AEW Dark Elevation recap (Apr. 25, 2022): Grandpa Murder is not impressed by QT

Episode 60 of AEW Dark: Elevation is in the books! If you missed the live broadcast click here for the Cageside Seats stream. The announce team this time was Excalibur, Mark Henry and Paul Wight. Let’s talk about what went down (or up) on Elevation this week!

The Dark Order (Alex Reynolds, Stu Grayson, Evil Uno, Preston Vance and Alan Angels) w/ -1 vs. Luther, Jake Omen, Tito Oric, Bulk Nasty and RC Dupree

Luther was the first man to hit the ramp for this ten man tag. Owing to the fact that all of his teammates were new here, nobody was billed by their win/loss record. The Dark Oder was billed as “making their ten man tag debut” so nobody on that side got their record listed either. Luther put a mask on one of his teammates and tried to pretend it was Serpentico. It got ripped off immediately. Luther hit a leg lariat and a suplex on Reynolds for a near fall before tagging in one of his partners. Vance tagged in and Luther threw one of the jobbers after another at him so he could knock them all down. Reynolds got an assisted moonsault flip to the outside to wipe them all out. Uno and Grayson did their double team cutter for the pin while Vance put another jobber in the full nelson. This was a cluster.

Kris Statlander vs. Julia Hart

Hart brought a 2022 record of 3-2 to the ring. The new look Statlander brought a total AEW record of 41-17. Commentary teased that “the darkness was spreading” from Hart’s eye from the mist sprayed by Malakai Black. Henry: “She might want to see a doctor about that.” Statlander held Hart in the air with a surfboard and leapfrogged her, then snatched her up out of a side headlock attempt for a suplex. She continued her assault with a chop and a whip hard into the the corner. Hart finally got on offense with a bulldog but Statlander kicked out. Statlander got up throwing forearms but Hart kicked her in the back and did a standing moonsault. Hart rammed Statlander into the turnbuckle and stepped on her neck for good measure. She tried to sink in a rear naked choke from behind but Statlander got back to her feet and threw Hart into the corner for a buckle bomb. She gave her a boot through the ropes, hit a revere suplex and a delayed vertical suplex, kipped up, and missed with the spinning head kick. Hart did a running back elbow to the corner and went up top. Rounding body press for a near fall. Hart tried to put Statlander in a triangle choke but she escaped and hit a dead lift German. This time she connected with the roundhouse kick and did the Night Fever piledriver for good measure. Everything the first match wasn’t, this was. Well done by both women.

Konosuke Takeshita vs. Brandon Cutler

“Elite Stooge” Cutler came out first with his cold spray and a 2022 record of 1-1. DDT Pro’s Takeshita was 2-1 to date in All Elite Wrestling and frankly I was hoping he’d destroy Cutler. Cutler tried to psych himself up for a lockup and immediately got put in an arm wringer. He reversed it and laughed at Takeshita and got put in a side headlock. Takeshita took him down with a shoulder tackle and a leg lariat. Wight: “You watch this kid (Takeshita) and you see star power. That’s all you see.” He hit Cutler with a senton and somehow the geek of the week kicked out. Cutler knocked Takeshita down and started dancing like he already had the match won, and did it for so long he missed an elbow drop and Takeshita waved a “no no no” finger at him. Takeshita flew across the ring with a tackle and then gave Cutler a DDT for a near fall. He pulled Cutler back up by the trunks, Cutler tried to use the referee to escape, but he ate a Blue Thunder Bomb for another near fall. Can we finish Cutler please? Takeshita drilled him with a forearm and laid them in but ate cold spray to the face while the ref was distracted. He kicked out of two pin attempts and hit a brain buster for another near fall. Henry: “This is the best match I’ve seen Cutler have because of his perseverance.” He couldn’t persevere after a big knee to the face though. 1-2-3, done.

Tony Nese w/ “Smart” Mark Sterling vs. Steel City Brawler

“Premier Athlete” Nese brought at 12-2 record to the ring. Sterling: “Since he signed on with me he’s 2-0. So when we got to Pittsburgh we said ‘Can you give us the best you have to offer?’ And they gave us this?! The Steel City Brawler? If this is the standard, my gosh, and that’s the problem. There’s plenty of jokes around here getting opportunities over guys like Tony Nese. They want to change Tony Nese. They don’t want to chant Brawler.” Excalibur: “Didn’t Sterling know that would backfire?” (Yes and that’s exactly why he did it.) Nese and the Brawler both flexed their biceps and the Brawler definitely had the bigger of the two. Nese gave him a kick to the groin and a palm strike to the throat, using every dirty tactic in the book since he couldn’t overpower him in size or strength. Sterling waved a terrible towel just to rile up the crowd even more. Brawler rocked Nese with a headbutt and a pair of clotheslines. Big splash in the corner. Nese gave him a shotgun dropkick and the Running Nese immediately after to bring the match to a sudden end, wiping himself off with the terrible towel and throwing it in the Brawler’s face.

