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Impact’s latest scheme to get your attention is...

A two hour, out-of-continuity ‘Southpaw Regional Wrestling’-themed holiday show!

courtesy Impact Wrestling

We’ve seen Joey Ryan flip Ken Shamrock with his dong. Their next PPV will be headlined by a dongs-be-damned intergender World title match.

Impact Wrestling would really like fans to give them another shot now that parent company Anthem bought AXS to (among other things) finally give them a permanent U.S. television home. There are a lot of talented people working there in front of the cameras and behind the scenes. The quality of the show has stabilized or improved, depending on who you talk to.

Their latest ploy to get your attention sounds fun. Since they aired on Thursdays during most of their TNA days, Impact’s been goofing off around Thanksgiving. They’re on Tuesdays now, but they’re putting a new twist on the holiday tradition next week.

Here’s the press release and card for Nov. 26’s “Throwback Throwdown”, a two hour, out-of-continuity ‘Southpaw Regional Wrestling’-esque edition of Impact:

Retro Wrestling Comes Alive as IMPACT Wrestling Presents Throwback Throwdown

Special edition of IMPACT! airs Tuesday, Nov. 26 on AXS TV

Jump aboard the time machine as IMPACT Wrestling goes back in time for the inaugural Throwback Throwdown edition of IMPACT!, set to air on Tuesday, Nov. 26, on AXS TV starting at 8 p.m. ET/8 p.m. PT.

IMPACT Wrestling travels back to the early 1980s as the Superstars and Knockouts take center stage at Toronto’s Don Kolov Arena to pay homage to the Golden Age of professional wrestling on this special presentation of IMPACT PROVINCIAL WRESTLING FEDERATION.

This one-night-only edition of IMPACT! showcases the IMPACT Wrestling stars as you’ve never seen them.

The entertaining, fun-filled IMPACT! features the International Commonwealth Television Championship on the line in a Loser Leaves Town match, plus a Blindfold match and a special Bodyslam Challenge. This is pure ‘80s, pure entertainment!

“I’m sure Throwback Throwdown will be talked about for quite some time and perhaps become an annual Thanksgiving week tradition,” said IMPACT Wrestling executive vice-president Scott D’Amore.

Scheduled Matches:

International Commonwealth Television Title - Loser Leaves Town Match

Champion Julian Cumberbun (Ethan Page) vs. Downtown Daddy Brown (Willie Mack)

Blindfold Match

The suplex sultan Gama Singh vs. the rough ‘n’ tumble Cowboy Colt McCoy (Eddie Edwards)

Bodyslam Challenge

Anyone who can bodyslam the wildman Kongo Kong will claim $3,000. Featuring the King of the Great White North Muscles McGee (Brian Cage) and golden boy Mr. Atlantis

8-Person Battle

The hard-charging women of The Rough Riders - Georgia Cobb (Jordynne Grace), Ladybird Johnston (Havok), Mildred Moore (Alexia Nicole) & Blanche Ardmore (Tessa Blanchard) vs. a squad featuring the mighty Ontario oak Tim Burr (Josh Alexander), the man who puts the ‘physical’ in Physical Education Jim Nasium (Dez), the architect of pain Bill Ding (Trey) & race car superstar Ray Strack (Wentz).

Other scheduled matches:

- Gutter punk grappler Rip Rayzer (Ace Austin) vs. pizza boy pugilist Rapid Delivery Pete (Rich Swann)

- Heavyweight heartthrobs The Hard Workers - Oats (Cody Deaner) & Hall (Cousin Jake) vs. the monsters of mayhem Xcessive Force - Pummel (D’Lo Brown) & Plunder (Fallah Bahh)

- IPWF knockout Jazzy Fitbody (Madison Rayne) vs. the siren of suds Agnes Beerheart

- The electrifying debut of the hot newcomer Johnny Swinger

- Special Interview Segment: The Cock Pit with Captain Joystick (Joey Ryan), accompanied by with Miss Mile High (Kiera Hogan); Featuring special guest: DJ 2Large (Moose)

For more information about Throwback Throwdown on AXS TV, visit

This was filmed last month, so spoilers are out there if you just can’t wait. But since it won’t affect what you see this week or Dec. 3, you probably can.

But that doesn’t mean it won’t be fun. Fun enough to get Impact back in the WWE and AEW-dominated wrestling conversation? That’s the question.

Place your bets below.

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