As wrestling fans, we're all suckers for a good surprise, and arguably bigger suckers for a big reveal. Whether something is teased for a few hours or a few months, if something's unknown, we want it known. We want all that time we vested into waiting for this big moment to be well worth it.
And then sometimes you get your soul crushed.
This countdown is dedicated to those soul-crushing reveals that question your sanity as a wrestling fan.
But what is the worst reveal in wrestling history?
Last week, we asked you, the Cageside Galaxy, and surely enough, you've brought us your worst. With that, here are...
the 20 worst reveals in wrestling history.
as voted by you, the Cagesiders. So don't blame me if the list falls short of your expectations.
20. They're here.
In the summer of 2010, Abyss was... to say the least, out of control, what with him beating people within an inch of their lives with his nail-covered 2x4 "Janice" and taking Impact Zone "cast members" hostage. It's not like he wanted to do it; this overseeing power known as "THEY" were telling him to, and "THEY" were coming at TNA's signature show, Bound for Glory, on October 10. So... 10/10/10. And when "THEY" arrive, TNA is doomed.
On 10/10/10, "THEY" arrived. To the surprise of no one, it was Hulk Hogan, Eric Bischoff, and Jeff Jarrett (with Hogan and Bischoff actually having ownership of TNA signed over to them by Dixie Carter three days earlier when she thought she was signing Abyss' walking papers). To the surprise of most everyone, "THEY" included Jeff Hardy. I'll spot them that; that was shocking.
Why was it a bad reveal? Most everyone who followed TNA even on a casual level figured out that Hogan and Bischoff would turn heel and be paired up at some point. Basically the only people on the planet that didn't figure it out were TNA's babyfaces, who were dumber than Sting-level dumb. And speaking of Sting, he and Kevin Nash knew the whole time this was going down, yet they did absolutely nothing to stop it. Way to make the good guys look like complete, incompetent morons.
But what clinches this awful reveal is this post-show pic:
No, that is not a Photoshop. This sign actually existed. TNA in 2010 in a single picture.
19. Kevin Nash texted himself.
The number of ways the WWE ruined the Summer of Punk could be its own post (one I might work on one day, but I kinda wanna block that era out of my head, thanks), but at or near the top of the list is the conspiracy that surrounded said Summer of Punk is one Kevin Scott Nash.
At the end of Summerslam 2011, after CM Punk defeated John Cena in an undisputed WWE Championship match (with a very disputed finish), Kevin Nash emerged from the crowd and jackknife powerbombed CM Punk. Moments later, Alberto Del Rio emerges, cashes in his recently-won Money in the Bank, and became WWE Champion.
The next night, we found out that Nash was on orders from someone to "stick the winner". One week later, we found out who it was that gave the orders.
Why was it a bad reveal? Where do we begin on this one? Kevin Nash swiped Triple H's cell phone and sent a text to himself? Who even does that? It lowered CM Punk's standing in the storyline he was supposed to be the star in to say... #5. Maybe even #6, behind John Cena, Triple H, Nash, and John Laurinaitis... who according to Nash in a 2012 interview with PWTorch, was originally pegged as the man behind the deed:
"It would have been Johnny [Laurinaitis]. It would have been Johnny trying to end around and me trying to say that Paul had changed because he was a blue blood now and he wasn't Clique. He was in the McMahon threshold. We were going to get a Johnny Ace clique of guys to try to take over control of the company, that's when Vince would have gotten fired, and then we would have been after Paul and try to take control of the company. You know, good storyline."
That at least would have made a lick of sense, but because Nash never got medical clearance to wrestle (Nash was to face CM Punk), the story went even more off the rails than it already had. And it never recovered. Hell, some would argue Punk never recovered.
18. Triple H has a plan B.
Debuting at the 2012 Survivor Series, Dean Ambrose, Roman Reigns, and Seth Rollins, that riot squad known as The Shield, were a force of nature. Nearly every three-man unit put against them went down. Sometimes they would take down teams double, triple, even quadruple their size. But their magnum opus came in the spring of 2014 when in a span of three consecutive PPVs, they defeated Kane and the New Age Outlaws in under three minutes (at Wrestlemania, no less), beat a reunited Evolution, and beat said reunited Evolution again in an elimination match 3-0.
