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Impact Wrestling results, review, & video (June 7, 2018): Last House on the Left

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Impact Wrestling returned last night (June 7) from the Impact Zone in Orlando, Florida. You can find all the results at the live blog here.

Last House on the Left

In Lucha Underground, Sami Callihan, who goes by Jeremiah Crane in that promotion, is billed from the Last House on the Left.

For those who don’t know, The Last House on the Left is an old Wes Craven film where a girl is killed by a gang. That gang then poises as salesmen to stay the night at the house of the parents whose daughter they just murdered. However the parents figure out what they did and torture and murder the members of the gang rather brutally.

I bring that up since I found the connection between that movie being where Sami Callihan is billed from and his involvement in this story interesting. Because that’s kind of the direction Eddie Edwards is here. Eddie is the victim of Sami’s horrible attacks. But in the end, he’s the one who’s taken his revenge to a sick new level.

In their fight in the woods, the Crist brothers played the part of the mini-bosses before Eddie could face big boss Sami. And Eddie had no problem choking them out. He seemed to revel in it. When he choked out Dave Crist, he slammed the trunk of his car on his torso. He didn’t need to. He wanted to.

He and Sami had a brief, but brutal brawl. It was short and it needed to be given this format. This was all about illustrating how far Eddie has gone off the deep end. Spending too much time with the two of them fighting would have left the segment dragging.

Edwards tossed Callihan against a tree and then busted him open with an object (which I couldn’t tell exactly what it was). He shouted “Time to die” when Alisha Edwards and Tommy Dreamer drove up, pleading with Eddie to stop this. They implored him to give this up, telling him it was over.

But Eddie only has tunnel vision. He turned around, but Sami was gone and Edwards was livid. When Tommy tried to calm him down, Eddie shoved the bat into his gut and stormed off, leaving Alisha to tend ot Dreamer.

This was solid. It wasn’t about the fight and it never should have been. It was all about showing that Eddie has become a villain. They showed close ups of his crazy eyes when he was choking out a Crist brother or when he was busting Callihan wide open. They camera shots were almost out of a horror movie, bringing us back to The Last House on the Left.

Now they need to move it to the next phase of this story. Eddie is fully crazed now. Let’s get to what’s next regarding that. Is it a feud with Dreamer? Is it now trying to get him back to the side of light? His feud with Callihan should be pretty much over. The story is Eddie’s darkness now.


The Fact of Life

Eli Drake returned with his Fact of Life talk show, and this time he ran down the top five dummies in Impact Wrestling (the fans, Austin Aries, management, the fans, Moose). Eli Drake is a silver tongued devil, but these segments need a hotter or better mic’d crowd. And unfortunately, these episodes taped in the Zone, especially ones later in the taping like this one, have pretty dead crowds. So Eli’s clever lines often fall on deaf ears. Perhaps that’s why the fans landed on his dummies list twice.

Apparently, #1 dummie Moose is facing Drake next week with the winner heading to Slammiversary to face Austin Aries for the title. Moose interrupted the Fact of Life and reminded Eli that Drake lost both the tag titles and failed his world title match recently. Drake delivered a cheap shot and, with aid of a low blow, the Gravy Train before dropping his podium on the big man.

My bet is Moose is going to take this match next week, becoming #1 contender. Otherwise, it’ll be a heel vs. heel match with Aries vs. Drake, which we’ve seen already. That’s fine, though I’ve mentioned before that I don’t look at Moose as a top guy/world champ. He’s very talented but he’s missing something that keeps me from saying “This man is the guy.” Maybe it’s his average promo work. Maybe it’s just a subtle lack of charisma.

And with so few PPVs, you want the world title match to be between two guys who feel like they could be the guy. I’ll admit I’m getting ahead of myself a bit here. The match hasn’t happened and even if Moose does win (which I really think he will), then they’ll have a month to make Moose feel like a legit top guy who could take the belt from Aries.


D-Bag Sydal is Back!

Next week, Cage will face Matt Sydal for the X Division title. It was announced that it would happened “at one point” last week. This week we learned that point is seven days from now.

Cage had a match squash against Rohit Raju. Post match, Sydal interrupted and finally got to cut a promo. For weeks, I’ve lamented that the X Division champion hasn’t been showing his heel side enough. He hasn’t been cutting annoying promos and he’s been winning clean, two very unheelish things.

This week’s promo reinforced how much of a douche Sydal could be. He told the Machine that when he looked at him through his third eye, he sees an inner weakness. But Matt can help Cage overcome that. All Cage needs to do is forego his title match and stand by his side.

Yeah, no.

Cage F5’d Sydal right out of the ring.

This match has little build but just one obnoxious promo from Sydal did the trick. Not only did he talk up the obnoxious spiritual aspect of his character, but he also tried to scheme his way out of having to defend his title against the imposing Cage. Just fantastic heeling. Of course, the imposing babyface saw through this BS and gave us a taste of what he may be able to do to Sydal next week.


King vs. Diamante

LAX finally got off the snide with a win over the Cult of Lee. They had Eddie Kingston, who is simply known as King now, in their corner. That was enough to reverse their fortunes.

The match was entertaining. While these are two very athletic teams, there weren’t moves that felt like they were performed just to be flashy. They integrate their athleticism to a match between teams we know don’t like each other. It felt like they wanted to win more than show off.

The most intriguing part of all this wasn’t the match, but the moment in the clubhouse prior. Diamante finally returned and immediately questioned King’s intentions to Santana and Ortiz. She felt it was quite coincidental that Konnan and Homicide go down and then Kingston showed up. King then entered the room, and they shared an awkward fist bump.

We’ve got some intrigue here, folks. Diamante, who I’m glad is finally back and healed up, immediately pointed out something that the floundering Santana and Ortiz were too concerned with their own problems to see. And come to think of it, King really does seem like a scumbag. This plot tweak gives us something to watch for as LAX moves forward.


Aries interview

Austin Aries was interviewed by Josh Mathews via Skype.

I don’t know why they went with the Skype format. Maybe they decided recently that they wanted something to fill the episode that was more story related than an old match or a match taped elsewhere. But quality wise it wasn’t great. There were the cracks and breaks in the audio that come with a poor connection.

Content wise, it continued to establish Aries as a heel and likely give his upcoming feud with Moose (probably) some fuel. While he wouldn’t say who he wanted to win, when asked who he thought would win, he said Eli Drake. The champ didn’t think Moose had that mental toughness. It felt like a line that would be where the feud starts or built around.

Aries kind of made the points I made earlier. He said that Moose hasn’t proved himself and that he may not have what it takes. This could mean that they’re going to use those aspects of Moose to try to build him up, which would be a wise way to go.

But we’ll have to wait and see. Moose still needs to win next week first.


Flippy Stuff

The tag champs Z & E (DJZ & Andrew Everett) retained their tag titles against Drago and Aerostar. The match was very flippy and movez oriented if that’s your thing. It’s not so much mine. Even Don Callis made the point on commentary that these guys will perform a move just to show off and not try to win. That’s a good summation why these matches don’t do it for me like they do others.


Pros of the Show:

  • Douchebag Sydal against the unstoppable Cage
  • Eddie is insane
  • Drake’s Face of Life promo was fun

Cons of the Show:

  • The Skype interview felt bush league quality wise
  • Crowd was weak for most of the Fact of Life (and kind of in general)
  • The tag title match felt it was more about moves than winning

The first hour of this show was a bit more filler oriented, which happens at the latter portion of tapings. But pacing wise, the second half picked up. The show otherwise had some good stuff and some stuff I could leave.

Grade: B-

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