The $5 stream went live for the pre-show just as Harvester of Sorrow stopped playing, so good timing lads.
Mark Maxwell and Zach Thompson hop in the ring and run down the participants in tonight's scramble match before inviting Matt Cage to come to the ring. He shoves them away, saying he doesn't need them to interview them, he's got this by himself. They were running down the talent in the scramble but one of those men is not here tonight, Chris Castro. Cage spent years mentoring Chris but it turns out that he was just a fat lazy excuse of a pro wrestler. But regardless of who is or is not here, Cage claims he'll be declared winner in the end.
Maxwell and Thompson continue running down the card, and when they get to the tag title match, Brubaker and Kobe Durst hit the ring. Brubaker complains about the way his booking has changed (from the tag title match to the scramble and then back to the tag titles) and they take their leave. Zach and Mark wrap up the card and Mark gets a moment to talk about retiring tonight. One orange streamer hits the ring! And a second!
He talks about his journey into wrestling, going to wrestling school nine years ago and being on commentary for Freelance from day one and eventually getting a hand in the booking team. He looked up to dudes like Paul Heyman and Gabe Sapolsky and all he wanted was to be part of a hot indie wrestling promotion that packed buildings and here he is. He thanks everybody that has stepped into the Freelance ring as well as the crowd for giving him a chance to live his dream.
Alex Ohlson vs.
Chris Castro vs. Darin Corbin vs. Kenny Sutra vs. Matt Cage vs. Space Monkey vs. Stevie Fierce (Scramble Match)
Monkey and Fierce start, Space using his speed (and his banana) to counter Stevie's greater strength. Fierce tags Sutra in and the BETA man starts taking it to the primate and Monkey bails. Ohlson in, Face Eraser on Kenny but Cage comes in and just murders him. The match breaks down, Corbin up top, big splash, everybody moves out of the way!
Fountain of dives ensues, Sutra (suicide dive forearm) then Monkey (moonsault from the top to the outside that scrapes the ceiling), then Alex but Cage cuts him off! Buckle bomb puts Ohlson's head through the turnbuckles, a second, a third... POWERBOMB TO THE OUTSIDE! Back in the ring Cage hits a brainbuster but Castro breaks the pin up! He's here after all! Matt begs off but Big C ain't hearing it and lays a beating on him.
Cage cuts it off but Castro hits a pop-up cutter and gets a nearfall, so he's still in the match! Cage hits a Money Shot, the ref dawdles and Castro's able to kick out. Cage takes Castro outside, pillar to post, but Castro's able to turn it into an even-sided slugfest in front of the stage. Cage and Castro brawl through the entrance as Space Monkey and Corbin get back in the ring.
Darin blocks a tail whip and hits a cutter on the tail! Fierce and Sutra take him out with tandem superkicks and quickly get into it with each other until Fierce baseball slides Kenny outside. Ohlson in to try a rollup but Fierce kicks out and puts his knee through his skull. Space Monkey just threw poop at Stevie. I... Yep. Now he's feeding him the poop, but Stevie turns it around and Monkey eats his own poo! Stevie plows him over with a Mafia kick...
Stevie Fierce wins by pinfall with a Killswitch on Space Monkey.
Not sure about the poop stuff, but that was awesome. How Alex Ohlson is alive after that first buckle bomb, I'm not sure, but damn if it wasn't memorable. Plus all the stuff with Castro coming back and brawling with Cage, good times.
Space Monkey's selling in the ring as Ethan Page's music hits. He's with another man and asks Monkey if he understands English and gets a "yes" in whatever monkey language it is that Space Monkey speaks. He says that everybody knows that Ethan Page does stuff that nobody else will, and he met a man backstage who was looking for Space Monkey and brought him out.
The man introduces himself as Lorenzo Rose, Esquire (apologies if I misheard, sir!) and says he's here because Space Monkey is breaking the law. He can't be in the ring endangering the lives of these... whatever they are. He says Monkey can't be here because he's a pet, or food, or something, and the Cook County Board can't allow him to be here. Monkey nods that he understands but when Lorenzo tells him he needs to stop wrestling he hugs the ropes.
