PPV Reviews in 100 Words or Less, Volume 2

Thanks to the WWE Network, anyone with an Internet connection can watch any PPV that WWE, WCW, or ECW has put on ever. That has basically turned a lot of people into amateur Dave Meltzers. While not everyone can review a show like Meltzer can (myself included), many can give a reasonable synopsis if given a couple thousand words and a few hours to write.

I'll go in a different direction: I'll tell you in a hundred words or less whether each PPV is worth your two or three or four hours. So here are ten more PPVs I watched recently and my quick, honest assessment.

Clash of the Champions IX: 8/10, would definitely watch again. Funk and Fiair may have been the second best free television match of the year (next to the 2/3 falls match at Clash VI). Show picks up after the opening two bouts. (Ok, it died a little with Steve Williams vs. Super Destroyer.) But still, very much worth your time.

WCW Halloween Havoc 1999: 0/10, never again. This, however: not worth your time. This is the first WCW PPV of the Vince Russo era, and by God, does it ever show. Fellow Cagesider dustbusta spends many more than 100 words ripping this show, so go read that. But two points here: (1) look at this poster. That's the official poster for this event. Who thought this was a good idea? (2) Sorry Dustbusta, but Kimberly Page is hot.

(I could use a number of other pictures of Kimberly in this spot, but then I remembered kids might see this post, so this is what you get.)

WWF King of the Ring 1996: 7/10. Stone Cold Steve Austin something something. Mankind versus Undertaker is also worth your time as is the WWF title match between Shawn Michaels and British Bulldog. And Steve Austin does something of mild importance here. Some noise about Psalms and John and Thunderbird. Oh, and Warrior's last WWF match is on this show.

WWF Wrestlemania IX: 2/10, would only watch again if it was Wrestlemania season. And even then I'll need a shower afterwards. I could direct you to... a number... of... sources... tearing... this... here... PPV... a new one... orrrrrrrrrrrr you can read BIGPALE's brilliant account of the main event as part of his month-long ranking of the Wrestlemania main events from earlier this year. That whole countdown is worth a read for that matter (spoiler: only one main event finished worse than Hogan vs. Yokozuna on the countdown).

WCW Spring Stampede 1994: 9/10. Can't go full boat with a main event finishing in a tie. This is the last great WCW show before, you know, Hogan and friends moved in, and wouldn't you know it: Flair and Steamboat deliver another classic. Three things: (1) the Flair-Steamboat trilogy from '89 is better. (2) I hate PPVs that end with a non-conclusive finish. That's a copout, and if I paid for this show, I'd demand a refund even if it was awesome. (3) The race for match of the year ended about three weeks earlier with the ladder match from Wrestlemania X. Still, watch this match and this show. Good stuff galore.

ECW December to Dismember: 1/10. Tag match was okay, but long. Everything else was shit. I feel sorry for anyone that paid for the original PPV broadcast. It was a $40 live execution of Extreme Championship Wrestling, and the beginning of the end of the brand extension. I could list everything wrong with December to Dismember, but I'll do that another time. Full disclosure: truthfully, I didn't watch the whole show the first time around. I fell asleep an hour in and woke up an hour after it was over. I stand by my rating though.

Clash of the Champions XXI: 7/10, would definitely watch the final two matches again. A lot of good stuff on the show...and Erik Watts. You had the future Diamond Dallas Page and Kevin Nash in pink shirts...and Erik Watts. You had Paul Heyman (in his final WCW television appearance as he gets fired in the new year) getting his ass handed to by Madusa (pre-boob job)... and Erik Watts. You also get the first 450 splash on American television (and the crowd's minds were righly blown)... and Erik Watts. Worth a watch. But not the Erik Watts match; that's a waste of time.

Great American Bash 1997: 6/10, would watch again for the opener and main event. Not so much with everything else. Arguably the best feud of 1997 in WCW was Macho Man Randy Savage versus Diamond Dallas Page, who made himself a star with this beef. It sucked that the nWo went over, but the nWo was going over at every turn by this point. Oh, and way to rag on Madusa right after losing her retirement match, Mean Gene (which didn't stick, by the way, surprise, surprise).

WWF Survivor Series 1996: 7.5/10, the big matches delivered even if it looked like the crowd was half asleep at times. Austin has his first match of significance since winning King of the Ring, Bret Hart returns, Rocky Maivia debuts, Mankind and Undertaker go hard as does Shawn Michaels and Sid. A few seeds of the year ahead and the Attitude Era are planted in this show. Worth a look if you were too busy with WCW around this time (and chances are you were).

WWF Wrestlemania XV: 4/10, with all four points going to Rock vs. Austin. If WCW wasn't as bad as it was around this time in 1999, this would have been the beginning of WWF losing the momentum they got since the previous November. Instead, it's one of the five worst Manias ever that's held together by two of the hottest names in wrestling. Wrestlemania XV didn't feel enough like a Wrestlemania, and that's a problem. Thanks Russo.

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Have you seen any of these gems/dogs, Cagesiders?  What did you think?  Suggestions for a potential Volume 3?

This, by the way, makes it 100 posts from yours truly. I like to thank everyone for reading my stuff over the last couple years. And to Geno for giving me home to write all this stuff I have on my brain.