon slaps Austin. Yeah. We're doing this. McMahon calls Austin on an earlier boast: he could beat him with one arm tied behind his back. And McMahon's got a rope. And it's gonna be Austin's stunner arm that gets tied. LOUD Austin chants. As Mike Chioda checks to see if the arm's tied, BEAT HIS ASS chants loud. HELL YEAH chants for Austin, HELL NO chants for McMahon.
Lots of stalling. LOTS AND LOTS OF STALLING. Mouthpiece for McMahon. Guess you gotta be absolutely sure. Dude Love music. Ooooooooooookay. Dude Love's trying to talk Steve out of it; after all, Vince McMahon writes the checks.
McMahon shoves Dude Love down. Mandible claw to McMahon. Vince tries to resist, but then Dude Love with the Mandible Claw on Steve Austin. Wait... WHAT? Dude Love lays the boots to Austin and McMahon and company take off. McMahon wants Dude Love. It's a no contest. Much confusion and Vince McMahon wants some of the Dude. Austin fights back, but one-armed men, ass kicking contests, that sort of thing. Dude with the Mandible Claw on Austin again. What the hell?
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EXTRA ATTITUDE! Austin finally gets untied as Dude Love's music plays him out. Austin finally gets untied and shit is on. But he's cut off by D-Generation X. Out comes Kane, then LOD 2K emerges, then Undertaker. It's a RAW After the Show fight. ANARCHY! ANARCHY! ANARCHY! Austin with a Stunner to Road Dogg and Stone Cold Steve Austin, The Undertaker and LOD 2000 defeated D-Generation X and Kane for the happy ending.
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ANALYSIS
WWF was building momentum since around the Royal Rumble, and the footsteps were only getting louder and louder. It was only a matter of time before the repeated nWo run-ins to the Nitro main events caught up to them (and surely enough, this week's Nitro main event between Sting and Kevin Nash for the WCW world title ENDED IN AN NWO RUN-IN), and all it took was for the WWF to tease an Austin-McMahon match. Sure they didn't deliver on said match, but I don't think they ever intended to. Just the tease made people curious, and that's what put RAW over Nitro top for the first time in nearly two years (June 1996). They were gonna let it bake and come back for it when it was ready. As for the show itself, it was slightly better than your average RAW in 2015. A lot of filler, but at least filler with people you care about. I will say this: nobody saw the Dude Love heel turn coming.
Grade: C