Page says he understands, that Monkey is breaking the law and he needs to be locked up forever. But what if somebody adopted the Monkey, he says, put him on a leash, and Lorenzo agrees that this would be an acceptable situation. But unfortunately there's a lot of paperwork and he can't do it here tonight. Page has the paperwork! He signs it, and now Ego owns a monkey! He clips the leash on Space Monkey and promises to feed him and train him, ordering him to sit and when that doesn't work, to kneel before him, because Ethan Page is an actual supervillain.
Sally Stitches makes the save! She's definitely not WWE-bound Heidi Lovelace! She demands that Page let him go but Ethan calls her a little girl and says if she wants to tell a man who owns a monkey what to do, don't hide behind a mask like a "little bitch". She takes the mask off, oh man, she's gonna be somebody we don't even know... IT'S HEIDI?! Page puts the boots to her but Cannon makes the save! A ref follows behind and the match is on... but it's a triple threat now!
Arik Cannon vs. "All Ego" Ethan Page vs. Heidi Lovelace
Page knocks Cannon out of the ring and hits a vicious backbreaker on Lovelace. He keeps the press up, hammer whipping her hard into the turnbuckles before Arik comes in to take his share of the beating from Ego. Jackhammer can't put Cannon away and Page starts slugging at him. Heidi back in with a sweet back-on-the-ropes slingshot tornado DDT and a trio of a Yakuza kicks in the corner into an STO for a nearfall!
Page with a powerbomb, Cannon breaks it up and it's back to man-on-man action as they trade right hands. Arik gets a nearfall off a swinging neckbreaker, Page with a Tan Sheamus in return but Heidi breaks the pin up. PAGE GORILLA PRESSES LOVELACE FACE FIRST INTO THE TOP TURNBUCKLE! Page is thinking Spinning Dwayne off the second but Heidi fights out with elbows and huge Meteora, off the ropes and Cannon blocks her.
They have a moment and Page blindsides them! Arik dumps Page and he and Heidi get into it. He tries to talk through it she hits a big slap and a satellite DDT before heading up top for a senton... No good! Whip across, Cannon catches Lovelace for an Alabama Slam but she reverses... CANADIAN DESTROYER! NOT ENOUGH! Cannon and Lovelace trade superkicks, Page slides in...
"All Ego" Ethan Page wins by pinfall with a schoolboy pin on Heidi Lovelace.
Very good match. Real rollercoaster flow to it. Poor Space Monkey, owned by that sneaky snake.
Post-match Heidi offers a handshake but Arik declines. She offers again and he pushes her hand down again before putting a hand on her cheek, and then they kiss!
Brubaker & Kobe Durst vs. N-Words (Acid Jaz & Bryce Benjamin) (c) vs. Team BETA (Craig Mitchell & Matt Knicks) (Freelance Tag Team Championship)
Bryce and Mitchell start off, Benjamin flipping Mitchell the bird and shadowboxing Brubaker to set the tone. They grapple a bit, trading some slick dodges and pin attempts before Craig tags Durst in. Knicks in as well, stuff goes a little crazy until everybody's wiped out outside and Bryce hits a triangle senton atomico!
Bryce and Mitchell end up back in it, but Brubaker and Durst take Benjamin out with an assisted Codebreaker and a German suplex. BETA hit tandem slams and that's not enough either, so they go for tandem Trapper Keepers but the N-Words save their own titles. Superkick party from the champs...
N-Words win by pinfall with a Sidewalk Stomp on Matt Knicks, retaining the Freelance Tag Team Championship.
Short but sweet, and honestly my recap here doesn't do it justice. Really enjoyable sprint.
Brubaker and Durst immediately hit the ring and put boots to the N-Words, holding the titles tall like they won and walking off with the belts!
And with that, we go to intermission for a little while.
