WWE Monday Night Raw comes waltzing back into our lives tonight (Aug. 18, 2014) from the Thomas and Mack Center in Las Vegas, Nevada featuring the fallout show from the SummerSlam pay-per-view (PPV) that went down just last night in Los Angeles.
Advertised for tonight: Brock Lesnar is the new WWE world heavyweight champion. It's his world, folks; we're just living in it.
Come right back here at 8 p.m. ET when the Raw live blog kicks off once the show starts on USA. It will be below this line here. (REMINDER: NO GIFS OR PICS ARE ALLOWED IN THE COMMENTS SECTION. OFFENDERS WILL BE BANNED.)
WWE RAW RESULTS AND LIVE BLOG FOR AUG. 18
Broadcast is live.
They ran a video package running down what happened at SummerSlam last night. It was, of course, awesome.
Daniel Bryan's music played and the crowd went bonkers. They kept the camera on said crowd because this was a troll job and Stephanie McMahon came out wearing her new STEPH! STEPH! STEPH! t-shirt. She did Bryan's skipping "YES" all the way around the ring.
She thanked the crowd for chanting her name because she just loves to hear it.
She put over SummerSlam last night, saying WWE monitored social media and people were saying it was a better show than WrestleMania 30. Well, we certainly said as much.
She ran down the card pointing out all the losers on the show. The biggest, of course, was Brie Bella. The lesson? The Authority always wins. Also, you can relive Stephanie's incredible victory for just $9.99.
She can't take all of the credit, though, so she thanks Triple H for being her rock and always standing by her side and being faithful ... unlike Daniel Bryan. She kept pushing that Bryan cheated on Brie, saying he did it because he found out who Brie is and she's selfish.
Here to tell us more about who Brie really is: her sister, Nikki.
On her way out to the ring, Nikki lost one of her shoes. She's in high heels and owned it so as not to be embarrassed, holding up the shoe and shaking her head.
She hugged Stephanie in the ring.
The fans chanted "you sold out" at her.
When Nikki went to talk, her microphone wasn't working. She kept going despite this and the issue corrected itself. She said she's always cared about Brie but Brie didn't become the woman Nikki wanted her to be. She's really selfish, actually, and it's been that way since they were kids. Brie used to even blame Nikki for everything when they were kids!
"I'm just so sick of her telling me that I'm never going to get married, that I'm never going to have a husband."
Stephanie suggested that Brie was racing Nikki to the alter. Nikki agreed before saying it's okay because she got the better end of the deal. After all, Brie married that goat faced troll Daniel Bryan.
Nikki acted sad about the situation before saying she's finally free and it feels so damn good. Stephanie encouraged all this. Finally, Brie came out.
"Don't lose your nerve, Nikki," Stephanie says as Brie is walking to the ring.
Brie climbed in and asked why Nikki was doing this. "I am your sister, Nikki, and I love you. We are sisters for life. You have destroyed our family. For what? I don't even know. What you did last night... I can forgive you."
Nikki: "You can forgive me?"
"I will never forgive you!"
Brie started crying and left the ring as Nikki and Stephanie looked on.
The Wyatt Family vs. Big Show & Mark Henry
They ran this match on SmackDown last week and now it's time for the rematch.
Henry battered and blasted Erick Rowan early in the match, sending him desperate to Luke Harper to tag him in. Once there, Henry kept up the assault while screaming "I'M FIRE AND BRIMSTONE". When he tagged out, Big Show came in shaking his head like he had to find a way to be just as impressive.
He did just that before a commercial break.
Somehow, they managed to come back from the break in basically in the same spot as when they went into it. The tide finally turned in the favor of the Wyatt Family, as Harper and Rowan worked over Show. This was to get the heat on the heels to set up the hot tag to Henry.
When Henry got in, Harper used that time to run around to take Show out. Then he climbed in the ring to put the big boot on Henry before he could get the world's strongest slam on Rowan. This only got a two count, however, and Show recovered in time to hit the KO punch on Rowan right into the world's strongest slam.
That got the pin.
Show & Henry def. The Wyatt Family
Dolph Ziggler was shown backstage talking to Ric Flair, who was wishing him "good luck". The Miz showed up and said Dolph shouldn't get too comfortable wearing the Intercontinental championship because he's not worthy of it and later on tonight, it will be going back home.
Miz called himself an "A" lister.
Dolph's response: "You're not an 'A' lister, Miz ... you're just an 'A-hole'."
Flair gave that a "WOOOO" and that was that.
Renee Young was backstage for an interview with Mr. Money in the Bank Seth Rollins.