Batista, who clearly did not come back for this, decided, screw it, I'm out of here. Evolution was in tatters, and Triple H needed a new plan to combat this menace.
Et tu, Seth Rollins?
Why is this a bad reveal? Isn't it obvious? They only broke up the second hottest act in wrestling in recent memory behind Daniel Bryan, who had recently gone out with what turned out to be a career-ending concussion. Maybe this was a "no worlds left to conquer scenario". But let's be honest: are any of these three better off since the split?
You can argue that two of the three are; Seth Rollins won Money in the Bank a month after the breakup and became WWE Champion at Wrestlemania 31, but he's among the least-watched world champions in WWE history. Roman is the current champion of course, but he's a more polarizing champion than John Cena ever was, and that was nigh impossible to do. Nobody can argue Dean is better post-Shield. Nobody.
17. The Spider Lady is really The Fabulous Moolah.
On November 25, 1985, Wendi Richter, 150 pounds of twisted steel and sex appeal, defended the WWF Womens Championship against a masked Spider Lady. Though Richter got the jump on the mysterious challenger, the Spider was able to entrap Richter in a small package, and despite Richter clearly kicking out at one, referee Dick Kroll counted three. The Spider Lady is the new women's champion.
Immediately, Richter saw something amiss. She went after the Spider's mask, and out came the familiar mane of The Fabulous Moolah.
Why is it a bad reveal? Where do I begin on this one? Moolah, for lack of a better word, has always been a scumbag (for more on this, read this excellent three-part series by Flashking on women's wrestling as it is presented here versus how it was presented in Japan). Moolah basically had an iron grip on women's wrestling in the united states for nearly 30 years, then along came Wendi (the best I can describe Wendi to the younger folks is think Trish Stratus if she was a glamour model, had a Southern accent, and had a seriously 80s hairdo). Thanks to her hanging out with pop singer Cyndi Lauper, Richter became the most popular woman in all of wrestling by a considerable margin.
And that was a problem with Moolah. When I said she controlled women's wrestling, she CONTROLLED it. She would take a portion of their pay, take their bookings, even take their spots. And because she worked for Vince McMahon Sr., she had job security with Vince Jr. Eventually, Vince had to make a choice: go with the popular Richter, or go with the long-tenured Moolah. The choice was made easier when Richter, who was criminally underpaid in proportion to her popularity (in fact, her biggest payday was just $5,000 for the original Wrestlemania despite being in the second biggest match on the show; by comparison, the main event participants on the same show each got $50,000), decided to not agree right away on a new contract just weeks before the show.
Back to November 25. Moolah was in Madison Square Garden where the match took place. It was Moolah's day off, and if Moolah didn't have a match that day, she wasn't there. Wendi immediately knew something was about to go down. And it did. Wendi got screwed out of the women's title, predating the events of Montreal by a full 12 years.
Understandably, Wendi was pissed. In fact, she was so pissed, she grabbed her bag and left not only the Garden, but the WWF altogether. It's a miracle the WWE and Wendi repaired their relationship a quarter century later.
16. John Cena is drafted to Smackdown... then back to RAW.
Since the decision was made to split WWE's then larger-than-ever roster in half in 2002, the company held nearly-annual drafts to shift some of its talent around. Usually one or two main-eventers would be moved around, but it's mostly the mid-carders and divas that got new homes.
In more recent years, draft picks were earned as the result of winning interpromotional matches during the show. The 2011 edition opened with a 20-man battle royal, with the winning side to take one member of the opposing show's roster. Big Show wins for Smackdown, and they get the first pick.
Immediately, people are losing their minds, because suddenly the Friday night show means something again. Well, it did for about two and a half hours. In the show's main event, a six-man tag team match, Mark Henry turns on Cena and Christian, giving RAW's triumvirate of The Miz, Alberto Del Rio, and CM Punk the win. And the final draft pick of the night.
Why is this a bad reveal? From the moment John Cena left Smackdown in 2005, its profile had shrunk more and more and more. By the turn of the decade, the blue brand had become in the eyes of many irrelevant. Cena to Smackdown probably would have brought some life to it. Maybe. Look at the Cena back to RAW video again. Michael Cole cackling... CACKLING... at Smackdown's lot in life. As for the draft: already on its last legs with stars crossing over quite regularly, the results of said draft--and the brand extension--would be rendered irrelevant during the summer.