Christian Rose out first with a microphone, to the tune of raucous "Shut the fuck up!" chants. He asks how it feels to be in the presence of the new voice of Freelance Wrestling. In the hands of somebody like Suge, a microphone is just a microphone, but in his hands it's an instrument that brings all the rats coming. He made sure this match was happening on his terms, and he's brought his own referee to call it straight down the middle. And furthermore, unlike the usual order of things in Freelance, this match will have count-out and disqualifications, and if Suge loses that way, well, so be it.
Christian Rose vs. Suge D (Loser Leaves Freelance Wrestling)
An electric staredown kicks it off before they go right to slugging it out in the middle of the ring! Suge takes Rose to the turnbuckles, smashing his face in and countering a counter with a sunset flip that put's Christian's head through the bottom turnbuckle. Hesitation dropkick gets a nearfall, back drop sends Rose outside and he comes back in with a lariat but Dunkerton keeps his head up until Rose hits his knee on the apron... POWERBOMB INTO THE SUPPORT BEAM!
Hammer whip and Rose keeps the press up, putting his forearm into Suge's kidney and chopping him hard in the corner. Suge back in it with chops of his own but Christian rakes the eyes and takes him back to the woodshed, locking him in a WAR Special and dropping him with a back suplex for a nearfall. The "D" stands for dodging and diving as Suge creates an opening and gets some breathing room with a Zig Zag.
Up top, Rose cuts him off, looking for a superplex, Suge hits the counter gourdbuster and stands up again... diving elbow drop! No cover, Sugar is wild-eyed and heads back up top for a second and connects again. He signals for one more and lands it clean... ROSE IS OUT AT TWO! A pair of suicide dives follows but Rose cuts him off on the third. They fight into the crowd and here the shortcomings of the $5 stream become evident, but commentary has our back, telling us that Suge got shoved into a wall and then Styles Clashed on the floor!
Rose heads back in the ring, happy to take the count-out win... SUGE D IN AT NINE! Christian with a spear but it's not enough, he goes for a suplex but Dunkerton reverses to a brainbuster... ROSE GETS HIS FOOT ON THE ROPES! Both men slowly rise to their feet to trade forearms, Suge taking the lead and clobbering Rose with a flurry of hands. Whip gets reversed, Rose hits the implant DDT, Suge out at two!
Rose declares himself the Best in the World and calls for the Go To Sleep to the boos of the crowd... it connects! SUGAR DUNKERTON OUT AT ONE! Chops and forearms from the onetime throwback basketballman before shifting to kicks. Suge charges in, Rose picks the leg, No Leaf Clover is in! Suge drags himself around, Christian stomps his head in but Dunkerton refuses to give up and gets the ropes.
Rose heads out and get a chair, setting it up in the corner, calling for Suge to get up. He clubs him back down and continue to push him around towards the chair. Suge wakes up and grabs the chair but remembers about the rules of the match! Rose clasps his hands behind his back and kneels, offering the target and even spitting at Suge. He nearly gives in but fights it, fuming in the corner as Christian comes up behind him. Born on a Monday spikes Sugar on his head... NOT ENOUGH!
An exchange later, Suge with a double underhook drop into Stretch Royale as the fans crowd the ring, cheering him on! Dunkerton breaks the hold and stomps Rose's head in! The referee admonishes him and goes to throw the match out but Suge grabs his hand and orders him to do no such thing! Suge sets himself up in the corner...
Suge D wins by pinfall with a running knee, saving his career in Freelance Wrestling!
Excellent match. Escalation without excess, just really thoroughly enjoyable.
Suge asks for his music to be cut and shouts out Papa Hales before asking if Christian Rose is still here. He says he's missing the best part and proceeds to sing Na Na Hey Hey Kis Him Goodbye before saying he's gonna keep it short and thanks everyone. A lot of people are leaving tonight, and he wishes them the best in their future endeavors, but Suge D isn't going anywhere. 2017 is a whole new door and he's a whole new man, so no matter who's champion, he's coming for the title.
Hornswoggle vs. Kikutaro
Test of strength early, Horny gets the advantage and breaks shortly after but Kikutaro doesn't realize. Wrist control takes Kikutaro to his knees again but he makes the ropes eventually. Side headlock from the big man, Swoggle shoots him off and eats a shoulder block. Off the ropes, drop down, Kikutaro just steps on him but Swoggle is able to send him outside after.
