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Impact Wrestling Results, Live Blog (Mar. 15, 2018): Feast or Fired

@ImpactWrestling

Impact Wrestling is back tonight (Mar. 15) from Orlando, Florida and will be airing on Pop TV at 8 PM EST. This is your spot for the live updates and to talk about it with your fellow fans.

This week Impact will host Feast or Fired, where competitors will fight for one of four briefcases, three with title shots and one with a pink slip. Plus, Rosemary will take on Taya Valkyrie, Sami Callihan will fight Fallah Bahh, Matt Sydal will reveal his spiritual guru, and there’s an exclusive interview with Champion Austin Aries.

We'll be here at 8 EST when Impact starts, so come join us!


Results

JB is backstage with those competing for the Feast or Fired cases. Does he grab one?

EC3, Cult of Lee, Moose, Tyrus, KM, Hakim Zane, and Petey Williams were all with him.

Sami Callihan vs. Fallah Bahh

oVe is with Sami of course.

All Fallah Bahh early on. Sami has no answer for his size.

Fallah tries to step on him and Sami grabs his foot and bites it! Whatever it takes to get the advantage.

Callihan can’t keep the bigger man down forever though. He tries for some chops and they do no damage.

Bahh climbs to the top for a Bonzai Drop but Callihan kicks his leg! Then the other! He runs under the big man and picks him up onto his shoulders! Death Valley Driver! 1-2-3!

Callihan def. Bahh

oVe isn’t done. As Bahh is leaving, they attack him, put him in the ring, and set up the chair on the big man! Callihan has the bat... but here’s Eddie Edwards! Edwards makes the save!

Weird: Mathews said that Eddie will face Jeremiah Crane at WrestleCon instead of using the name Calliahn.

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We see a video of Matt Sydal talking about introducing us all to his spirit guide tonight.

Sonjay Dutt and Josh Mathews set up some bits in their green screen room.

They play bits of an old Feast or Fired match.

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Sit down interview with Austin Aries and McKenzie Mitchell

They start with talking about his book and him talking his Veganism when Alberto El Patron interrupts saying he really needs to talk to Aries.

McKenzie Mitchell leaves and Patron takes her place. Patron is being all friendly and says he likes Austin as champion more than that paper champion Eli Drake. He says he has a gift for him for winning the championship.

A cart is rolled in with wine and steak. Patron tries to get him to eat the steak but Aries politely declines and says he has a banana. Alberto asks if he’s purposely disrespecting him. This goes on a bit until Alberto picks up the entire piece of steak and dangles it in front of the champ’s face. Aries knocks it out of his hand, knocking Patron into the chair.

Patron sees the book and pretends to not know Aries is vegan. He says he’ll buy one of the books, actually two, and Austin says that’s not necessary. He’s making the champions purse now so he’s good with money, and then asks Patron if he remembers what that feels like.

Patron looks angry but then smiles and leaves.

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Kiera Hogan congratulates Allie for winning the title back stage. Kiera is as bubbly as Allie. Braxton Sutter rolls in, asking Allie if they can talk. The KOs champ says she needs some alone title and leaves.

Jimmy Jacobs calls out Abyss again

Jimmy Jacobs and Kongo Kong come down to the ring. Jacobs calls out Abyss for the final time. He doesn’t get Abyss but he gets Father James Mitchell!

Mitchell is kind to Jacobs and says he’s been following him for years. In fact, he reminds him of himself. Mitchell says he’s also a monster fan and he calls Kong one of the most impressive. And he’d try to take him if he didn’t have one of his own.

He said he made a Faustian pact to make his son, Abyss, and they won titles. But the pact was due and Abyss broke, becoming Joseph Park. And he lost what was most important to him: His Monster, His Son.

Mitchell warns Jimmy that he’ll have to pay the piper himself. Because Jacobs poked the wrong bear. But he’s not here to harass Jimmy. He’s here to thank him. Because Jacobs’ awakened the beast and his monster is back.

And out comes Abyss! And he goes right at the Monster Kong! He clotheslines Kong out of the ring and Jimmy stands in front of him, laughing!

Mitchell has the last word, telling he’s got two tickets in their names for the ball next week: The Monster’s Ball!

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They play a nice long video preparing the Taya/Rosemary match, which is next.

Taya Valkyrie vs. Rosemary

Rosemary starts out hot as can be. But she misses a corner shoulder tackle and Taya takes over.

The crowd is firmly behind the Demon Assassin and they give Valkyrie a good booing when she mocks them for it.

Taya ties up Rosemary’s legs as if setting up for an STU but then pulls her arms back and kicks her down. She tries to follow up with a Moonsault but Rosemary moves, and she’s back in this.

Rosemary knocks Taya out of the ring. The referee starts the count. Taya is about to break it but Rosemary pulls her back to continue fighting and it ends in double count out.

Match ends in double count out

The fight continues up the ramp. It looks like Rosemary was trying to spear Taya off the stage but Lucha Royalty side steps... Road to Vallahala on the stage!

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We get an Eli Drake sighting! He’s on his cell phone back stage calling someone who didn’t pick up. So he tries the landline. He’s calling Chris [Adonis I assume]. Eli is clearly confused by what Adonis is telling him. Apparently Adonis isn’t coming and doesn’t want part of the match because he doesn’t want to get fired. Drake says he’ll do itself and tells Adonis that he’s fired instead.

EC3 is interviewed by McKenzie Mitchell. He says he knows which case is the catalyst for his future. Power, glory, a return to where he belongs, champion.

They announce that Aries vs. Patron is official for Redemption. They also announce Allie vs. Sienna for next week. I didn’t know Sienna was cleared to wrestle.

They play a video from earlier today of Lashley coming up to Brian Cage. He’s not happy that Cage is telling people he saved Lashley last week. Bobby says he doesn’t need nor want his help. Lashley said if he wants to fight, they can get into the ring and fight. That’s how to make a name around here. Cage just gets up and looks at him before leaving.

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LAX is backstage, including Homicide, who brought a briefcase of what I assume is money. Konnan thinks it may be short.

Matt Sydal reveals his spiritual adviser

Sydal comes to the ring. He introduces his one true spirit guide - Josh Mathews!

Guru Mathews first tells the crowd “Shut up, I’m enlightened now!” Then he tells them Matt Sydal is center. His chi is centered. He then tells the crowd to put their hands to try to center their chi too... they just give him “Delete!” chants. One guy crisply shouts “I hate you, Josh! I hate you!”

Guru Mathews says he has a gift for Sydal and presents him with a box. It’s a weird looking mask! “It’s my spirit animal!” Sydal exclaims. He tells his Spirit Guide that if he’s a champion, so is he.

He gives him the Grand Championship!

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Feast or Fired

Sonjay is calling it alone.

Eli Drake, Petey Williams, KM, EC3, Cult of Lee, Rohit Raju, Tyrus, and Taiji Ishimori are all in the ring.

Petey Williams has a fun moment in there with Ishimori and Raju.

Petey Williams grabs case #2.

Moose grabs case #4 after kicking EC3 down from that turnbuckle.

Josh Mathews back on commentary.

EC3 grabs case #3 after low blowing Tyrus and stepping over him to grab it

Carter hits Tyrus over the head with it before leaving.

Eli Drake delivers three Gravy Trains while fighting for the final case. Trevor Lee goes up to grab the final case while Konley distracts Drake. But Konley gets tossed out of the ring and Drake suplexes Lee off the ropes and grabs the case.

Eli Drake grabs Case #1

You’ll have to wait until next week for the opening. Just the mess of the match to close the show.

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That’s the show, folks. Thanks for watching with us!