Impact Wrestling recap & reactions (Jan. 14, 2020): RVD’s creamy celebration, Sami not done with Tessa

Impact Wrestling (Jan. 14, 2020) came with reaction to the Hard to Kill PPV and a mishmash of matches. There were bouts from Dallas and Philadelphia. Tessa Blanchard had an interview about winning the World Championship, and it looks like her feud with Sami Callihan is not over. RVD had a steamy celebration with his girlfriend, his girlfriend’s girlfriend, champagne, and whip cream.

Let’s blitz through the results.

Rascalz (Zachary Wentz & Dezmond Xavier) vs Desi Hit Squad (Rohit & Shera) vs Reno Scum vs TJP & Daga. Four-way from Dallas, TX. This bout had plenty of flippy moves. The finish began with a spinebuster by Luster to Dez. Shera clothesline Luster out of the ring. A big knee from Rohit and an elevated sitdown powerbomb from Shera ended the match for Dez to be pinned by Shera.

Moose proved Rhino’s Gore is irrelevant. Moose is a walking legend and the greatest multi-sport athlete of all time. He will beat Ace Austin, Eddie Edwards, and Fallah Bahh in the show’s main event.

Highlights of the X-Division Championship match between Ace Austin and Trey Miguel at Hard to Kill.

Ace was on the phone with his agent to up his rate for the Wife Swapper franchise. As for the main event, Ace flashed a playing card and said Ace’s up.

Video of Rich Swann’s legitimate leg injury. It felt like his entire leg exploded from the knee down.

Highlights of the Tag Team Championship match between The North and Willie Mack at Hard to Kill. Footage of Mack’s post-match reaction. He was frustrated at letting Swann down. Swann pep-talked Mack to let him know he’s not a failure. Swann is glad to call Mack his partner. When Swann is healthy, they will win the belts. Mack was feeling better.

Eddie Edwards went blow for blow with Michael Elgin and won back his trophy. Edwards’ winning ways will continue in the Philly four-way main event.

Highlights of Eddie Edwards versus Michael Elgin for the Call Your Shot Trophy at Hard to Kill.

Michael Elgin is in Japan. He spent five years there and misses the wrestling, people, culture, and food. He made a promise to himself to accomplish his goals. One goal is retribution against Katsuhiko Nakajima in Pro Wrestling Noah. Elgin is also still focused on Eddie Edwards.

Highlights of RVD versus Cage at Hard to Kill. Highlights of RVD versus Daga too.

Time for RVD’s celebration. He was sitting in bed tearing pedals of roses. There is a reason he’s always celebrating. Every day is a party. That’s how you’re supposed to live. They’re celebrating a huge win over the macho, mechanical, muscle-headed muchacho, Cage. Katie Forbes came in wearing a bikini and jiggling her butt. They popped champagne and Katie Forbes’ girlfriend, Jennifer, joined the party for a threesome kiss. The ladies felt overdressed, so they took off their tops and wore whip cream. RVD had lipstick and whip cream all over his face.

Impact Wrestling

That photo had to be heavily cropped to chop out butt cheeks. Technical difficulties hit when it was time for Rob Van Dick. The screen cut to the best part of IPWF, bearded gigolos dancing with top hats. The clip was on YouTube for a while, but after reports it caused Twitch to suspend Impact’s channel, it’s also been pulled from there, too.

Ken Shamrock was happy he walked out with a win against Madman Fulton at Hard to Kill. The match went how Shamrock thought it would. Fulton was bigger and stronger, but Shamrock was smarter and got in the right positions for submission holds. Shamrock believes Fulton could have a tremendous future if he leaves Sami Callihan. Shamrock hasn’t thought about what’s next for his career.

Words from Johnny Swinger. Young guys don’t want to chase rizats or swap pizills. They only care about games. Swinger is a gamer on pinball. He chatted up a girl to use her joystick skills for his high score.

Johnny Swinger vs Joey Ryan. Grudge match from Dallas. Ryan won after countering a swinging neckbreaker into a dick flip then Sweet Tooth Music.

Highlights of Taya beating Jordynne Grace and ODB in a three-way for the Knockouts Championship at Hard to Kill.

Highlights of Tessa Blanchard winning the Impact World Championship against Sami Callihan at Hard to Kill.

X-Division Championship: Ace Austin vs Moose vs Fallah Bahh vs Eddie Edwards. From House of Hardcore in Philadelphia, PA. The action was fast and furious. Austin retained via super Fold to Bahh.

Tessa Blanchard had a sit-down interview with Josh Matthews.

Over the past 8 months, she has feuded with oVe. She knew who Sami was, but he didn’t know who she was. Without Sami’s boys to back him up, she came out as champ. Tessa doubts the war is over. Sami is probably planning retaliation.

Tessa’s goal is to set goals not accomplished by females before. She will be the hunted as the face of the company. Tessa believes none of this happened by accident. It was always supposed to happen this way. It feels good. It feels right.

Sami flashed on the screen behind them. It is a full blown state of emergency. When he came to Impact, he pumped blood into the promotion’s dead body. Tessa might be the champ you want, but he is the champ everybody needs. Tessa said she would fight him anytime, anywhere. Sami’s camera panned back to show him in the control room. Tessa walked briskly in high heels to find him, but Sami wasn’t there. He flashed on another screen. Sami won’t make it that easy. He will decide the time and place. Tessa will never see him coming.

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For not having much footage in the can, Impact scrapped together an okay episode. Two of the matches were fine, and the other was comedy. I like the forward thinking to film short promos to hype the main event. It shows Impact put thought into this episode. It is something that could have easily been forgotten during a hectic PPV day.

There were two newsworthy segments. Rumors say Impact had their channel pulled from Twitch after the lewd RVD celebration. That seems like a case of bad press being good press. It keeps the Impact name out there. Butts and boobs are enough to entice many wrestling fans to at least keep tabs on RVD segments. I thought the whole celebration was amusing.

Tessa Blanchard’s feud with Sami will roll on. Tessa as a face isn’t working for me. I’m supposed to cheer for her because yay women, but she comes off as smug and arrogant. It’s not necessarily a bad thing. Superstars in real sports often act the same way, and that is part of what made them a success in the first place. The hyper focus needed to become the best doesn’t win friends.

The next Impact will be from Mexico City. There is a two-day taping on January 17 and 18 with talent from AAA. I’m looking forward to watching the luchadores. It will be interesting to see who Tessa wrestles. AAA does mixed action, but the top guys don’t lose to the women. A match like Tessa vs Psycho Clown or Tessa vs Dr. Wagner Jr. would be intriguing, but I don’t see that happening.

If you are yearning for some classic X-Division action, Impact posted Petey Williams vs Chris Sabin vs AJ Styles on their YouTube channel (here). That 2005 bout is arguably the best Ultimate X match in Impact history.

What was your favorite moment from this episode of Impact Wrestling? Did RVD’s celebration go too far? Are you looking forward to more Tessa vs Sami or would you prefer a new feud?

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