Looking for a dive, Kikutaro pulls a woman out of the crowd to block! Around to the stage, diving splash! Back in the ring Kikutaro punishes Horny with straight right hands and a kick to the anus in the corner. Horny comes back with a body slam, Hogan/Andre all over again! Flurry of strikes and an enzuigiri for a nearfall, Swoggle goes for a German suplex and Kikutaro fires off a superkick in return!
Kikutaro setting up the monologue brainbuster but Hornswoggle fights out... GERMAN SUPLEX ON THE BIG MAN! NOT ENOUGH! Goes for another, reversals, Kikutaro kicks him in the dick but there's no DQ. Horny returns the favor and then Kikutaro kicks the ref low for good measure. They hold their ding-dings in pain and trade slaps, Swoggle wins the exchanges but Kikutaro catches him off the ropes with a chokeslam, he had it won but the ref's balls hurt too much to finish the count!
Swoggle goes up top, Kikutaro cuts him off, Horny counters by biting his dick! Off the top..
Hornswoggle wins by pinfall with the Tadpole Splash.
That was... something else. Seriously, it was an entirely singular experience. The butt stuff, again, I dunno. I mostly think it's funny, but you judge that for yourself. The struggle to get Kikutaro over for the German suplex? Really pretty cool.
Hornswoggle gets on the mic saying that for ten years he watched Kikutaro travel the globe making comedy wrestling popular and this was a legitimate dream match of his. He thanks everybody for letting him check the match off his bucket list and hopes to see us soon. He and Kikutaro hug, and Kikutaro takes a turn on the mic.
He demands the music be cut and thanks Hornswoggle for a great match before saying ten years ago today he wrestled in Ring of Honor, and one year ago he wrestled here at Freelance for Wrestling Road Diaries 3 and promised to move to the United States. Yesterday, he moved to the United States. Wrestling for the US changed his life, Lucha VaVOOM changed his life by getting him a visa, Wrestling Road Diaries changed his life, and he vows to survive wrestling in the United States before thanking the crowd and telling them that he loves them.
GPA vs. Isaias Velazquez vs. Mustafa Ali (c) (Freelance Heavyweight Championship)
The atmosphere for this one is electric, constant chants for Ali here on his last day on the independents.
Some stalling early as all three men hang back and soak it, but they soon square off, GPA and Velazquez jumping Ali and putting boots to him in the corner. Their alliance doesn't last, however, as Isaias shoves GPA away and the champ comes in, eating a double flapjack as the two challenges face off. Forearm for forearm, GPA snaps off a tilt-a-whirl headscissors, they trade quick pinfall attempts fluidly for a bit and Ali springboards back in with a dropkick that levels both men!
The champion criss-crosses and throws arm drags, ends up in a wheelbarrow... German suplex train! Ali rolls out again, GPA hits a pair of jawbreakers, low-bridges Isaias outside and wipes him out with a suicide dive! Ali heads back in to cut GPA off up top, GPA knocks him down and Velazquez after but eats two dropkicks that knock him over into an inverted tree of woe. Mustafa and Isaias up top... TANDEM COAST TO COASTS!
Both men go for a cover at the same time and end up slugging it out over GPA's prone body, a superkick dispatches Velazquez but it's too late for the cover to finish GPA off. The champion continues to punish GPA in the corner, sparing a moment to keep Velazquez out of the ring when GPA comes back with a volley of forearm strikes. Ali has a tornado DDT for Isaias and another for GPA but it's not enough! Ali off the ropes, Velazquez catches him in a powerbomb clutch... GPA hits the Lungblower for the combo!
They slug it out and Velazquez gets a nearfall off a standing Shiranui, Ali springboards into a reverse STO and then Velazquez drops 'em two-for-one with an awesome combination. The champion up top, Velazquez cuts him off, GPA hits a backbreaker on his fellow challenger... ALI OFF THE TOP WITH A GUILLOTINE LEG DROP! Ali hits a neckbreaker on GPA, going back to the same well he used to such great effect in their title match earlier in the year, before taking him up top.