15. The first entrant in the 2016 Royal Rumble match is...
/Vince struggles to open plastic container
/hands container to Stephanie
Yeah. Not quite the same.
Vince demands a redraw, just to confirm it's all on the up and up.
/Vince struggles to open plastic container
/Vince struggles to open plastic container
/struggling intensifies as Stephanie McMahon makes an obscure reference to Million Dollar Mania nobody gets because it was like seven and a half years ago
Roman Reigns is the first man out. Steph, you put that ball back in the hopper, didn't you? Leave that ball out. Redraw.
/Vince struggles to open plastic container
/Vince opens plastic container this time
Roman Reigns is the first man out.
Why is this a bad reveal? Let's be honest: who didn't see this coming? Hello! It was ONE VERSUS ALL. It was literally right there in the tagline.
14. BOOOOOOOOOOOOO-yaka, Rey Mysterio. Boooooooooooooo.
One of the more compelling stories in recent memory was the rise of Daniel Bryan to main-event status in WWE. Daniel upset John Cena to win the WWE Championship at Summerslam 2013... only to lose it just five minutes later to Randy Orton. From there, he would face one obstacle after another, including winning the title back (only to lose it YET AGAIN) a day later on a technicality, being screwed multiple times out of said title, and being punted out of the main event altogether and being saddled with the Wyatt Family.
One would think that despite losing the show-opening match at the 2014 Royal Rumble event, Bryan would get at least a chance to redeem himself in the show-closing Royal Rumble, and forcing his way back into the WWE title conversation.
Then as the entrants came out, the anticipation built. Daniel's gonna be the last entrant, and then it's gonna get interesting. I mean, nobody really wants to see the returning Batista win the Rumble.
The clock ticks down. 10, 9, 8, you know the rest.
#30 is Rey Mysterio. Rey enters to a chorus of boos.
Why is this a bad reveal? There was always going to be a #30 in the Royal Rumble. There's been one every year since 1989. But there was something about this #30 that got the Pittsburgh crowd very, very salty. For lack of a better comparison, the crowd was expecting sirloin steak, and you serve them plain hamburger... that's been out for two days. This was Vince McMahon all but giving the finger to its audience, and said audience for the first time in recent memory giving the finger back. They turned on the match. They turned on the show. And if it lasted a few minutes longer, the crowd would have probably turned on each other.
It didn't help that this show featured The New Age Outlaws, both well into their 40s, winning the tag titles, Brock Lesnar defeating the Big Show in two minutes followed by a ten-minute beatdown, followed by YET ANOTHER John Cena-Randy Orton paint-by-numbers match.
The public relations nightmare couldn't have come at a worse time for the company: they were less than a month from rolling out the WWE Network, and people were already voting no buys with their wallets.
13. Stephanie McMahon owns ECW.
With the WCW-establishes-itself-as-its-own-entity abandoned following the Booker T-Buff Bagwell debacle, the July 9, 2001 RAW is WAR sent the Invasion in another direction. Tommy Dreamer and Rob Van Dam joined a group of ex-ECW wrestlers and formed their own stable with Paul Heyman leading the way. Suddenly the Invasion just got interesting. Extreme, if you will.
Realizing that WWF and WCW now had a common enemy on their hands, they agreed to put their differences aside to take care of the ECW menace. But WWF and WCW couldn't get along. Eventually the WWF side cleared the ring of their WCW counterparts when they were stormed by the ECW ten. Eventually, the WCW guys that were cleared out came back in.... and they beat on the WWF too. Shane McMahon then admits that he planned the whole thing: the merger of WCW and ECW to form the Alliance to Kill the WWF. Oh, one other thing: ECW has a new owner.
Why is this a bad reveal? Shane leading WCW against Vince's WWF? That made sense. He wanted to get back at his father for his misdeeds (some of which Shane himself had a part in). Paul Heyman leading ECW against Vince's WWF; after all, despite Vince funding Heyman's little company, it was Vince that more or less took Paul's ideas and brought it to a national audience. And that's not even getting into Paulie's issues with WCW.
