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Coulda Been Betta: Adam Rose and the Exotic Express

Adam Rose's debut...sucked. Here's how you book that gimmick on night one and leave the fans with the right taste in their mouth, rather than the remains of the lollipop that they got.

Boy did this debut ever stink.
Boy did this debut ever stink.

RAW last night wasn't a great show. Albany wasn't a great crowd. It's not that nothing noteworthy happened, because Sheamus' subtle heel turn and US Title win was a smart move and got things moving in a different direction. The ending segment in large part was well done and made enough sense. The comical over the top horror crap of Kane and Daniel Bryan, made worse by Brie Bella's horrendous scream-acting or whatever the hell that was...was awful. All of the Kane/DB b-movie stuff literally looks like a parody, but not a Wayans-level parody, which is saying something in itself.

Cesaro/RVD led me to the following conclusion: Heyman is going to turn on Cesaro, leave him, and call him a loser. Cesaro is about to flounder through matches, even if he goes over it'll be less convincing. Eventually the turn happens, maybe at SummerSlam, maybe before, but the inevitable point, at least in my head right now, is that the end game is Cesaro pinning Brock Lesnar at Wrestlemania 31. Let me know your thoughts on that...

So on a night where not a whole lot happened that was good or interesting, Adam Rose's debut stood out, but not in a good way. Zeb's promo was awesome and then out comes Adam Rose and his Russell Brand in Get Him to the Greek or Forgetting Sarah Marshall gimmick, but not for a match, despite being in his wrestling gear. Adam Rose comes out to dance and shut Zeb Colter up.

So I ask you, how well did Fandango's gimmick work out once the fans realized the matches would often not happen or if they did, they wouldn't matter? Rose may never be Daniel Bryan. We've seen Leo for a while and he's certainly competent. But on night one, I have the guy work, if only because of the lesson of Johnny Curtis.

Here's how you do it:

Use Damien Sandow, who understands the business, will play ball, and will do it right.

Either have Sandow out cutting a promo that gets interrupted, or have Rose come out first doing his deal and have Sandow roll out with "Silence!" However it ends up, the two actually have a match. It goes around four minutes and then the following takes place:

Sandow takes a dropkick or a clothesline or whatever else and powders to the floor, where he encounters the Exotic Express groupies. He somehow ends up face to face with the giant rabbit. This upsets Sandow, who screams a bit in his usual way, then takes a wild haymaker-like swing at the mascot, which he misses. Immediately, Adam Rose hits the Party Foul on the floor on Sandow, like within two seconds of the missed punch. Sandow is knocked out cold from the face bump.

Rather than roll him in and pin him, Adam Rose does what his Rosebuds would expect. He starts to dance and party around Sandow. Rose signals and his music hits. The match ends in a double count out. Rose's entourage surfs its hero around ringside inside the barricade as the fans get into the music. Maybe Sandow comes to and tries to get up and then gets trampled by the entourage one more time.

If Sandow were credible right now, maybe you don't do this idea, but after the shenanigans with Sheamus and of course, Magneto, it's not like comedy is beneath that character. Here you can actually set up...gasp...follow-up matches and a first feud for Rose with someone talented who isn't being used that can work on TV for three or four weeks and maybe even be a kickoff match for Payback.

OH...and you make sure and tell Michael Cole not to fake-laugh and exclaim "C'mon guys, this is awesome" like some kind of a bag -- you decide the prefix.

So there you Adam Rose's first impression...could have actually worked. Thoughts?

(I dropped "How It" from the series title because we all get it, this is shorter, still gets the point across, and bada bing right?)

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