AEW Dark recap (Apr. 5, 2022): The Negative One Show

Episode 137 of AEW Dark is in the books! If you missed the live broadcast click here for the Cageside Seats stream from YouTube. Your commentary team this week was Excalibur and Taz. Without further adieu let’s get straight into Tuesday night’s action!

Ryan Nemeth vs. Chandler Hopkins

Believe it or not this was Nemeth’s first singles match of 2022. Hopkins was waiting for him in the ring with a 0-1 record. Nemeth did an ankle pick and a high crotch takedown to show off his amateur wrestling skills. He bragged to the Universal Studios crowd that that’s “how he scores all the points,” then he pulled the ring skirt down over Hopkins head to give him a beating for all the non-amateur points. Nemeth grounded Hopkins in the middle of the ring, did a headstand submission, stretched his face, then got countered into an inside cradle. Nemeth responded with a tackle to knock Hopkins off his feet, hit a knee to the ribs seven times, but ate a springboard spinning head kick before a Falcon Arrow for a near fall. Hopkins missed a shooting star press and ate the a neck breaker for the pin. Hopkins could use a little spray tan but then again Nemeth could use a little less. When his arm was raised in victory you could see they missed the pits.

JP Harlow vs. Sonny Kiss

Kiss came to the ring with a 2022 record of 2-2. Harlow was (you already know) waiting in the ring with a record of 0-1 in the promotion. Harlow did his own version of Cena’s “you can’t see me” leaving both Taz and Excalibur confused on commentary. Kiss reversed a whip, Harlow shook his ass, and Kiss decked Harlow with an elbow. Suplex, kip up, clubbing blow to the neck, and an axe kick as Harlow was stuck in the ropes. Kiss got the pin off that — no other moves required. I was stunned as the announcers. I thought Harlow would kick out and the match would go at least a minute longer. Stunned — but not displeased.

Abadon vs. Hyena Hera

Abadon crawled out to the entrance ramp with a record of 30-3. How is she not ranked in the women’s division with a record like that? Hera was waiting in the corner to make her debut. Taz: “I don’t know if Hyena will be laughing after this one.” Hera tried a few kicks and then tried to squeeze Abadon’s ears together. Both women screamed as loudly as they could and Excalibur quipped that Luther should join the chorus. Abadon hit a senton and a Black Dahlia to bring the squash to a decisive end. I would have liked to see more of Hera but I could do without the screaming from either woman (or Luther).

Luke Sampson & Guillermo Rosas vs. Tiger Ruas & Cezar Bononi

Bononi and Ruas had a team record of 1-0 for this contest. Sampson and Rosas were making their team debut, but not their AEW debut, and it’s literally hard to miss Sampson since he looks like a modern day Kevin Nash. Ruas worked over Sampson and tagged Bononi in to continue the beating. Sampson tagged in and after a brief lock up got knocked down by a big boot before Ruas came back in. Sampson tried to fight back from being double teamed with a series of elbows, but tagging his partner didn’t make things better. Sampson ate a pump handle suplex from Bononi and Ruas made the pain. Oh well. They kept beating up Sampson after the match over the objections of the referee, but only got a tepid and light boo from the Universal Studios crowd. Maybe they were just tired.

Lance Archer vs. Dean Alexander

Archer brought a record of 49-11 to the ring, but for once he didn’t actually bring his opponent with him. Alexander was waiting in the squared circle with a record of 0-1. Archer signaled for him to come over and they got face to face for a moment before Archer went to pose in the corner. He was still posing as the ref rang the bell, Alexander tried to get the jump on him and failed. and the crowd chanted “Archer’s gonna kill you!” Excalibur opined that one chop from Archer was like two from anybody else. You could say that about any move that he does. Archer kicked Alexander’s carcass, mouthed “you ain’t nothing” and hammered his back. Alexander broke out of a choke slam but didn’t escape a spinning slam. Archer yelled “shut up” to the crowd, ate a boot while he was distracted, but that only pissed him off more as he hit the Blackout and then bounced Alexander’s head off the canvas with the mandible claw before the pin with one knee to his head.

Aaron Solo & Nick Comoroto (w/ QT Marshall) vs. Alan “5” Angels & Preston “10” Vance (w/ -1)

The Factory’s Comoroto and Solo came out first for the main event with a tag team record of 1-2 for 2022. Angels was 27-46 and Vance was 54-20. Before Dasha Fuentes could finish their introductions The Dark Order decided to jump off the ramp and attack their foes. The bell rang and Angels went after Solo with a belly to belly for a near fall. Vance tagged in for a big back body drop, Angels did a dropkick, and Vance made the cover for two. Solo tried a jaw breaker but ate a slingshot German suplex as the crowd chanted “ten ten ten” like his name was Shawn Spears. I kid.

Comoroto tagged in and got face to face with him, then they pie faced each other, and the fans chanted “shave your back” at Comoroto. They took turns giving each other chops in the corner until Vance hit a clothesline and escaped a fireman’s carry attempt. Angels tagged in for a crossbody, Comoroto caught him, but Vance hit a pump kick to make him fall down. Marshall interfered on the outside and went after -1 as the crowd expressed their displeasure by chanting “QT sucks!” Comoroto continued to beat down Angels and yelled “How do you like that?” as they kept booing. Marshall gave Angels a cheap shot and Comoroto picked him up for a slam, but missed with the senton. Solo tagged in, Angels kicked him away, and Vance got the hot tag. Pump kicks for everyone. Spinebuster for Solo. Vance put on the full nelson and Comoroto ran in to break it up. Why is that not a DQ?

Anyway Angels tagged in, Comoroto interfered again and broke it a double team, then picked Angels up with one hand. Angels hit an enzuigiri to escape and rolled up Solo for a near fall. Marshall interfered again but Angels still managed to kick out after the Comoroto spear. -1 pantsed Marshall and Vance clotheslined him when he gave chase! The crowd chanted “negative one” enthusiastically. Angels kicked Solo into Vance for the full nelson and got the submission. This was the hottest the crowd got the whole night.

What to watch/skip

Tonight’s what to watch/skip is brought to you by “Everybody Dies.” Let me shoot on that for a moment though — it might be the best entrance song for a nothing happening character in all of AEW. I’m a fan of Archer dating all the way back to his “Hoyt-a-Mania” days, but this gimmick of him defeating enhancement talent on the Dark shows every week isn’t helping him gain any momentum. If he was doing it on Rampage, there’s at least a chance people would tune in to The Lance Archer Show to see him. I don’t sense that this works for Dark and they certainly don’t promote it that way. He kills people and outside of this column we don’t even talk about it. They could at least make it a streak. Count how many wins he’s had in a row. Do something to make it mean something. That’s all I ask. Anyway you could skip 90% of this show and just watch the last two matches, or you could just go ahead and view the whole thing since it was under 40 minutes and only six matches. Me? I’d do the latter.

Cageside commentary crew! I welcome your feedback in the comments section below. I’m also on Twitter if you want to hit me up there. See you next Monday night for Elevation!