Minoru Suzuki vs. QT Marshall

Marshall brought a record of 42-34 to the ring, flanked by Nick Comoroto and Aaron Solo. He’d need all the help he could get against Grandpa Murder! “Kaze Ni Nare” brought the fans in Pittsburgh to their feet, and they roared in approval when he hit the entrance ramp, sporting an AEW record of 0-1 for 2022 (never has a record meant less). The crowd sang along to the music at Suzuki’s encouragement and Marshall looked befuddled by it all when the opening bell rang.

Marshall got in a couple of cheap shots early but got put in a cross armbreaker in the ropes in response. He was tapping out even though he couldn’t submit in that position, so the match continued on the outside. The Factory interfered as you’d expect, but it didn’t take long for Suzuki to recover in the ring and start no selling Marshall’s forearms. QT screamed at him “Give me your best shot!” Suzuki obliged and put him down HARD.

Marshall tried to come back with a lariat and Suzuki kicked out immediately. Sleeper, elbow strike, Gotch style piledriver, and as Mark Henry would say “You could count to a hundred.” Beautiful! I loved every second of this match.

John Silver vs. Vince Valor

Silver brought his Dark Order familia (including -1) with him and had a record of 46-27 coming into this bout. Valor’s record was 0-0 since this was his AEW debut. This one didn’t take long as Valor ate the Spin Doctor for the pin quickly. Henry: “I’ve had sneezing fits that lasted longer than that!”

Ruby Soho, Anna Jay and Skye Blue vs. Emi Sakura, The Bunny and Nyla Rose

66-25, 33-25 and 28-21 were Rose, Bunny and Sakura respectively. 26-4, 33-11 and 7-20 for Soho, Jay and Blue on the opposite side. Vickie Guerrero accompanied the heels and -1 accompanied the babyfaces. Blue gave Sakura a big shove to start the match off and an enzuigiri for good measure, but Rose tagged in and immediately ran her over. Jay tagged in and got a side slam. Soho came in and threw a pair of lariats that Rose no sold. Soho got thrown into the corner and swung into a turnbuckle head first. Henry: “She used her like a battering ram!” Blue came back in and gave Rose a kick to the face. She went top rope but Rose caught her and planted her for a near fall. Blue was thrown into the heel corner for the three-on-one beatdown. Guerrero laughed as Bunny laid in the ground and pound. Sakura did her “we will rock you” crossbody for a near fall. Blue gave Bunny an arm drag, crawled through her legs, and kicked Bunny away to tag in Jay. Jay went for the Queen Slayer but Rose broke it up. Soho came in and gave Rose the No Future kick in response. Blue jumped off the top rope to the floor to ripe them both out. Bunny went for a roll up on Jay but didn’t get three. Jay put the Queen Slayer on again and this time Bunny tapped out!

Penta Oscuro vs. Max Caster

Oscuro (with Alex Abrahantes) brought a record of 61-31 to the ring. Caster: “Yo. Listen. Listen, Yo.” (52-26 for Caster.) “The Acclaimed here nobody stopping us. Why is Penta hanging out with Count Chocula? Your new look is not great. Two grown men and they going through a goth phase. And Pittsburgh you’ve got to stop. I mean some of y’all are voting for Dr. Oz. And Penta, I heard you’re pequeño. And your name is short for pendejo!”

He’s brave to be saying such things to Penta — brave or muy estupido. Even with Anthony Bowens there watching his back, the two nearly fled when Oscuro reacted poorly to his words. Bowens kept interfering while the ref was distracted and even thought he could rip Oscuro’s mask off. Big mistake. Oscuro pinned Caster with a knee from behind and tried to rip something else off — his arm! That was the end of the match and of Elevation this week.

What to watch/skip

This week’s “what to watch/skip” for Elevation is brought to you by (what else) “Kaze Ni Nare.” If you only watch one thing, watch Grandpa Murder destroy QT Marshall. If you only watch two things, add Julia Hart vs. Kris Statlander. Three things? Oscuro vs. Caster. You can skip John Silver’s match because there was absolutely nothing to it, and you can skip the ten man tag because I’ve seen algebraic formulas that made more sense. I’m on the fence about Cutler vs. Takeshita. It was fun but I felt it would have been better if it was half as long and Takeshita killed him twice as much. A good episode on the whole.

Cageside commentary crew! Share your feedback and thoughts in the comments section below. See you tomorrow night for AEW Dark!