Impact recap: Bullet Club are masters of the groin punch

For fans of the Hans Moleman masterpiece, “Man Getting Hit by Football,” the Bullet Club has a treat for you. On this week’s episode of Impact Wrestling, they went for an all out assault by unleashing various attacks to the groin.

FinJuice had a huge opportunity by competing against the Good Brothers. A win for David Finlay and Juice Robinson would guarantee them a future tag title shot. The match was back and forth down to the wire. As all four were on the mat after a blitz of action, the Bullet Club ran down to the ring. Chris Bey, El Phantasmo, and Hikuleo proceeded to pound FinJuice and the Good Brothers in the groin over and over again.

It started with Phantasmo dropping a punch to Robinson’s crotch. Bey did the same to Luke Gallows. ELP stomped on Karl Anderson’s unit. Hikuleo stomped and twisted on Finlay’s junk. ELP landed another shot to Gallows’ jewels. Bey superkicked Finlay below the belt. ELP upped the creativity by placing the tag title atop Robinson’s package to stomp down. Phantasmo also used the belt as a weapon to bash Anderson down low.

The match ended in a no-contest. Backstage, FinJuice were upset about Bullet Club’s bull crap. Scott D’Amore offered to make it right by booking a #1 contender tag match against the Bullet Club next week.

Impact has done plenty of crazy stuff in the past. That makes me curious if the Bullet Club’s groin punching develops into a full story. I don’t know how you tailor a match stipulation around shots below the belt, but I sure am curious to see what Impact can offer. It doesn’t hurt that I am exactly the target market who laughs at that particular type of humor.

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Let’s jam through Impact Wrestling results from the past two weeks, starting with the October 28 show.

Moose opened the show as new world champ. (Full details here.) Eddie Edwards came out with a kendo stick to brawl. Once security separated the two, Moose proclaimed himself to be the best champ in all of professional wrestling. Josh Alexander ran in from behind to hit a German suplex. Moose rolled out of the ring. Minoru Suzuki’s music blared. The Japanese legend entered the ring for a staredown with Alexander. The former champ turned his back on Suzuki, so that insult required fisticuffs. Security broke up that skirmish to end the segment.

Backstage, Matt Cardona approached Moose about getting a title shot. Punches were thrown between the two.

X-Division Championship: Trey Miguel retained against Rocky Romero. Trey wanted to be a fighting champion, so Romero answered the call. Trey gained the advantage in the battle of swagger when he countered a clothesline into a brainbuster. Trey landed the Meteora flying double knees for victory. Afterward, Steve Maclin pummeled Trey and speared him in the Tree of Woe.

Tasha Steelz tried mind games to split Jordynne Grace and Rachael Ellering, but it didn’t work. Their bond of friendship was as strong as ever.

Maclin explained that Trey never beat him, and he is coming to take the X-Division belt. Scott D’Amore offered Maclin an opportunity to earn it. It was later announced that Maclin would wrestle Rohit Raju, Laredo Kid, and Black Taurus in a #1 contender bout for the X-Division.

Continuing the same scene, Cardona and Edwards both requested matches with Moose. D’Amore felt Alexander deserved it most, so he made a trios bout. Alexander, Edwards, and Cardona will wrestle Moose and two partners, if he can find anybody willing.

Still in the same scene, D’Amore walked in on Alexander choking the referee who officiated Moose’s cash-in. Alexander’s gripe was starting the match while his family was still in the ring. D’Amore offered pep talk advice to not let emotion control him and ruin his path to regaining the gold.

Rachael Ellering defeated Tasha Steelz. Ellering used her brain over her brawn to secure a backslide pinfall win.

W. Morrissey planned to go after Moose and the Impact World Championship. Moose asked Morrissey to join his team. If they get the job done, then Morrissey will have first crack at the title.

The IInspiration came to Impact to inspire the Knockouts division. The new tag champs are worldwide stars, Australian legends, and inspiration leaders.

Joe Doering vs. Heath ends in a no-contest. The referee lost control with Rhino and Deaner fighting in the ring, so the match was thrown out. In the aftermath, Eric Young fooled Rhino and Heath to reveal he is healthy from injury. Young crushed his foes with a flying elbow drop and a piledriver. (Full details here.)

FinJuice wanted another match with the Good Brothers, since they didn’t get pinned in the three-way at Bound for Glory. The champs declined and wanted those nerds to earn it.

The Demon was interrupted by Johnny Swinger. The Swingman was down on his luck after the closure of his illegal casino and being tricked by the Gene Simmons lookalike. Swinger warned that the Demon’s kind wasn’t welcome, however, the Demon came to Impact because they welcome demons. Crazzy Steve and Black Taurus backed him up. Swinger warned that this beef wasn’t over.