So what does Stephanie have to do with ECW? About as much as me having anything to do with boy band One Direction, which is to say, nothing. The only thing extreme about Stephanie back in 2001 was her presence on WWF programming, which was overbearing to say the least. Once again, the McMahons put themselves ahead of their talent in a central storyline, and if Booker v. Bagwell wasn't the killing blow of the Invasion, Stephanie's music at the end of a very eventful RAW is WAR might have been.
12. The Yet-TAY.
Forming in May 1995 (but its roots dated back to October 1994 with the Three Faces of Fear), the Dungeon of Doom led by Kevin Sullivan was tasked with the mission of killing Hulkamania. The group at one point included Meng, Shark, Kamala, Zodiac, and Big Van Vader. But the crown jewel of the group was the 7'4", 500-pound Giant.
In October 1995, the Dungeon of Doom would add an insurance policy in the unlikely event that The Giant was in trouble against Hulk Hogan. An insurance policy in the form of a block of ice, or more accurately, what was trapped inside the block of ice: the Yeti.
Late in the world title match at Halloween Havoc, Jimmy Hart turned on world champion Hulk Hogan, getting him disqualified, and as it turned out, costing him the world title. Both Lex Luger and Randy Savage came to Hogan's rescue, but only Savage was on Hogan's side, as he was assaulted by Luger. Then, as if they needed it, out came the Dungeon's insurance policy, the Yeti.
Or, as Schiavone would call it, the YET-TAY.
Why is this a bad reveal? Let's not even get into the awkward bro-hug with the Giant, Hogan, and the YET-TAY. That has been joked around enough. It's supreme wrestlecrap and one of the most embarrassing moments in wrestling history. We get that.
Here in a nutshell is why this is a bad reveal (besides the hug). This is a Yeti.
(pic via thetimes.co.uk) A Yeti is an abominable snowman.
This is not a Yeti. This is a mummy. Regardless of what the mainstream media tells you, wrestling fans are not completely stupid. They know shenanigans when they see it, and this, my friends, is shenanigans. You can't give these people a mummy when they expect a snowman. That's not how this works. That's not how any of this works.
But seriously, though. That hug.
11. Hornswoggle is Vince McMahon's illegitimate son.
In June 2007, Mr. McMahon Appreciation Night went about as well as you'd expect it to go, which was not well. In fact, it went so not well, McMahon was left despondent. Then as he was to leave in his limo, BOOM! The limo blows up!
The angle was to kick off a summer-long "whodunit", but real-life tragedy put the story on the backburner for a while. When it was picked up a few weeks later, it was found out that McMahon had fathered a son out of wedlock, and the mother's suing for child support.
A few weeks later, through the process of elimination, it came down to the eclectic trio of Triple H, the Sandman, and Hornswoggle. And guess who ended up being Vince's illegitimate son?
Hornswoggle. Because of course it's fucking Hornswoggle. (I can't take credit for this. Thanks, Vidence.)
Why is this a bad reveal? Nothing quite sends a loud signal of "you can officially stop taking this seriously" in a wrestling storyline by adding a midget. Dwarf. Little person. It didn't HAVE to be Hornswoggle if they were a little patient. See, originally it was to be Mr. Kennedy... Kennedy as the man that would play a McMahon on TV, thereby assumingly getting a huge push.
But just a week before the reveal, Kennedy would be suspended by the WWE as he was busted for buying performance-enhancing drugs online. Yet the E was determined to see this story to the finish line. Thus... Hornswoggle.
And they even retconned that when it was revealed later it was Finlay's son.
Nobody came out of this storyline looking any better. Nobody.
10. Sting is a Sting fan in disguise.
After Jay Lethal and Rob Van Dam defeated Beer Money on the May 22, 2010 Impact, it broke down into a pair of post-match brawls, because of course it did. Lethal and Ric Flair fought all the way to the back. With the smoke cleared, TNA world champion Rob Van Dam high-fives the fans because reasons. Then he goes to high-five a man in a Sting mask, who blasts his face with a chair.
That man was Sting.
Why is this a bad reveal? Why don't you tell them why it's a bad reveal, Mike Tenay?
"The Icon Sting wearing a Sting mask?"
Yeah. Let that give you comfort at night.
In the spring and early summer of 1996, WCW programming was inundated with promos much like one in the video above about "our world is about to change" and "blood runs cold", the taglines for a new wrestler, Glacier.
