Tweets of the Week: Breakfast with Taya, Johnny Impact’s shotgun, Scarlett Bordeaux’s elephant, more!

It’s time again for some Sunday silliness with the Tweets of the Week. It will feature random stuff not really worthy of their own specific write-up. The focus will be on the three B’s: bods, beasts, and buffoonery.

Oh, some of these might not be from this week nor be tweets. Who cares. Enjoy it anyway.

This go around will mostly be in honor of Impact Wrestling’s big show tonight, Rebellion.

I’m sure there are plenty of Cagesiders that went to sleep last night much like these pups from Davey Boy Smith Jr., except it wasn’t milk being drunk.

After all that drinking, it is time to wake up for a tasty breakfast.

Taya may be Jordynne Grace’s worst nightmare when they compete for Knockouts gold, but it was another of Taya’s rivals, Tessa Blanchard, that was having questionable visions during slumber.

I can’t tell if bacon inside a Corona is a dream or a nightmare. There’s only one way to find out. I’ll report back on my findings next week.

Taya’s husband will be defending his Impact world title against Cage. Johnny Impact may have revealed his strategy while wrestling in Alaska.

Do shotguns work against machines? If Cage is outnumbered during the bout...

He may have to call in help from the Machine’s Angels.

Cage was goofing around by paying homage to a classic Andre the Giant pose (here and here), but that is a faction I’d actually love to see. Perhaps Impact can write a story reason for Cage, Melissa Santos, Tessa Blanchard, and Kiera Hogan to all run wild as a unit on Johnny Impact and Taya.

If you ever doubted Cage’s true strength, then be amazed with his heavy for thee but not for me routine with a mime-like assist from Ricochet.

The Lucha Bros will also be on the Rebellion card defending their tag team belts in Full Metal Mayhem against LAX. Fenix and Pentagon are riding a wave of momentum after winning the Fight Club: Pro tag team invitational cup in Manchester, England.

I love the jubilation displayed in that photo. It is contagious.

Scarlett Bordeaux is scheduled to have a live Smokeshow. I know who I want as her guest.

That elephant would be sweet. No, I don’t mean Killer Kross. I want that actual elephant. If not the pachyderm, then I’ll be hoping for this pugilistic puss.

As a check-in from last week’s tweets, I joked that Stu Bennett (aka Wade Barrett) used a big S on bringing Sexy back as a reference to bringing “Big Sexy” Kevin Nash to the UK. Well, it turns out that Kevin Nash is indeed making an appearance over there.

I apparently have the power to control the universe through the use of lame jokes on a wrestling website. Enjoy Impact’s Rebellion, while I try to figure out what should be forced into existence in next week’s Tweets of the Week. Any suggestions?