AEW Dark recap (Mar. 30, 2021): Miro wants to eat hearts

Episode 82 of AEW Dark featured a new finisher from Diamante, chemistry issues from Team Taz, and destruction from Miro.

Miro is a very hungry and very angry man. He competed with Kip Sabian in a warm-up against Baron Black & John Skyler. Penelope Ford was ringside. Miro trash-talked with Black prior to the bell and violently blasted the man. Miro tossed Black over the guardrail. Miro then focused on dominating Skyler. Sabian lounged on the apron chatting with his bride. He never entered the match. Miro feasted with a thrust kick and a Game Over camel clutch.

AEW Dark

After the win, Miro yelled into the camera about eating the heart, liver, and intestines of Orange Cassidy and Chuck Taylor during the Arcade Anarchy match on Dynamite. He was upset about them wasting his time. Harsh but effective trash-talk to hype the match.

Here’s the Dark lineup with ratings (Dynamite, competitive, showcase, squash) on which matches are worth your time toward Dynamite:

• Butcher & Blade vs. Milk Chocolate (showcase)
• Jazmin Allure vs. Madi Wrenkowski (showcase)
• Chaos Project vs. Dean Alexander & Justin Law (showcase)
• Sonny Kiss vs. Angelico (competitive)
• Evil Uno, Stu Grayson, & Colt Cabana vs. Vary Morales, Bill Collier, & D3 (showcase)
• Adam Priest & KC Navarro vs. Jurassic Express (squash)
• Vipress vs. Diamante (showcase)
• Jake St. Patrick, Sage Scott, & Chandler Hopkins vs. Team Taz (squash)
• Big Swole, Red Velvet, & KiLynn King vs. Ashley Vox, Delmi Exo, & Vertvixen (competitive)
• Michael Nakazawa vs. Mike Magnum (showcase)
• Baron Black & John Skyler vs. Miro & Kip Sabian (squash)
• Max Caster vs. Alex Reynolds (competitive)

Kiss versus Angelico is my top pick as a battle of agility and llaves. The women’s trios bout was entertaining with fiery fisticuffs. Reynolds fought with heart after a potential arm injury. In terms of stories, Team Taz had more passive aggressive attitude within the ranks, and Diamante used a new choke in preparation for Thunder Rosa.

Watch the show here.

Excalibur teamed with Taz to call the action. Anthony Ogogo and Leva Bates stopped by to join commentary. Justin Roberts was the ring announcer.

Butcher & Blade defeated Milk Chocolate. Matt Hardy, Bunny, and Private Party were ringside. Whenever Milk Chocolate had the slightest of momentum, the Hardy Empire would cause a distraction. Hardy even slammed Brandon Watts onto the timekeeper table. Butcher and Blade melted Milk Chocolate with a teamwork powerbomb neckbreaker on Watts for victory.

Madi Wrenkowski defeated Jazmin Allure. Leva Bates was on commentary. She was salty toward her current rival. Wrenkowski rallied for a spinning side slam and an axe kick to pin Allure.

Chaos Project defeated Dean Alexander & Justin Law. Luther dominated with slams and suplexes when in the ring. A hot tag to Luther lead to the Chaos Project’s teamwork Meteora spinebuster finisher.

Angelico defeated Sonny Kiss. Jack Evans and Joey Janela were ringside. Evans became physically involved with a punch, so Janela chased him away before more damage could be done to Kiss. Angelico used veteran savvy to triumph. He pulled Kiss off the ropes during a springboard then snatched a leg for the Navarro Death Roll submission.

Max Caster had a backstage promo for his match against Alex Reynolds. Anthony Bowens is back to watch Caster’s back from the Dark Order creeps. Caster is going to make a mark and show why everyone loves the Acclaimed.

Evil Uno, Stu Grayson, & Colt Cabana defeated Vary Morales, Bill Collier, & D3. The Dark Order had trouble handling Collier’s strength, but they were able to beat up the smaller opponents. Dark Order cleared the ring with big moves for Cabana to pin D3 off the Chicago Skyline.

Jurassic Express defeated Adam Priest & KC Navarro. Luchasaurus and Marko Stunt represented Jurassic Express in the ring, and Jungle Boy was on the outside for support. After Stunt styled with speed, Luchasaurus promptly ended the match with a double chokeslam.

Diamante defeated Vipress. La Sicaria turned the tide by blocking a kick and smashing Vipress on the apron. Back in the ring, three straight clotheslines paved the way for a straitjacket choke with a bodyscissors.

Team Taz defeated Jake St. Patrick, Sage Scott, & Chandler Hopkins. Hook was ringside. Ricky Starks had a little trouble early. When Brian Cage reached out for the tag, Starks purposely slapped hands with Will Hobbs instead. Hobbs went on a rampage. Hook even got involved for a gutwrench suplex on the floor. Hobbs intended to tag in Cage. The machine was a little slow, so Starks intercepted the Hobbs’ offering. Starks hit Roshambo, but Cage tagged himself in. A Drill Claw completed the victory. Team Taz celebrated with Starks trying to play it cool but clearly annoyed.

Big Swole, Red Velvet, & KiLynn King defeated Ashley Vox, Delmi Exo, & Vertvixen. The winners took over the back and forth affair in the end by pummeling Vertvixen with a roundhouse kick by King, a rolling elbow by Swole, and a spin kick by Velvet to win.

After the match, Jade Cargill came out on stage to shout toward Velvet. No physical action took place in the encounter.

Michael Nakazawa defeated Mike Magnum. Nak wrestled in an office outfit. The contest had comedic flavor. Nakazawa recovered from a DDT and a neckbreaker to escape a fireman’s carry position. He pulled the referee in front of a charging Magnum, then he hit his opponent with a laptop. A tombstone piledriver with a 69 cover was the climax.

Max Caster defeated Alex Reynolds. Caster rapped about Reynolds hiding bald spots and running a train on the Dark Order. Anthony Bowens and John Silver were ringside. Reynolds may have legitimately injured his arm on a flying crossbody. He refrained from using it as best he could during the remainder of the match. Caster went to work on the weak spot. Despite the pain, Reynolds fought with fire and desire. Bowens saved Caster by placing his foot on the ropes to break a pin from a pop-up knee strike. Reynolds went high risk and missed a moonsault. Caster retrieved his boombox, but Silver grabbed it away. Behind the referee’s back, Caster wrapped his fist with his gold chain to wallop Reynolds. A flying elbow drop earned the W.

Quick thoughts this week. Diamante’s fierce chokehold has me pumped for her brewing beef with Thunder Rosa. I like seeing wrestlers work out new moves on Dark. It is an appropriate platform to expand the offensive arsenal. Diamante is going to need every trick she can muster to topple Thunder Rosa.

Taz singing along to Jungle Boy’s theme continues to be my favorite part of Dark. I could listen to a supercut of Taz crooning on loop. Biddly, ba, ba.

Bill Collier looked sharp with power moves after his beating from Jon Moxley on Dark: Elevation. I would like to see more of him on Dark.

Ashley Vox had her name on the big screen, so she might be in store for a more frequent role. Delmi Exo is her sister and tag team partner. They would be a good addition to get a run on the lower levels in AEW.

Share your thoughts on Dark. Who stood out most for episode 82? Which was your favorite match?