Then came his debut. People snickered at it. It was literally a living version of Mortal Kombat character Sub-Zero.
Why is this a bad reveal? Chalk this one up to timing. The promos began running in May 1996. Glacier's debut didn't come until September.
On WCW Pro. Why, you ask?
Three words: New World Order. That storyline engulfed WCW and everything around it, and the shocking Hulk Hogan heel turn suddenly made the nWo priorities one, two, three, four, and five. It was WCW's first serious foray into reality-based storylines in quite some time, rendering Glacier and the whole "Blood Runs Cold" saga virtually obsolete. Which kinda sucks considering WCW invested a ton of cash on this storyline (his entrances alone ran a total tab of near a half million dollars).
Also going against the Glacier character: Mortal Kombat, the game that surely inspired Glacier, was starting its downslope in 1996, a downslope that would continue for over a decade (where it bottomed out depends on who you ask; some say Special Forces, some say Mythologies: Sub Zero, some say MK vs. DC Universe) before finally recovering with the reboot in 2011. Glacier hit a downslope right out of the gate, and never recovered, never getting anything more than a mid-card push.
8. Fake Razor and Fake Diesel.
In the mid-1990s, the flood gates were open, as WWF talent left and right left for bigger money for fewer dates and better job security in WCW. Sure the likes of losing Hulk Hogan and the rest of the 80s Express hurt the WWF, but in 1996, it really came crashing down and hurting inside when the WWF lost Razor Ramon and Diesel, real names Scott Hall and Kevin Nash respectively AT THE SAME TIME.
But Vince McMahon always (and by always, I mean sometimes) has a good idea up his sleeve. After all, he owned the characters; he could replace Razor and Diesel with two people that looked just like them and nobody would notice the difference. Jim Ross was tasked with introducing "the returning" Razor and Diesel on the September 23, 1996 episode of RAW. Well, on that episode, due to time constraints, we would only get the Razor.
Who looks nothing like Scott Hall. Like... at all. The next week, we would get our first look at the new Diesel... who looked nothing like Kevin Nash. Presenting Rick Bognar and Glenn Jacobs, DDS.
Why is this a bad reveal? You can fool some of the people some of the time, but regardless of what you been told, wrestling fans are not idiots.
The Internet wasn't nearly as prevalent in 1996 as it is now, and yet, these people knew right away they were hoodwinked. You can't promise a 72-ounce steak and bring out a quarter-pound hamburger and expect people to be okay with it, just as you can't promise Razor Ramon and Diesel and deliver two cheap knock-offs. This was McMahon at his pettiest (at the time) and only proceeded to make the WWF look like bigger clowns than they already were against the WCW juggernaut.
Plus, this was the angle that, albeit briefly, Jim Ross heel. Like... what in the actual fuck?
7. Hornswoggle is the anonymous RAW General Manager.
After Eric Bischoff was fired from his post as RAW General Manager, it was a revolving door as to who sat in the office on Monday nights. In fact, over six dozen men and women over the following four and a half years sat in the chair (and that does count the over 60 guest hosts, aka "GMs for a day"). In June 2010, with Bret Hart taken out by the Nexus, the RAW roster began taking orders... from a computer.
Ok, not exactly a computer, but from someone who would issue orders from the comfort of their own home. Or something. This continued for an entire year. It was teased it was an ex-WWE talent, perhaps a WWE Hall of Famer. The Anonymous GM disappeared into the ether without explanation following the whole CM Punk leaving WWE with their title thing.
It was brought back a year later just before RAW 1000 when the man behind the emails was outed. In a comedy segment, no less.
It was Hornswoggle. Of course it was fucking Hornswoggle.
Why is this a bad reveal? Because it's fucking Hornswoggle.
Ok, that's too easy. As mentioned earlier, wrestling history shows that when you throw a little person into the mix, you're telling your audience to stop taking it seriously. Wanna kill Finlay's aura as a tough Irish bastard? Just add Hornswoggle. Wanna kill one the most prestigious championships in wrestling history? Just add Hornswoggle. Wanna burn the memories of one of the best stables in WWE history--twice? Just add Hornswoggle.
