Friday is here and you're probably counting down the clock until the weekend. Let's goof around a little to make time fly faster by casting wrestlers past and present in the roles of movies, TV shows, and other media.
The Conor McGregor vs Floyd Mayweather mega-fight is scheduled to take place this weekend. The Money Belt is on the line. It has the potential to become the most lucrative fight in history. With that in mind, let’s look at the box office booming boxing franchise, Rocky.
Fluff the casting couch cushions, and let's get busy.
Rocky Balboa played by Diamond Dallas Page
Rocky and DDP have alot in common. Both were meatballs. Rocky was a loan shark collection goon, and DDP ran a nightclub. Both say, "Yo." "Yo, Adrian!" and "Yo! It's me, it's me, it's DDP!" Both came from nowhere to become champ. Both lost the title to the next big thing. Clubber Lang and David Arquette. Both became inspirational. Rocky helped end the Cold War with his speech, "Everybody can change." DDP Yoga has helped change the lives of many.
Apollo Creed played by Randy Savage
Continuing with the Rocky and DDP career comparison, Apollo Creed was Rocky's shot at the big time. A feud with Randy Savage was DDP's shot at stardom.
Pro Wrestling Illustrated named them as Greatest Rivalry of 1997. I'm sure Rocky and Apollo would have won an equivalent award from boxing journalists in their fictional world.
Both Creed and Savage were charismatic showmen with great swagger and a penchant for silly outfits. Plus, both have iconic entrance music.
Clubber Lang played by Scott Steiner
Clubber Lang was a prime piece of beef with unhinged intensity. Lang has plenty of wild quotes. I was debating who to cast in the role, then I heard the following outburst.
"Hey, woman. Hey, woman. Listen here. Since your old man ain't got no heart, maybe you like to see a real man. I bet you stay up late every night dreamin' you had a real man, don't ya? I'll tell you what. Bring your pretty little self over to my apartment tonight, and I'll show you a real man."
That sounds like a standard Scott Steiner promo. The big bad booty daddy would turn Adrian into one of his freaks of which he has nine days a week. She would know that she wouldn’t have to wait for the Earth to rotate on a 47 degree axis for the stars to create an equinox to see the Big Dipper.
Ivan Drago played by Ivan Putski
Most importantly, both are named Ivan. In addition to that, both have accents and are considered one of the most powerful men in their respective sport. I'd like to imagine that Drago eventually loosened up after the Rocky fight and found a fondness for squat dancing, much like Putski enjoyed polka dancing.
Fandango and Tyler Breeze as Paulie and the robot
In Rocky IV, Paulie was gifted a robot for his birthday. Breeze is a master of disguise, so he should have no problem playing the robot's different personalities. Imagining those two acting out those scenes cracks me up.
Which wrestlers would you cast in the roles of Rocky? Include any characters not yet mentioned, like Mickey or Thunderlips. Don't hesitate to think outside the box, like Braun Stowman as Juno. If all else fails, do as I do. Cast Breezango. They've shown the range to play any role.
If you have any requests for future casting calls, please mention them in the comments. Thanks.