Just yesterday we asked you dear Cagesiders to take the pencil and book the opening segment to next Monday night's (May 26, 2014) episode of Raw from Knoxville, Tennessee. And while there were plenty of good ideas (read them all here), Cagesider StuckInAfghanistan blew everyone away with his suggestion.
Read it, in full and unedited, below.
Vince McMahon comes out after a long absence, to sustained applause and cheers.
Pulls a chair into the ring and sits down.
"I'd like to talk to you all tonight," he begins. "I've owned this company for longer than most of you have been alive. I've put out of business all my competitors and one by one all those who doubted me have felt the bitter taste of defeat.
"I've created an EMPIRE. The greatest EMPIRE the world of sports entertainment has ever known. And once this EMPIRE was secure, I planned to leave it to my beautiful daughter and her husband. They would carry the torch for me. They would take the WWE to heights I never dreamed up. The McMahon EMPIRE will reign for a thousand years."
McMahon slowly rises from his chair, looks out to the crowd, then takes a slow, silent walk around the ring.
"I'm getting up there in years. I'm not the spry, genetic jackhammer I used to be."
The crowd starts to boo in disagreement.
"I've done the best I could by this business. Looking at you all tonight makes me realize all the struggles and all the pain was worth it. So with that said, tonight I have an announcement to make regarding the future of the WWE."
The crowd starts to cheer in anticipation.
"Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome the two individuals who will lead the WWE in the years ahead, my daughter Stephanie McMahon, and her husband, Triple-H."
Their music hits, the crowd starts to boo. The both walk smugly down to the ring.
"Thanks, pop," says Triple-H, as he hugs his father-in-law. Stephanie appears to have tears in her eyes, anticipating what's about to come.
"Hunter, I want you to know I've always thought of you as a son. I am so proud of the job you've done with NXT and the work you've done preparing the next generation of superstars. Stephanie, you'll always be my little girl...."
Steph starts to break down crying.
"From the moment you were born I knew you were special. I knew you were destined for great things. First you made me a father, then you made me a grandfather. Perhaps the time is right that I spend more time with the grandkids."
"Oh, daddy!" Steph gasps, embracing her father. Triple-H leans in and puts his hand on Vince's shoulder, a smile ten yards wide beams across his face.
"We won't let you down, pop." Triple-H says.
"I know you won't, Hunter" Vince replies, disengaging from Stephanie's embrace. "Because I'm not leaving you in charge."
The crowd goes wild, Stephanie and Hunter back up to the other end of the ring, shocked.
"But daddy, you promised," Stephanie wails, tears burned away in a rage of anger. "You promised!"
"I lied," Vince sneers. "I'm Vince McMahon dammit, and I don't have to promise anything! You'll get the company when I say you get the company."
Vince turns and exits the ring, walks up the ramp to the stage.
"Would you like to meet your new boss?" Vince says, cracking a half-smile.
The crowd, already hushed in anticipation, goes almost silent. From the ring, Steph and Hunter are beet red with anger and betrayal. Who could Vince possibly be putting in charge of the company. What man could be placed in a position of authority over them?
Just then "Cult of Personality" blasts over the arena loudspeakers. The crowd goes ballistic.
Out walks a tanned and rested, CM Punk. He walks over to Vince, shakes his hand. Vince leaves and Punk stands at the entrance.
"Hello, Hunter. Hello Stephanie....."
There you have it.
Now just wait until you're asked to book an entire three-hour episode of Monday Night Raw.