WWE as it turned out, flew by the seat of their pants with this story, as they had no concrete way to end it, only getting out from under this interminable drama with the Summer of Punk. Sitting on it for a full year, they still had no clue to end it, and decided, screw it, let's make it Hornswoggle.
Now, who it was originally supposed to be changes depends on who's telling the story, with names like Kevin Nash and Shawn Michaels and Triple H supposedly the man behind the gimmick. In fact, WWE themselves teased the identity of the anonymous RAW GM would be revealed on Cyber Monday 2014. It was never revealed. In fact, WWE canon officially states that the RAW GM's identity remains a mystery.
No. No it isn't. It's Hornswoggle. Own it.
6. Rikishi ran over Stone Cold Steve Austin.
At the 1999 Survivor Series, just an hour and a half or so before Stone Cold Steve Austin and The Rock were to challenge Triple H for the WWF Championship in a triple threat match, Austin was baited into an attack by the champion. Austin chased Haitch into a parking lot, where a runaway sedan was awaiting. Stone Cold couldn't get out of the way fast enough, and he was run down by an unknown driver. Austin would live of course, but the injuries he suffered were not only enough to take him out of the WWF title match, but out of the WWF entirely for months.
Save for one appearance at Backlash the following April (and the Smackdown prior to the PPV), Austin didn't return until September 2000, and he was mad as hell. Can't blame him really. He wanted to know who tried to kill him. That would be the focus in the late summer and early fall for the WWF. On the October 9, 2000 RAW, the culprit would be revealed. Or rather, the culprit would confess.
Rikishi did it. He didn't do it for him. He did it for... The Rock.
Why is this a bad reveal? The younger or newer fans will just have to go with me on this one: in 2000, Rikishi was one of the most popular acts in WWE. I'd say... top 10. That's a safe number, yeah? Nobody wanted a Rikishi heel turn. Noooooooobody. If you don't believe it, watch the original broadcast on WWE Network. The reaction of Rikishi's initial confession went over like a fart in church. Hell, his explanation (you know, where he "did it for the people", as in his Samoan people), made him sympathetic in the eyes of some. That's not exactly what you want in your monster heel.
Second, Austin was back for only fifteen days. Did they had to blow it off THAT quickly? They could have stretched it out if they wanted to go that route. Or maybe started put more emphasis on it sooner.
Third, they had to add the mastermind plot to remotely make it work, and the mastermind was Triple H. Of course it was Triple H. Unfortunately, it did little to save what was the hottest story in the WWF post-Austin vs. McMahon.
In the minds of some, this was the point the Attitude Era bubble burst. Hardly anyone bought into heel Rikishi (especially after his ass was handed to him by Austin at No Mercy), and just a year after doing the deed, he was turned babyface again.
The WWF probably had a logical conclusion in their pocket, but they went for swerving for the sake of swerving. This time around, it didn't work.
5. The new RAW General Manager: Eric Bischoff.
When Eric Bischoff ascended to the top of WCW in 1993, he had grand visions of making the perennial loser in the Turner conglomerate into not just a profitable company, but the #1 wrestling promotion in America. He moved some of their TV tapings to Orlando. He expanded the PPV calendar. He signed away some name WWF talent, both past and present (I mean, then-present. Present for the mid-1990s. Just go with it.). He put on a wrestling show to compete directly against the established Monday Night RAW.
By the end of 1996, Bischoff's plan for wrestling world domination had come to fruition. After the height of WCW's popularity and profitability in 1997, the shine slowly wore off. With WWF resurging, WCW slowly began looking second-rate, and by the end of 1999, Bischoff was out of power. And in March 2001, just as he was on the verge of buying WCW, the company loses their TV deal, and WWF swoops in and buys it out for a fraction for what it was once worth.
Bischoff was largely away from the wrestling business until July 15, 2002 when Vince McMahon for reasons not quite fully explained announced that RAW and Smackdown would be run going forward by appointed general managers. The pick for RAW: Eric Bischoff.
