All Elite Wrestling comes our way from the KeyBank Center in Buffalo, and it’s the All Out fallout show. And when I say fallout, I mean nuclear.
At All Out, Tay & Sammy celebrated their marriage with a win over Ortiz & Ruby. HOOK got an assist from Action Bronson to send the goons from the Jericho Appreciation Society scampering. The All-Atlantic Championship was finally defended on US soil when PAC rightfully beat the packing tape right out of Kip Sabian. Naturally, this caused Kip to mentally snap and turn his cardboard box into Wilson, and then Orange Cassidy came out just to spice things up. Eddie Kingston & Tomohiro Ishii threw down hard, with Eddie ultimately winning while the crowd chanted, “this is awesome!” A “mysterious” Joker entered the Casino Ladder Match, refused to unmask, and won a future title shot. The Elite became the first ever AEW Trios Champions when they sadly defeated The Dark Order & Hangman Page. Jade Cargill defeated Athena to retain her TBS championship and continued to be That Bitch by confusing all the old men on commentary when she dressed like She-Hulk. Wardlow pinned Jay Lethal despite Lethal having excellent trios partners in Motor City Machine Guns. Always a poor loser, though, Lethal and his gang tried to take out FTR & Wardlow after the match but were foiled by a returning Samoa Joe and Dax’s badass daughter. Powerhouse Hobbs soundly defeated his former tag partner Ricky Starks, jumpstarting The Absolute’s underdog run. In a good but obvious match, Swerve in Our Glory retained their tag team championships over The Acclaimed. Toni Storm became the new Interim Women’s World Champion. Luchasuarus proved that you can never trust a dinosaur when he turned on Jungle Boy and handed Christian Cage an easy win. Chris Jericho cheated to pin Bryan Danielson because Chris Jericho isn’t allowed to lose ever, I guess. Malakai Black got black mist in his eyes courtesy of Sting and then got pinned by Darby Allin. Embarrassing. And finally, Old Man CM Punk struggled his way to a win over Jon Moxley to win the World Championship, but his celebration was cut short by The Devil Himself, aka MJF.
This Week’s Headliner
CM Punk is the World Champion again, but he’s also a big baby who loves to start shit, so now he’s in a fight with the entire AEW locker room? And it might be a shoot, but omg is it a wooooork? And frankly, I’m exhausted because I can suspend my disbelief a lot as a wrestling fan, but I cannot suspend my disbelief enough to get behind struggling CM Punk defeating I DRINK BLOOD FOR FUN Jon Moxley, so this whole thing was already like “meh” and also MJF is back I guess so was that a work or shoot or a shoot that turned into a work?? Also, CM Punk might be fired today?? Honestly, I almost wish we all thought this was real again and that Kayfabe was alive and well because ya girl is TIRED. Anyways read more about it here and here because I am done thinking about it forever.
I hope Colt Cabana is having a nice day.
The Title Scene
Surprising no one, I am a salty dog that The Elite are the first ever AEW Trios Champions. I mean, sure, they deserve it or whatever, and Kenny coming back and winning gold is a good story but doggonit I wanted The Dark Order to win a big match!! The (John) silver lining here is that there is no way that this feud is over. There is TOO much history here and as the cowboys say, Yee Haw! This of course is assuming that the new trios champions aren’t suspended due to all of the aforementioned drama. We shall see.
All is right in the world because PAC destroyed Kip Sabian to retain his All-Atlantic Championship. Tonight we can leave all that behind us as The Best Friends take on Death Triangle in trios action and the build to Orange Cassidy versus PAC begins.
Do you know what time it FINALLY is?? IT’S TONI TIME! She’s the new Interim Women’s World Champion! What do you think the likelihood is of her actually getting any screen time to celebrate tonight amidst all the fallout drama?? I’m personally not holding my breath.
I don’t know about you, but I think that Wardlow should relinquish his TNT Championship to Dax’s daughter. She deserves it. What’s more likely to happen is we’ll see Wardlow, FTR & Samoa Joe continue their unlikely team-up to keep beating up Jay Lethal and his friends. #1 rule of this preview post is always beat up Jay Lethal and his friends.
I guess the TBS Championship is Jade’s forever because I legit cannot think of a single person alive (and signed) that can take it off her. Also, where was Stokely? Did she fire him?? Give me THAT backstage drama.
Swerve in Our Glory are still the Tag Team Champions because they are too cool to lose.
Does the FTW Champion have a new tag partner in Action Bronson or was that just a one-time thing? Perhaps he’ll demand a title shot of HOOK, or even more unlikely, he might demand that HOOK share his Doritos. Perish the thought.
Other things to keep an eye on:
- WILL THEY LET MAX CASTER RAP ABOUT CM PUNK???
-Additionally, will they let Colt Cabana punch CM Punk right in the face?
-I guess we’ll also 100% be hearing from Chris Jericho and his goons when they gloat about defeating Danielson.
-What happens when you black mist a man who is full of black mist? Does it cancel itself out? Is Malaki Black now an agent of the light? Maybe God should recruit him in his way against Miro? Just spitballing here.
-They better give me an update on Ricky Stark and his neck!!
-They better give me an update on Jungle Boy and his spirit!!
-They better give me Eddie Kingston reciting poetry again! (for real, I loved that. He’s the best).
-Should we start a Change.org petition to let Colt Cabana punch CM Punk right in the face?
Tune into AEW on TBS at 8pm E.T. — and join us in our live blog — to see how all this plays out.