It’s March 16. March is the third month of the year. Steve Austin’s pro wrestling career skyrocketed into the hemisphere when he cut a promo that mocked Jake Roberts’ character’s bible thumping ways while unveiling his own “Austin 3:16 says I just whooped your ass” catch phrase, and that children, is why today is Steve Austin Day.
3/16 is a reason for WWE, wrestling fans, and the folks in the world at large who recognize the Texas Rattlesnake as one of the coolest S.O.B.s to ever show up on the pop culture radar to celebrate old Stone Cold. One of the ways The ‘E (and the wrestling fans under contract to them) occasionally do that is with a video reenacting Austin’s famous promo from after he won the 1996 King of the Ring tournament.
Whenever WWE busts one of these out, they’re fun. If nothing else, it’s a reason to listen to Austin’s god-tier promo. There’s always something else about them, whether it’s how many of the wrestlers from the 2016 edition are no longer with the company. Or the time they gave the whole thing to Becky Lynch when they were overbooking her WrestleMania feud with Ronda Rousey to shoe-horn in the McMahons.
This year’s is pretty straight-forward. As you can tell from the headline, Tez and Bay are the standouts for me. Asuka gets an honorable mention for her reading of the line “get that piece of crap out of my ring”...
Happy 3:16! And that’s the bottom line...