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AEW Dark Elevation recap (Oct. 4, 2021): Aba(n)don all hope, all ye who enter

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Episode 31 of AEW Dark: Elevation is in the books! If you missed the live broadcast click here for the Cageside Seats stream. Let’s go over what went down on Elevation this week. The announce team was Paul Wight, Tony Schiavone and Eddie Kingston. ‘Tis the season for Halloween’n so let’s get spook-tacular with it!

Emi Sakura (w/ Lulu Pencil) vs. Skye Blue

Skye Blue brought a record of 0-5 to the opening contest of Elevation. Unlike most people with a record like that she actually got her own entrance. Emi Sakura brought a record of 6-1 to the fight. Someone brought a “GIVE US LULU” sign to the match which made Kingston inordinately happy. Sakura distracted the referee to check on her shoulder while Pencil stomped on Blue on the outside. Blue tried a couple of times to fire up with forearms to no avail. Her hurricanrana worked a little better as did her flying crossbody, but it was only a near fall as was her superkick (Sakura grabbed the ropes on that one). Sakura finished her off with The Queen’s Gambit and Pencil ran in to show Sakura how long the match took.

2point0 & Daniel Garcia vs. Shane Stetson, Justin Corino, 1ManThrillRide

Neither team had a trios record going into this match, but 2Point0 & Garcia got an entrance while their opponents were already waiting in the ring. Two for the Show was just a set up for Garcia to do a sharpshooter and try to rip a man’s leg off. Squash-tastic.

Wardlow & Shawn Spears (w/ Tully Blanchard) vs. Marko Stunt & Fuego Del Sol

Wardlow and Spears came into this match a perfect 5-0 as a team. Fuego Del Sol and Marko Stunt had only teamed once before Elevation, but they were also unblemished at 1-0. Fuego showed off his athleticism early to embarrass Spears, at which points he tagged in Wardlow, and despite the gigantic size difference Stunt tagged in to face him. Stunt got a couple of chops and a drop kick before being thrown in the air and slammed down with authority. Spears tagged back in and looked at Fuego to say “Watch this! I can fly too.” Every time he went up to the top rope though Stunt rolled out of the way. He hit an enzuigiri and tagged Fuego in. Wardlow tried to clean house but the rope got pulled down to send him to the floor. Spears stacked them up for a double C4 and tagged in Wardlow. Wardlow laid out Stunt and Fuego, called for Spears, and the Casualty of War finished Stunt off.

Lance Archer (w/ Jake Roberts) vs. Louis Bruno

Archer brought his 23-3 record to the ring along with his manager Jake “The Snake” Roberts. Bruno was waiting for him in the ring to make his AEW debut, and for once Archer was facing a taller man! He decked Archer before the opening bell and went out to confront Roberts. Big mistake. Roberts decked Bruno and Archer hit him with a cannonball. Back in the ring Archer took him down with a crossbody, did a couple of running strikes to the corner, then picked up Bruno off the top rope for a Blackout. Despite his opponent’s size this was just another squishy squash for Archer. “No matter how big or small, everybody dies!”

Abadon vs. Davienne

Abadon crawled out to the entrance ramp sporting a record of 20-2 to date in AEW. Davienne was waiting for her in the ring with a record of 0-1, soon to be 0-2 in the promotion. It took barely a minute for Abadon to hit the face crusher and pin her. The announce team put over her new mohawk, her zombie look, and how scary she was in general before throwing to a video package from The Gunn Club. The best news here was that they teased that October is “Abadon’s month” so we should see much more of her!

Santana & Ortiz vs. Kodama & Obariyon

The Proud & Powerful team of Santana & Ortiz came in with a record of 9-3 and their own intimidating face paint on. Kodama & Obariyon were waiting in the ring for them as Mark Henry joined commentary for this match. If this lasted more than a minute it certainly wasn’t two. Commentary spent more time talking about Paul Wight on Elevation last week.

Kris Statlander (w/ Chuck Taylor & Trent) vs. B3cca

Statlander came in 19-1 and brought her “Best Friends” with her. The unknown entity named B3cca was waiting for her in the ring to make her AEW debut. Statlander caught her in the air on a crossbody, booped her on the nose, and immediately gave her The Big Bang Theory piledriver for the finish. This was another incredibly fast match. She and Bryce Remsburg took turns doing twirls in the ring before the Best Friends joined her for a pose.

The Acclaimed vs. Colin Delaney & Cheech

It was time for Max Caster to rap again. “Wait, that’s Colin Delaney? I thought that was an extra from The Real Slim Shady.” He then said Cheech had a head like a penis. (Where’s Cloudy?) As Caster’s raps go this was one of his less offensive performances. Bowens got reversed by Cheech and Delaney got the hot tag. He ate a thrust kick for his trouble and Caster got tagged in for a double leg sweep and a running knee. Delaney made a comeback with a cutter for a near fall and started throwing forearms. Caster slammed him down and tagged Bowens in, who was busy giving Cloudy a neckbreaker from the ropes. Caster hit a Mic Drop from the top and Bowens made the easy cover for three.

FTR (w/ Tully Blanchard) vs. Elijah Dean & Zach Nystrom

Blanchard returned to accompany FTR, sporting a tag team record of 21-3, while Dean and Nystrom were (say it with me) “already in the ring” and “making their AEW debut.” They IMMEDIATELY hit the Big Rig finisher without even taking their jackets off and Dax looked around for a moment before making the pin. That was the biggest squash on Elevation yet!

Sonny Kiss vs. KM

Sonny Kiss got the well deserved main event this week, sporting a singles record of 9-10 while KM was waiting in the ring with no AEW record thus far. KM worked over the back as commentary noted it was previously injured by Joey Janela and Kayla Rossi. Kiss lifted up the larger KM despite said back injury and did a split into a jawbreaker to get the pin. Before she could even celebrate Rossi made her way to the ring to get in Kiss’ face. Janela tried to use it as a distraction to attack with a steel chair but Kiss smelled it coming, nailed Janela and stole the chair! The heels ran away despite having the two on one advantage, which just made me smile from ear to ear.

What to watch/skip

Tonight’s “what to watch/skip” is brought to you by Rob Zombie. I can’t even tell you to skip anything this week because a lot of the matches were incredibly short and the show flew by. The highlight of the show was Kiss vs. KM, followed closely by the incredible makeup job for Abadon. Those pinhole contacts she wears are something else too. Her look just makes you wish Halloween came more than once a year. There were no major surprises other than seeing Colin Delaney. WWECW lives? Well even zombies can rise from the grave in October.

Cageside commentary crew! Get up off your seats and leave your feedback in the comments below. See you tomorrow night for AEW Dark unless a “Living Dead Girl” gets you first!