She congratulated him on his win over Dean Ambrose last night. He said it felt so good because he did what he said he would. He didn't run, he didn't hide, and he proved that not only is he the future WWE world heavyweight champion but he's the future of the entire WWE.
Renee suddenly bailed because Ambrose ran in and dumped a bucket of ice water on his head.
When Seth turned, Dean looked at him befuddled: "What? It's for charity."
Then he threw the bucket at Seth's head and they brawled for a minute before a bunch of officials came in to break it up. Rollins was screaming at Dean that he's "done" with him.
Kane was backstage talking to Triple H in the latter's office. Rollins came in screaming that he's tired of this and they really need to take Ambrose out of the equation.
Triple H told him to calm down. "We saw it, which is why tonight you're going to have a rematch."
Rollins asked if it would be another Lumberjack match.
Triple H told him no because Ambrose has the people on his side. So, instead, he'll let the WWE Universe decide the match stipulation. That way, the blood will be on the fan's hands on not The Authority.
As Rollins walked away, Triple H told him to "finish it".
Natalya vs. Paige
Natalya debuted the fan-designed ring gear.
Before the match, Paige got on the mic and said she wanted to say that despite everything, she respects and loves AJ Lee and she wants to dedicate this match to "my little AJ".
There was a spot early where Paige had Natalya's arm locked up and she was nuzzling up to Natalya's neck. That might be a new wrinkle for her character. She also did the slow, seductive crawl on top of Natalya before head butting her like she did AJ last night.
Just after that, Lee's music hit and she went skipping around the ring. Paige, of course, was totally distracted by this. Enough so, in fact, that Natalya rolled her up for the pin.
Natalya def. Paige
AJ grabbed a microphone.
"I just wanted to say that despite everything, I respect you, Paige. I love you, Paige. I dedicate my life to you, Paige."
Paige looked taken aback by this.
"I need to get in that ring and shake your hand right now."
Paige ran away and suddenly looked as though she regretted taking a page from AJ's playbook.
The options for the Ambrose vs. Rollins match tonight:
A) No Holds Barred
B) Falls Count Anywhere
C) No Disqualification
Vote now on the WWE App!
Triple H and Stephanie McMahon were out next. Stephanie, for what it's worth, changed her wardrobe, switching out from the jeans and "STEPH!" shirt to a sleek black dress.
Triple H called SummerSlam quite possibly the best event of its kind. That's both because of Stephanie scoring her first win in 10 years and the main event title match between Brock Lesnar and John Cena. They fought over the future of WWE and it is Triple H's honor to show us the symbol of that future.
They unveiled the new belt, which isn't all that new. It's really the same title just with the updated logo.
Lesnar was introduced, emphatically.
He came out and they made a dramatic show of taking photos with the new title. They went to each side of the ring and posed with it, everyone having just a gay old time. Finally, Triple H threw it over Brock's shoulder and raised his arm.
The Authority shook hands with both Lesnar and Paul Heyman before exiting stage left.
Once they bailed, Lesnar showed off the new title to Paul and smiled at how nice it looks.
"Ladies and gentlemen ... my name is Paul Heyman and I'm the 1 behind the 1 who conquered the 1 who thought he was the 1 to beat the 1 in 21 and 1."
My head hurts.
Heyman said his client didn't just beat Cena last night, he victimized him. That means Paul can claim himself the advocate for the reigning, defending, undisputed WWE heavyweight champion of the world BRRROOOCCKKK LLLEEESSSNNAARRR.
Now, let's get down to business.
Heyman said he's been authorized to let us know a secret that not even The Authority wants revealed tonight. That secret? John Cena is not here this evening.
Brock laughed at this.
The reason Cena isn't here is because he can't be here because he isn't physically able to be here and that's because of BBBBRROOOOCCCKKKK LLLLEEESSSSNNNAAAARRR.
Brock laughed again and told Heyman he loves when he says his name like that and to do it again. So Heyman did it again.
Then he moved on to putting over John Cena, saying his reign has lasted 10 long years, which is more than the three that The Rock ruled and the four that Stone Cold Steve Austin ruled. That's what made it so impressive that Lesnar absolutely dismantled him.
But, you know what else? Cena didn't actually give up like most others would. He didn't just turn the title over in the first 30 seconds. Heyman said his own kids are John Cena fans, which really pisses him off, but now he understands why. It's because Cena just keeps coming back for more. He really and truly never gives up.
"John Cena, you earned my respect and my admiration, to the point where if I had the time on my hands I would love to make you a Paul Heyman Guy."