Why is this a bad reveal? The answer comes literally eleven seconds after Bischoff walks out on stage on RAW for the first time. The two longtime rivals, both of whom wished evil and bad things on one another, were SHAKING HANDS AND HUGGING IT OUT. I get that time heals all wounds and all that. But there's a reason why Eric Bischoff is whom WWE calls "Sports Entertainment's Most Controversial Figure". This is a man that pissed on wrestling convention, made his own rules, and rode that mentality to the top of the wrestling world. Can you imagine a Bischoff-McMahon rivalry...with both men under the same roof? Well, imagination is all that it will have to be. At a time the WWE needed a spark (they were still reeling from the Stone Cold walkout), all they did was take a spark to a big pile of money. And that pile was lit on fire.
It also didn't help that WWE spoiled their own reveal three minutes before it went down.
4. DDP is a stalker.
Beginning his wrestling career in his mid 30s, but not making a serious impact until around his 40th birthday, Diamond Dallas Page is one of the most unlikely success stories in wrestling history. Working his way up from managing to announcing to eventually getting in the ring, Page would win nearly every championship possible with the company, including winning the WCW world title three times before the company shut its doors in 2001. Along the way, he would slowly earn the adoration of wrestling fans with his never-say-die attitude and quick kill finisher, the Diamond Cutter. He was dubbed by WCW as the "People's Champion".
In the spring of 2001, videos began playing of The Undertaker's home life, including his wife Sara, whom the videographer seemed to develop an obsession over. Like a super creepy obsession, you guys. The kind of obsession you could wind up in handcuffs over.
Eventually, the man behind the super creepy you guys videos came forward on the June 18, 2001 RAW is WAR. He came out to the Undertaker's entrance, drove a motorcycle, and hell, pretty much dressed like the Undertaker. Except he had a mask covering his face. Then a lone spotlight in the ring for a brief moment. The lights come up. The mask comes off.
Dallas... Dallas Page? Diamond Dallas Page! DDP is the stalker! DDP is a sicko!
Why is this a bad reveal? Go back and watch the video again. Listen to the reaction the first few seconds after the mask comes off. Nobody wanted to boo this man, no matter how creepy or sick he was. It's Diamond Dallas Page. He was one of the faces of WCW. He was damn near impossible to boo, especially if you know his life story.
And yet, here he is, reduced to being a peeping tom. A peeping tom that would job, job, and jobbyjobjob to The Undertaker over and over and over again throughout the summer. Hell, Sara has a pinfall over DDP. No, seriously.
A battle of people's champions in The Rock and DDP would have been one for the ages. Unfortunately, it would never take place; Page was out of the WWF after a disappointing run in April 2002, by which point, so was The Rock for all intents and purposes.
3. The Shockmaster.
WarGames was WCW's signature match. Created by the late Dusty Rhodes as the signature match of the Four Horsemen, the bout evolved to become the ultimate in team warfare, settling several feuds at once. Many of WCW's best and toughest stepped inside the double cage battleground, including Ric Flair, Arn Anderson, Sting, Lex Luger, the Road Warriors, Steve Austin, Sid Vicious, Rick Rude, and Dusty himself.
In 1993, Sting, Davey Boy Smith, Road Warrior Hawk, and Dustin Rhodes were set to take on the Masters of the Powerbomb (Sid Vicious and Vader) and Harlem Heat. But Road Warrior Hawk got injured just weeks before the bout and he had to be replaced. On an infamous Flair for the Gold segment during Clash of the Champions XXIV on August 18, 1993, Sting and Davey Boy were set to unleash their secret weapon. The man that would make the difference in WarGames '93. The man that's gonna shock the world: The Shockmaster.
The Shockmaster makes a grandiose entrance... and proceeds to trip and fall in his debut. In the words of the British Bulldog, he fell on his fucking arse.
Why is this a bad reveal? Before breaking down the comedy of errors, let's hear from the man himself, "Uncle" Fred Ottman:
They put me in a Storm Trooper mask which they painted and covered in glitter, I couldn't see a thing. I got to the wall and put my hands up like a double axe handle and bust through. The top broke perfectly, but the bottom didn't give. The momentum took me through the wall and to the floor.
The reason why the bottom didn't give? David Crockett put a 2x4 on the floor by the wall. Remember, Ottman couldn't see that 2x4. He didn't know about that 2x4. So how else was it going to end other than Fred tripping, losing his helmet, and falling on his arse?