Mickie James celebrated winning the Knockouts Championship from Deonna Purrazzo at Bound for Glory. Madison Rayne came out to challenge James. Rayne felt that she is the forgotten pillar of the Knockouts division alongside James, Gail Kim, and Awesome Kong. Rayne wants to prove her greatness by becoming a six-time champ.

Moose and Morrissey searched for a third and approached Suzuki. At the mention of Alexander’s name, Suzuki smiled and gave them a fist bump.

Ace Austin defeated Chris Sabin. Madman Fulton played a factor in the main event. Fulton yanked Sabin into the ropes setting up Ace to pounce for the Fold to win.

Switching over to this week’s show on November 4.

X-Division #1 contender: Laredo Kid defeated Steve Maclin, Black Taurus, and Rohit Raju in a four-way. Action was fast and furious. Laredo found an opening for a Michinoku driver to pin Rohit. Afterward, champ Trey Miguel came in for a respectful staredown. Maclin attacked with mayhem, however, Trey and Laredo sent him packing.

Madison Rayne was confident she will win the Knockouts title from Mickie James. When asked about Locker Room Talk with the IInspiration as guests, Rayne had no clue about that.

Ace Austin showed off his new t-shirt, “I beat Chris Sabin.” Ace was quite pleased with himself. Madman Fulton was booked to wrestle Sabin. Madman is going to pick him apart.

Eric Young spoke about his return from injury. It is time for him to get his hands dirty building a monument of violence. Young also warned Rhino that he is Violent by Design forever. Jai Vidal answered the call for the match. Young felt the young man’s energy. Vidal has the sickness, and Young was the cure.

Eric Young defeated Jai Vidal. The newcomer was quickly put down with a clothesline, punches, powerbomb, and piledriver.

The IInspiration showed up for Locker Room Talk, but Rayne was not there. It turned out to be a trap by Decay. (Full details here.) Rosemary and Havok played parlor tricks as Cassie Lee saw them in the mirror. By the time Jessie McKay glanced over, Decay disappeared. After IInspiration left, the mirror showed the words Turning Point to imply a tag title rematch at the November 20 event.

Backstage, the IInspiration decided to use ghosts to fight ghosts after Gia Miller joked to avoid the undead bridesmaids.

Johnny Swinger tried to sell his beloved horse painting to raise cash to buy a casino in Las Vegas. Hernandez stepped in to help Swinger’s fall from grace. Hernandaddy thought it was more about the Demon bringing Swinger down.

Knockouts Championship: Mickie James retained against Madison Rayne. (Full details here.) Kaleb Konley continued to cause distractions. James ducked a slap and tossed him into the ring steps. Back in the ring, the champ flew off the top rope for a flying Thesz press to pin the challenger. Afterward, Mercedes Martinez came out to challenge James at Turning Point. Martinez already earned a title shot from the Knockouts Knockdown tournament.

The IInspiration found Kimber Lee and Brandi Lauren. They proposed that the undead bridesmaids could wrestle Decay. Kimber and Brandi laughed about collecting more souls for Su Yung. That implied accepting the match for next week.

Josh Alexander, Eddie Edwards, and Matt Cardona were brought together by wanting the Impact World Championship, but they will be on the same page for the main event against Moose, W. Morrissey, and Minoru Suzuki.

Chris Sabin defeated Madman Fulton. The big man was too large for Sabin to hit the Cradle Shock, so he altered his game plan to win by bouncing off the ropes for a roll-up.

Moose, W. Morrissey & Minoru Suzuki defeated Josh Alexander, Eddie Edwards, & Matt Cardona. (Full details here.) The main event was hard-hitting. After everyone engaged in a slugfest in the center of the ring, Morrissey turned the tide with a big boot to Edwards. A powerbomb closed the deal as Morrissey pinned Eddie.

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The road to Turning Point is heating up. The big question right now is who will Moose wrestle. He promised the first title shot to Morrissey if they got the job done. Since Morrissey pinned Edwards to win the match, he should be next in line. Now, we have to wonder if Moose will honor his word and also if Scott D’Amore will allow that match to take place. D’Amore seems pretty focused on setting Alexander up for a rematch, but the story could build more and more emotion the longer Alexander has to wait.

Official matches for the Turning Point card include:

• Knockouts Championship: Mickie James (c) vs. Mercedes Martinez
• Knockouts Tag Team Championship: The IInspiration (c) vs. Decay
• X-Division Championship: Trey Miguel (c) vs. Laredo Kid

We’ll close with Chelsea Green battling John Skyler in the #1 contender match for Jordynne Grace’s Impact Digital Media Championship.

Green started with fire on a suicide dive and German suplex. Skyler rallied with a spear. Green picked up steam for a flying dropkick. As Green went for the Unprettier, Skyler countered for a roll-up. He grabbed the ropes to secure the win. Skyler will wrestle Grace next Wednesday (Nov. 10).

Share your thoughts on Impact Wrestling. What was your favorite match? Who stole the show?

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