He went on to say if they wrote the script just before Lesnar pinned him, Cena would have gone down as the greatest fighting champion in WWE history.
But that's not what happened, folks, and Lesnar does not agree with any of that bullshit. He who dies with the most street cred doesn't die a winner, he just dies.
John Cena died.
Everyone who steps into the ring with the beast is going to die.
All these challengers are just men. The champion, however, is a beast, and he will lay wreckage on anyone who gets in his way.
"If you're too cheap or too stupid or too blind to have paid for the WWE Network, let me tell you what happened last night. This is what you call basic Brockanomics.
"Eat. Sleep. Suplex. Repeat."
Then he said "suplex, repeat" 15 times.
Brock nodded along as Heyman came up with new things to say. Eat. Sleep. Victimize. Repeat. Eat. Sleep. Beat. Repeat. Eat. Sleep. Conquer. Repeat.
Dolph Ziggler vs. The Miz
As he was walking out for the match, Ziggler was emphatically pointing out to the crowd and shouting "YOU DID THIS!"
They did individualized ring introductions like they would in the UFC when both were in the ring. This is for the Intercontinental championship, so we're on alert for a title change.
The match started and it wasn't long before Ziggler was selling a knee injury. Miz worked it when he could, including a Figure Four he punctuated by making super annoying faces and grunting.
The finish was really lame.
Ziggler got knocked to the outside and couldn't manage to get back in the ring in time, in part because Miz kicked him out when he was about to get back in.
The Miz def. Dolph Ziggler
They announced Miz the winner but followed up with the fact that Dolph is still champion. Miz reacted to this with furious anger, throwing Ziggler in the ring to attempt a beat down. Instead, Dolph hit the Zig Zag and that was that.
Renee Young interviewed Jack Swagger backstage. They showed the highlights from last night's match with Rusev before he spoke.
She asked how he felt after last night.
"Last night was an opportunity to defend the country I love. I failed. But you know what makes America the greatest country on Earth? When things get hard, we come together. That's we the people."
He said he was going to pick himself back up and come out swinging because that's "we the people".
Jack Swagger vs. Cesaro
Of note here, Zeb Colter was nowhere to be seen. Michael Cole brought up the fact that he was kicked in the face by Rusev last night, so that's likely the explanation.
Cesaro controlled early. He was hitting power slams and stretching Swagger out. It wasn't long before Jack made his comeback and got a two count on the Swagger Bomb. Cesaro regained control for a minute before Swagger locked in the Patriot Act.
Surprisingly enough, it didn't get the tap and it wasn't long after that Cesaro hit the Neutralizer to get the pin.
Cesaro def. Jack Swagger
After the match, Bo Dallas came out and said 318 million is the number of people who were let down when Swagger lost to Rusev. Now look at him: He's lost his manager, he's lost all self-respect, he's lost his dignity. But he can get it all back ... he just has to BOLIEVE!
JBL legitimately said: "I disagree. I don't think Jack Swagger could get it back even if he did BOLIEVE."
Back to Renee Young for an interview with Chris Jericho, who is sporting some shadow on his chin.
She asked how he feels after losing to Bray Wyatt at SummerSlam. He said he realized that after facing so many superstars in WWE he's never gone up against anyone like Wyatt. He noticed that there's an emptiness inside of Bray. When Wyatt told him he's already dead, Jericho knew he was telling the truth.
But Jericho is not dead inside.
He has the fighting spirit that drives him forward every day in his life. He also has the best fans in WWE history. He knows that all the Jerichoholics will have his back no matter what he does.
That's something no human being on this planet will ever take away from him.
Roman Reigns, Rob Van Dam, Sheamus vs. Randy Orton, Rybaxel
This is an odd pairing of wrestlers but here we are.
They let the babyfaces get the edge early but it wasn't long before they used Sheamus to get the heat on the heels. Then, something strange happened. The crowd in Las Vegas started going NUTS for Ryback, chanting his name and saying they wanted him to tag in the match.
When Orton finally did tag him in, they EXPLODED.
He got some work in and then tagged back out to Orton, which got boos. When Roman Reigns was given the hot tag, he cleaned house to a big pop.
That is until he hit Ryback and half the crowd booed it.
Still, he cleaned up and got all his stuff in. When he was about to hit his finish, Orton got a backbreaker from nowhere. Reigns rolled over to tag in RVD. He did his thing, then they did the old chaotic finishers spamming spot made famous in all those old Shield six-man tags.
The finish was Van Dam hitting the Frog Splash on Axel to get the pinfall for his team.