Now that we gotten that out of the way, let's break down the comedy of errors. The bedazzled Stormtrooper helmet. They should be fortunate George Lucas didn't come out suing WCW. Whatever this getup is he's wearing. The trip and fall. Kole (later Booker T) wondering who the hell is this motherfucker. Ric Flair losing it. Davey Boy Smith losing it. The crowd and the announcers giving literally zero reaction, probably out of sheer disbelief. Sid going absolutely mental. And the voiceover which seemed to be a few seconds ahead. It's like an early Youtube video that is out of sync. A voice, by the way, that is oddly very similar to another awful mystery WCW gimmick: the Black Scorpion.
Oh, and to top it all off: this reveal was live. The Shockmaster's fate was sealed. After all, it was impossible to take him seriously with a debut like that.
2. Vince McMahon is the higher power.
In early 1999, The Undertaker began gathering an army to take over the World Wrestling Federation. That army was the Ministry of Darkness, and they had some devious means in their playbook, most of which revolved around Vince McMahon's daughter Stephanie. If the Undertaker could use Stephanie to break McMahon's spirit and will, he would have his run of the place. He did all this under the guidance of a "power that is greater than he".
Soon, Vince would be overthrown from the Corporation by his son Shane, who merged the group with the Undertaker's Ministry to form the Corporate Ministry. But they still answered to a higher power. On the May 31, 1999 episode of RAW is WAR, Stone Cold Steve Austin was taken by the Corporate Ministry and the Undertaker delivered the Texas Rattlesnake to the "higher power", who revealed himself only to Austin.
The next week, the rest of the world would find out who exactly was under the robe.
It's him, Austin.
Why is this a bad reveal? Don't get me wrong; Vince McMahon's reveal was convincing as hell, and it might be the best bad reveal ever. But it's when you dig into the story you discover why this is such a bad reveal.
Don Callis, aka The Jackyl, was originally tabbed to be the "higher power", but he was released before the story kicked into first gear. While he would have made sense, as he had managed the Acolytes at the time, it wouldn't have been nearly as impactful. They could have supposedly gotten Jake "The Snake" Roberts, but Roberts was at the lowest point of his life at that point (if you don't believe it, find Heroes of Wrestling which took place four months after this show).
Maybe McMahon was or wasn't the fallback, but it is what we ended up with. The man behind the hanging of The Big Boss Man. The man behind the sacrifice of Ryan Shamrock. The man behind the kidnapping and near forced wedding of Vince's own daughter Stephanie McMahon. All because he wanted to get back at Steve Austin. Seriously.
I don't get it either.
1. The Gobbledy Gooker.
The spring and summer of 1990 saw a huge giant egg at WWF events around the country. What's in the egg, people were probably asking. Probably a debuting talent. Probably a big surprise. Probably a major announcement of something or other.
The egg would be hatched at the 1990 Survivor Series. Legendary sideline reporter Mean Gene Okerlund in the final moments:
"Everybody has speculated as to what might be in the egg. Is it a dinosaur? Is it a rabbit? Balloons? Is it the Playmate of the Month? Heh, who knows? Well, the way it sounds to me right now, the speculating is all over! Oop, stand back! I think that egg is ready to blow!"
When it blew, out came... a turkey. A wrestling turkey. Presenting the Gobbledy Gooker. To a chorus of jeers and boos.
Why is this a bad reveal? First off, a wrestling turkey. It's a wrestling turkey. The shelf life is limited as is. Second, though the WWF never blatantly promised anything other than this egg's gonna hatch until moments before, there was no doubt that barring a small miracle, it was going to be disappointment. Third, wrestling mascots don't work out. The next one that does will be the first. Cheesy gimmicks are a part of wrestling, but this one seemed to be about five years too late.
The Gooker was panned right out of the gate and never recovered. The man under the suit, Hector Guerrero, was fired just a month later after he botched his entrance in Madison Square Garden (according to Guerrero, there was no formal firing; it was more like the checks and calls stopped coming). While Hector looks back on the time in the turkey suit with no regrets, many fans do, especially those that had to sit through him coming out of that egg.
The Gooker lives on, of course, as WrestleCrap bestows its annual worst story or moment in wrestling with the Gooker Award. And that may be the legacy of the Goobledy Gooker, the reveal you selected as the worst in wrestling history.
Miss anything? Give out about it in the comments section. Look for the best reveals countdown later this week.