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Cageside ‘reviews’ Money Plane, starring Edge

A flick called Money Plane just landed on all the various streaming platforms where you can rent and buy movies. It stars WWE Hall of Famer Adam “Edge” Copeland, and because of that there was a pretty substantial effort to market it to wrestling websites like the one you’re on right now.

You can probably tell from the name, but Money Plane is inspired by the kinds of 1990s action movies that starred Nicholas Cage and/or John Travolta. That was certainly the vibe of the trailer, which got the gang at the Cageside “offices” (a Slack channel) pretty darn excited to check it out. So excited in fact that a couple of us convinced ourselves it was coming out June 10 rather than July 10. We’ve been working ourselves into a frenzy over it for a month.

Last night, we shelled out our hard earned cash and settled in for 82 minutes with The Rated R Superstar, Kelsey Grammer, Thomas Jane, and the Lawrence brothers.

Yep, it’s Joey Lawrence’s brother Andrew’s debut as a writer/director. The former Blossom star has a prominent role as the concierge of the titular flying casino; third brother Matthew could have stolen the show in a bad wig & fake mustache as gambler J.R. Crockett if Grammer wasn’t having so much fun chewing scenery as main bad guy Darius “Rumble” Grouch III.

The broad strokes of the plot are that Rumble purchased a large debt Edge’s Jack Reese, a high stakes gambler & master thief, owes to some other baddies. He uses it to force him to rob the Money Plane, an aerial den of inequity that only flies in “international airspace” so it can evade authorities.

Or something. You really don’t want to spend too much time trying to make sense of anything that happens in Money Plane. Because little of it does.

Anyway, Edge gets his crew together, and enlists his buddy Harry to protect his wife (played by Denise Richards) and daughter from Rumble. Harry is Jane’s character, a former Air Force Major General who now “has this thing about planes” - but neither of those factoids is explained or terrible relevant.

Once Jack and his crew get aboard, we get a little taste of how the Money Plane operates. There’s Texas Hold ‘Em, Russian Roulette and “themed adventures”. Those are little snuff films where wagers are placed on how long people will live in different scenarios; they’re thrown in to let us know how evil the folks on the Money Plane are. Then there’s a not terribly exciting heist, and the prerequisite double and triple cross plots are explained while Edge Skypes with Jane and Grammer from the cockpit.

Money Plane shoots for “so bad it’s good” territory, but mostly doesn’t commit enough to make it work. Maybe if Lawrence had a bigger budget we would have gotten the fully realized bat$#!+ crazy movie that the trailer made it seem like we were getting. Alas.

That’s not to say there’s not fun to be had. It works really well as a playground for MST3K-style smart-assery. Which is why we thought we’d share with you the conversation Sean Rueter, Cain A. Knight, and Kyle Decker had in our “offices” this morning after individually watching Money Plane last night.

Fair warning, there are some spoilers within, and a few jokes that won’t make sense until you see Money Plane. But we cracked ourselves up, and think showing you how fun it is to laugh at the movie is probably the best way to convince you to watch it.


Sean: Here’s my elevator pitch... if you want to see a guy get his ears ripped off and the worst CGI piranha attack in movie history, watch Money Plane.

Kyle: That wasn’t as bad as the hallway fight though.

Sean: You’ll have to be more specific. I think the entire movie was shot in a hallway

Kyle: True. I’m referring to the one where the two a-hole dudes finally get it.

The two a-hole dudes, as if you couldn’t tell

Sean: Ah yes. Still not even clear on why those guys were trying to stop Edge’s team, but that’s low on the list of plot holes/logic flaws.

Cain: Edge was in a cockpit pretending to fly a plane for like 70% of the movie.

What Edge does for most of Money Plane’s runtime

Sean: As the view never changed out the cockpit window. I think Money Plane cost $75 to make, and 50 of those dollars went to Kelsey Grammer and Thomas Jane.

Kyle: Yeah, the fact that Edge sat down in the same spot for half the movie blew my mind.

Cain: Yeah, definitely budget issues here.

Kyle: Kelsey Grammer was the best part of the movie.

Sean: His pre-credits expository speech is probably the only thing I’d ever rewatch.

LEGEND

Kyle: I have a theory that they shot it at his house. That he agreed to do the movie but didn’t have to actually leave his home.

