Ernest “The Cat” Miller & Dango give advice to Santino Marella as Director of Authority in Impact

Impact is coming in fresh off the Hard to Kill PPV, and they opened Thursday night’s episode of Impact Wrestling in a wild way.

A couple of notes before we get started unpacking the madness. Mickie James won the Knockouts Championship from Jordynne Grace. Bully Ray failed to win the Impact World Championship from Josh Alexander in Full Metal Mayhem. Frankie Kazarian announced that he signed to Impact. Santino Marella was revealed as the new Director of Authority while Scott D’Amore heals from being powerbombed through a table by Bully.

James was slated to open the show. Bully rudely interrupted. Threats of violence were made. Tasha Steelz and Savannah Evans wanted a front row seat to see Bully pop James upside the head. The mean girls ended up stomping James. Kaz and Grace ran in for the save to even the odds. That’s when Santino arrived to restore order as D.O.A.

Santino was still new on the job, but his instincts told him that this situation calls for a match. He had a little trouble figuring out the math, so Ernest “The Cat” Miller appeared as a surprise.

Miller was a commissioner of Nitro in WCW. He helped Santino with a magnificent idea. If these chumps can’t get along, let’s get it on. Santino finally figured out that he should book a trios bout. James, Grace, & Kaz took on Bully, Steelz, & Evans. James ended up earning the winning pin on Steelz.

That wasn’t all from The Cat. Santino chatted with Miller backstage. Santino shared his idea to determine the #1 contender to challenge Josh Alexander for the Impact World Championship at No Surrender on February 24. The Milan Miracle came up with a Golden Six-Shooter match comprised of former champions Chris Sabin, Eddie Edwards, Rhino, Rich Swann, Moose, and Callihan. Miler was feeling it. The Cat also advised Santino to follow his heart when on the job.

Santino then wandered over to a familiar face with law enforcement experience. Officer Dango of the Fashion Police! Steve Maclin butt in, so Dango suggested a match with Maclin. Santino made it happen.

Dango swiveled his hips, but the power of dancing was not enough to defeat Maclin. Mr. Mayhem won via double underhook DDT.

Santino’s night wasn’t over. Alexander was on board with the Golden Six-Shooter concept, then Gisele Shaw and Jai Vidal sashayed into screen with a request. Shaw angled for a Knockouts tag title shot, but nobody wanted to be her partner. Alisha Edwards replied, “Eww, no.” Santino took it upon himself to find Shaw a partner for next week.

The Santino era is off to a fun start.

What advice do you have for Santino Marella in the Impact Zone? Did you call your momma when Ernest “The Cat” Miller appeared on screen?