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IMPACT Wrestling results, review, & video (July 12, 2018): Your time has come

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Impact Wrestling returned last night (July 12) from St. Clair College in Windsor, Ontario, Canada. You can find the results at the live blog here.

With only ten days left until Impact Wrestling’s sweet sixteen Slammiversary this week’s episode wasted no time setting up for the big show. Sure there was some filler here and there (ahem KM...), but the focus of the show was the ever steady build to the big PPV event.

Outta Nowhere

The main event this week sprung out of last week’s match-up between Rich Swann and Fenix. Swann joined the Lucha Brothers in a 6-man tornado tag match on their quest to destroy OVE and their stronghold in Impact.

Once all six competitors were in the ring BEFORE the bell even rung the audience began a chant of “this is awesome.”

Now Impact Wrestling has had many a dark time in its 16 year history and frankly lots of wrestling fans refuse to get over their preconceived notions of what Impact Wrestling is all about. But the fact that the main event garnered a ‘this is awesome” chant based solely on the talent literally just standing in the ring is a very good sign for the company. An even better sign is that chant was 100% correct because this match was awesome.

The match began with a face off between the two competitors that will face each other at Slammiversary, Pentagon and Sami Callihan. Penta flashed a Cero Miedo only to be met with a Thumbs Up, Thumbs Down. Unlucky for Penta when he tried once more to show that he had no fear Callihan bit his hand.

Throughout the entire match Callihan continued to showcase his vile side, pairing his bites with his disgustingly viscous spit. It may be gross, but it sure is an effective heel move.

Post bite the match broke out into a flurry of offense from both sides. Callihan and Swann faced off for a bit, followed by an awesome team up of the Lucha Brothers versus the individual Crists. A particularly cool moment was when Petna flipped Fenix into a Mexican destroyer onto Jake Crist! Talk about team work.

Naturally, all this chaos spilled out of the ring creating the perfect opportunity for a little high flying action. Swann dove, Fenix spun and Dave superplexed! An “Impact Wrestling” chant broke out in the crowd.

After the commercial break we rejoined the action in the ring for a series of pile drivers and a flurry of cutters culminating in an epic coast to coast style cutter by Jake Crist on Rich Swann. Randy, eat your heart out.

This was followed by another series of false finishes until Callihan finally managed to hit Swann with a brutal “get out of here” securing the win for OVE.

This match was exciting, had the crowd hyped, and showed a real bright future for Impact.

Hopefully this means because OVE won this week we’re one step closer to a hairless Callihan when Penta defeats him in their Hair vs Mask match on the 22nd.

Undeniably Ballsy

I’m going to be real honest here, I am a Shotzi Blackheart mark. I’ve been fortunate enough to see her wrestle in Chicago for the past year (shout out to Rise Women’s Wrestling) and boy am I excited she is in Impact. Her gimmick of a badass, pizza eating, horror junkie is unique. She backs it up in the ring with solid wrestling skills and a few perfectly bizarre moves of her own. Even her promos are weird and delightful. I love how they sound like cheesy dialogue from a old school B-movie!

Although I didn’t expect Shotzi to win, I was pleasantly surprised that her match with Allie was given a decent amount of time. It gave Shotzi a chance to really show the Impact crowd what she was all about and made her look like a formidable opponent. When Allie eventually won with a code breaker, it made her look even stronger because she just beat a new competitor that put up a hell of a fight.

Too bad for Allie that Tessa doesn’t care about Allie’s rise in the Knockouts division. When Allie was leaving, celebrating her victory, Tessa blindsided her on the entrance ramp. She dragged Allie’s body back into the ring and delivered a devastating hammerlock DDT while screaming “I told you you messed up!”

Following the beat down Tessa called out Allie in a backstage segment promising that she’s “going to teach Allie that dong the right thing was the wrong thing for her.”

It was announced later in the show that Allie and Tessa will be facing each other one-on-one at Slammiversary.

I love this feud. Tessa continues to look strong and Allie continues to be the lovable, but fierce underdog. I’m not sure what will happen post Slammiversary, but for the moment the match-up makes perfect sense.

A Real Simple Message

Look, I really like Austin Aries as the champ, but I’m a little sick and tired of the main title belt on seemingly EVERY SHOW not being the center of attention. Austin hasn't wrestled in weeks and Moose is off god knows where doing god knows what.

Is it too much to ask to see the people in the title picture wrestle? Is it? Honestly, am I asking too much?

I will say that DeAngelo did a good job on the mic (I laughed out loud when he called Aries trash) and he held his own when assaulted by Aries.

I did feel bad for him though, because Aries cut deep with some of his football related jabs.

...I think. I don’t watch football so this segment meant nothing to me.

Oh, and Moose is real mad and is leaving his batcave to face Aries next week. Will either of them wrestle?

Probably not.

Your Time Has Come

In the past couple years Impact has set itself apart from other wrestling shows by investing a good amount of time and resources into their video segments (yes, I know Lucha Underground does it too).

Their style works particularly well when it’s dealing with something strange and supernatural. Well, lucky for them their Knockouts Champion is about as strange and supernatural as it gets.

This week Madison was being interview by Alicia when she was interrupted by some weird sounds. Curious, she ended the interview and followed the sounds (MISTAKE) and found herself surrounded by undead bridesmaids with no where to go!

Madison is not my favorite Knockout as I generally find her pretty bland both in ring and out, but she did a great job playing the mouse to Su’s murder cat.

IS MADISON ALIVE? Is she going to be able to wrestle? Is she a bridesmaid now? Who are the bridesmaids? So many questions! It’s the first time I’ve been excited for their match-up. Nice job, video team.

The OG’s

LAX was no where to be seen this week. In fact, it looks like they’ve been officially kicked out of their club house and replaced with The OG’s.

In the opening segment The OG’s (Homicide and Hernandez) pummeled some jobbers (“We didn’t even get a chance to introduce you to their opponents!”) before King grabbed the mic.

King gave an impassioned speech calling out Konnan “the Old Man” simultaneously thanking him for his service and exposing his manipulative leadership of LAX. He then addressed the tag champs aka “the young boys” challenging them to a 5150 street fight at Slammiversary.

Now although I’m not personally a fan of LAX or the OG’s I will say that this is a pretty compelling story they’ve built. Old Guard vs New Guard - classic.

King and Konnan can go toe to toe on the mic and Ortiz and Satanna always deliver in the ring. Let’s just hope Homicide and Hernandez can keep up with “the young boys.”

All the Rest

  • Some might say that Matt Sydal is out matched by Cage, but those people have their third eyes closed.
  • Eli Drake can’t believe that a girl like Katarina would like a guy like Grado. In fact, he seems to think Katarina is into Joe Hendry...
  • We were teased with a Bond inspired video package for a new Knockout, but who will it be?
  • Killer Kross would like one Mr. Peter Williams to know that he is going to “squeeze the oxygen out of his skull.”
  • KM & Fallah Bahh are set to try this tag team thing one more time, but if the Desi Hit Squad has anything to say about it, it’ll be for the last time.

The fallout from last week’s solid show continued into this week. Sprinkle in a litter horror from our Knockouts Champion for flavor and an epic cutter in the main event for panache and you’ve got yourselves a show worth of tweeting about!

Grade: A-

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