Sean: Explains why he was so worried about the terra cotta.

Cain: Edge’s heist team pretty much relies on the woman to kill everyone and do all the hard work.

Isabella, very proud of that human trafficker she killed last June in Moscow

Kyle: Given the quality of most of the movie, I’m surprised the acting overall, especially with the main characters, was pretty good. I mean it felt like Edge was playing Edge in this situation, but no one was groan inducing when it came to the main cast.

Sean: The hacker guy was pretty bad - McGillicutty.

Trey/McGillicutty, communicating with Edge about a hack

Cain: They should have known it was a setup when Rumble gave him that phony name.

Kyle: I didn’t really notice. His role was so outrageous though. I think the biggest issue with a movie that is kind of trying to be so bad it’s good is that it was way too light on the action and sometimes just boring.

Sean: All I know is Money Plane management should cut the cobra and piranha budget and hire a few more security guards. Everybody’s just wandering around the casino.

Kyle: Yeah, no one cares what is going on on that plane. They had free rein to go wherever the hell they felt.

Cain: To be fair, “expendable ears” is a pretty tough job requirement for security guards to fulfill.

Sean: I also know Jericho better not push Matt Hardy too far, because apparently all you have to do is duct tape a gun to Vanguard 1 and it becomes a killing machine.

This drone deserved to have its name on the poster more than Thomas Jane did

Kyle: That was the stuff that fit my ‘So ridic I enjoyed it’ requirement.

Cain: I definitely laughed out loud multiple times, at how ridiculous certain scenes were. Overall I was surprised at just how bad the movie was. Because I’m a fool. I should’ve known they would stick Edge in one cramped spot for more than half the movie.

Kyle: I cracked up the first minute of the movie when they threw “Art Museum” up as the graphic without any further detail of the location.

Edge conning his way into the world famous ‘Art Museum’

Sean: That told you everything you needed to know about the movie. When they skipped the fight scene at the “museum” with their little editing trick there, I knew for sure what I was dealing with.

Kyle: Yeah, they really needed some money for a halfway decent fight coordinator.

Sean: Even if you want to be a parody of an action movie, you need some action.

Kyle: Yeah, good, or even halfway decent, action scenes have saved many an action flick. This was more of a thought experiment about how to get through a Money Plane situation.

Cain: You mean the co-pilot fight didn’t do it for you, huh?

Kyle: There was no snapped neck like the trailer promised me.

Sean: That was probably my favorite fight. But that might be because I literally said “so there’s no co-pilot?” right before the guy stood up and Edge said “co-pilot”.

Kyle: It was the only hand-to-hand fight that was really that decent. I put gun/drone fights in a different category because they’re easier to do.

Sean: The gun fight stuff was right out of a SyFy movie like Sharknado.

Kyle: Yeah, and again, I was okay with a SyFy-style action movie.

Cain: Not the best heist team ever, that’s for sure.

Kyle: I thought it was going to be a running gag that she kept putting the bodies in the same closet or bathroom, but they stopped at two.

Sean: My favorite thing might have been how they parachuted out into pitch blackness.

Cain: They didn’t even have the budget to let me see Akira Tozawa’s ninjas finish off Kelsey Grammer at the end.

Kyle: What I’m wondering about is why they cast Denise Richards for a role literally any actress could have done. Maybe she’s friends with the Lawrences or something.

Sean: That Wild Things money’s gone and people aren’t exactly breaking down her door with offers.

Kyle: Yeah but she likely carries a higher price tag.

Sean: She only had to be on set for like ten minutes I bet.

Kyle: But probably had to leave her house unlike K-Gram.

Sean: I don’t know, all her scenes could have been at her house - she was in like a living room, a bedroom and a backyard.

Denise Richards, quite possibly in Denise Richards’ house

Kyle: That’s true.

Sean: She’s never around when Tom Jane is, so they weren’t on the same set.

Kyle: Probably because he’s at his house.

Sean: We need to get an answer from Edge, “So did the Lawrence’s just drive you around to the name actors’ houses?”


So we recommend Money Plane... as long as you figure out a way to riff on it with some friends while or shortly after you watch it. Find it wherever digital movies are available for sale or rent.


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