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CM Punk sings the Golden Girls theme song on his AEW Dark debut

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CM Punk has been making the rounds on all of AEW’s programming. First was Rampage. Next was Dynamite. Now, it is time for Dark. Punk closed out the special Saturday night edition by singing the Golden Girls theme song to the crowd.

Fresh off Jurassic Express’ victory in the main event, CM Punk’s music hit. Excalibur stiffed Punk on a handshake, because the masked man lacked peripheral vision. Taz was not buying that excuse while busting chops.

Once in the ring, Punk was tasked with sending the crowd home happy. Naturally, he broke out in tune to Jungle Boy’s theme song. Punk praised the crowd for being so into the shows, teased a match with Jungle Boy, and thanked the fans for being friends by singing the Golden Girls theme song. Jungle Boy was too young to know the lyrics.

Punk’s parting message was that AEW values feedback from fans. Cheer, boo, have fun, make it a party. For those that hate-watch, Punk is not interested in that negativity. Those people can shut up. Punk added an expletive, to which the crowd chanted.

Let’s blitz through the results and promos from Dark. Watch the show here.

Excalibur, Taz, and Ricky Starks handled commentary. Justin Roberts was in charge of introductions.

2point0 defeated Rosario Grillo & Hunter Knott. A double-team slingshot into the ropes did the trick. Afterward, Daniel Garcia cinched in a rear naked choke on Grillo just because.

Vickie Guerrero and Nyla Rose want us to not act surprised when history repeats and the Native Beast wins the Casino Battle Royale again.

Wheeler Yuta defeated Baron Black. Yuta utilized a fancy pants roll-up to match his fancy pants.

Julia Hart defeated Heather Reckless. Hart may have injured her knee during the contest. She still won via a running splits bulldog.

Dark aired the full press conference for Jon Moxley and Satoshi Kojima that partially aired on Rampage. The full segment was much better than only the clip. Moxley is big game hunting in NJPW and put over Kojima as a worthy victim. Moxley wondered what kind of death wish Kojima desires for choosing to sign the contract. Once the bell rings, Moxley won’t think twice about ending Kojima. As for Kojima’s response, he stated that he will kick Moxley’s ass. Mox perked up, pushed the table over, and pie-faced Kojima leading to fisticuffs. Just like that, I’m 100% sold on seeing the fight.

Nyla Rose and Jade Cargill attacked Julia Hart to injure her knee with a chair.

Hikaru Shida defeated Missa Kate. The former champ put her opponent away with a Falcon Arrow slam.

Red Velvet defeated Skye Blue. Velvet withstood a rally to connect on the Final Slice finisher.

Bunny and Penelope Ford have each other’s backs in the Casino Battle Royale. One of them is winning, and there is nothing anybody can do to stop that. They don’t care whose face has to be ripped off or whose eyes have to be gouged out.

Tony Khan offered Sky Blue a spot in the Casino Battle Royale as an injury replacement for Hart.

Shawn Spears & Wardlow defeated Brandon Gore & JDX. Tully Blanchard was physical on the floor with a running knee to the gut. Wardlow smashed a pair of powerbombs. He hit a third powerbomb dropping JDX onto Gore. After Wardlow’s hanging corner knee KO, he dragged the limp body over for Spears to pick up the pin. Spears added insult to injury by grinding his forearm into the poor schlub’s face.

John Silver & 10 defeated Zachariah & Ren Jones. Silver executed a strongman double stack Samoan drop.

10 wrapped it up with the full nelson submission.

Penelope Ford defeated Queen Aminata. A flexible Muta Lock submission earned the win.

Jade Cargill was flanked by Mark Stirling. The other women may think they can get lucky and win the Casino Battle Royale. However, the house always wins, and this house belongs to that bitch.

Frankie Kazarian defeated Dean Alexander. Kaz picked up steam to close with the crossface chickenwing submission.

Jade Cargill defeated Blair Onyx. Spinebuster, pump kick, Glam Slam.

Thunder Rosa was livid about the attack from Nyla Rose and Jade Cargill earlier in the week. She has held multiple championships all over the world. She will kick their asses and become the #1 contender. Dr. Britt Baker DMD can no longer dodge her.

Jurassic Express defeated Chaos Project. Luchasaurus cleaned house on the hot tag. A double-team powerbomb finished Serpentico.

For the watch list, I assume you already viewed the Punk closing by the time you reached this point in the recap. The Moxley press conference is double thumbs up. All the promos were interesting. Most of the men’s matches involved the stars hitting cool moves en route to victory. Most of the women’s matches were more active providing valuable experience.

Share your thoughts on Dark. Which performances stood out to you?