Reigns, Sheamus, RVD def. Orton, Rybaxel
Randy Orton was walking in the back. Ric Flair stopped him.
"Hey, Randy. I get it, you're upset. Let's talk about Roman Reigns."
Orton told him to stay the hell out of his way unless Flair wanted to find out why they used to call him the Legend Killer.
"Last night at SummerSlam, a pale horse came for you, Chris. And the rider, his name was Wyatt. I warned you this would happen. I told you. After all, I am a man of my word. Jericho claims he looked in my eyes last night and he says that he saw nothing, emptiness. And I got to thinking, well, Chris, maybe you're right. Maybe I don't have a soul. Maybe my only place on this Earth is to collect them and they are merely play things to me. But there is one thing you may never be able to comprehend. Behold the new face of salvation."
The Usos vs. Goldust & Stardust
They worked really slow early on and Goldust's timing was way off. Jimmy and Jey were in control and bragging and dancing and shouting "US" about it. They were also sliding around a lot.
Stardust came in and managed to overcome a rib issue to get the pinfall.
Goldust & Stardust def. The Usos
They were put over as new threats to the tag titles, so this might be the next program for these teams.
Rusev and Lana were out next.
She told us the match at SummerSlam was dedicated to Russia and its noble leader, Vladimir Putin. She went on but before she could get too far into her schtick, Mark Henry's music hit and he came out walking with purpose.
Once in the ring, he paused for a "U-S-A" chant.
"Do y'all here that? That's American pride," Henry said. "I've had the honor of representing this country twice in the Olympic games. It has and always will be two of my proudest moments. I've never had a problem with anybody and their country and their beliefs and their flags.
"Except the way you two jackasses do it.
"Last night at SummerSlam, I gotta admit it got under my skin to see that flag raised in MY COUNTRY. It made me sick to my stomach."
Lana started talking and Henry screamed at her: "I'M NOT TALKING TO YOU."
He then told Rusev the power isn't gone in America and he's going to give him a personal guided tour into the Hall of Pain. They had a staredown while the crowd chanted "U-S-A". JBL said Rusev was going to deliver a sucker punch and right on cue, that's what happened.
Henry got the advantage and hit the world's strongest slam. Then he splashed Rusev, all while Lana stood terrified and distraught in the corner.
When he was done, Henry went ringside and slapped hands with the commentary team before putting on JBL's hat. He yukked it up with the crowd.
"WHERE MY FLAG AT?!??"
Jerry Lawler was in the ring to announce the results of the WWE App vote.
Falls Count Anywhere won the vote with 41-percent.
Main event time.
Dean Ambrose vs. Seth Rollins
They brawled to start and I'm just going to get out of the way of this and enjoy it.
Big spots aplenty. They included a straight suplex on the stage and Charles Robinson selling his hand after the ensuing pinfall attempt. Hey, that stage is hard on a referee in a Falls Count Anywhere match.
Back in the ring, they broke out chairs and kendo sticks. It got crazy. They beat each other up.
At one point, Ambrose filled the ring with a stack of chairs. Then he tried to superplex Rollins but couldn't pull it off. Instead, Rollins flipped and hit a sit out powerbomb on the chairs.
For a two count.
Kane showed up as if from nowhere to sit ringside at this point.
Rollins grabbed a table and set it up in the ring as the crowd went batshit insane. Rollins set him up on it, but just his head. He was going to try a Curb Stomp from the top rope through a ladder.
Dean recovered, however, and hit a superplex through the table.
When Ambrose went for the pin, Kane showed up to stop it. So Dean threw Seth out and hit a suicide dive on them both. Then he hit the recovery clothesline -- that Rollins sold with a full flip like last night -- before hitting Dirty Deeds. The ensuing pinfall was broken up by Kane.
It didn't matter. Ambrose went nuts and started beating up everyone in every way he could, jumping and flying everywhere.
He set up Rollins to hit Dirty Deeds on the announce table but Kane recovered to hit him with a Choke Slam before he could do it. The table didn't break.
Then Rollins hit a Curb Stomp, still on the table.
The table didn't break again.
Then Kane broke out a pile of cinder blocks and held Ambrose down on them while Rollins jumped off the announce table and broke Dean's head through them.
The referee saw the damage and stopped the match himself, declaring Rollins the winner.
The EMTs showed up to tend to Ambrose while Rollins and Kane gloated right next to him.
They played Rollins music while doing the stretcher job for Ambrose.
"I don't think we'll see Dean Ambrose again," Lawler remarked as the show faded to black.