GPA shoves him down but he uses Velazquez for a stepping stool... AVALANCHE FRANKENSTEINER! Both men are down and the champon goes up top... 450 SPLASH ON BOTH MEN! NO GOOD! GPA knocks Mustafa down to the apron, he and Isaias dodging and jockeying, GPA with a backbreaker rack toss into the turnbuckle, neckbreaker, Straight A... Velazquez kicks out!
GPA sets Isaias on the top rope, hooks him for the super Straight A but Ali comes in with a springboard Ace Crusher! Frog Splash... VELAZQUEZ BREAKS UP THE PIN WITH A DIVING DOUBLE STOMP! All three men weary on their feet, slugging it out with chops and kicks, forearms and slaps triangle-style until a triple superkick lays each of them back out! Ali kips up, there's life in him yet, and he runs over both challengers, hitting a Rolling Thunder neckbreaker on Isaias, who bails immediately after.
The champion hits a huge tope con giro after and fires up on the outside, dragging Velazquez back in and GPA into the apron before heading up top. GPA crotches the champion and follows behind, getting his wits about him... ALI WITH THE SPRINGBOARD SPANISH FLY! Velazquez in, looking for Hammer of Dawn, Ali slips away and hits one of his own but GPA breaks the pin up! GPA with the Straight A but he can't capitalize quickly and Ali is able to turn his pin into the Koji Clutch!
GPA's fighting, he breaks it, and locks a Koji Clutch of his own on! Velazquez grabs Ali's hand to block the tap and kicks GPA off before going after the champ himself but only ends up eating a poison Frankensteiner. GPA eats a superkick and Mustafa Ali is still in it! He heads up top for the 450 but comes up empty, GPA slides over...
GPA wins by pinfall with a small package on Mustafa Ali, becoming the NEW Freelance Heavyweight Champion!
What an excellent match. The constantly shifting two-on-one flow kept it moving without anybody taking a nap for too long. Certainly a fitting end to Mustafa Ali's time on the independents.
Ali hands the title to GPA after and both he and Isaias raise the new champion's hands. GPA gets on the mic and says on a professional and a personal level the title means so much to him, but he has to make a point. The only reason it matters so much is that in the two years this company has been around, the Freelance Championship has become the most prestigious title in Chicago, and the only reason that has happened is because of the work of the two men he shared the ring with tonight.
He cedes the floor to Ali, who's speechless a moment at the crowd reaction. He says he's gonna miss this so much and before he rambles a bunch of stuff off the top of his head, he wants to make sure he doesn't forget to say that Freelance Wrestling saved him. His incredibly gorgeous wife is in the back there, and she's getting it good tonight. But in January he told her for the five hundredth time that he was probably going to be done wrestling this year, but there's this company called Freelance, he's gonna go give them a try.
He liked it, and told Freelance to book him until the end of the year, but he's done at the end of the year. Then the Cruiserweight Classic came along. "Honey, I'm just going to do this one show..." Then the Dusty Classic came along. "Honey, I'm just going to do this one show..." And then WWE offered him a full-time deal, but there was one catch-- he had to drop everything by November 30th. And he said no.
Not unless he got to do one last Freelance show. He thanks WWE for letting him come out one last time. He singles out a couple guys on the ramp, including Bryce and Suge, and thanks his wife, friends, and family. He implores everyone to keep Freelance alive no matter how his career goes, and the roster fills the ring as he asks the crowd to give it up for Freelance Wrestling.
A hell of a show and a hell of a sendoff, not just for Ali, but
Sally Stitches Heidi Lovelace, Christian Rose, Mark Maxwell, and Space Monkey's freedom. The main event and the loser leaves town are absolutely worth the purchase price of the VOD once it goes up, and there's not a bad match on the card besides. Freelance are on an absolute roll, folks-- if you're not on the train, get on it. Especially with the $5 stream being both cheap and consistent these days (not a single blackout this time!), there's no better time than the present.