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MLW Roundup: Contra preventing league return, Von Erich bonkers promo, more!

Let’s catch up on the week’s news in MLW and preview Saturday night’s episode of MLW Underground.

MLW is close to returning to the ring, but there is no official confirmation yet. As a sign that the comeback is serious, MLW hired a COVID-19 compliance officer. The press release states that, “This newly designated position is responsible for establishing and enforcing COVID-19 safety protocols, training staff, and monitoring compliance on all sets and venues.” This is another positive step toward getting back in the game in the near future.

The coronavirus may be the least of MLW’s worries. They still have another virus to deal with. That disease goes by the name of Contra. The Contra Unit executed a hostile takeover of MLW’s operations back on May 9. In a flex of power last week, Contra hacked the feed for episode 7 of MLW Underground. Josef Samael reminded the world that Contra is in control.

Samael also had a message regarding MLW’s plans to return.

A restart? How can one ‘restart’ something they have no power over? MLW died May 9th and now CONTRA feeds off its carcass and grows stronger. Our soldiers grow in numbers and now it is MLW and its American bravado that lurks in the shadows, broken and defeated. Desperate!

This MLW propaganda is rhetoric! Spin!

MLW whimpers like a three-legged dog awaiting mercy. CONTRA shows none. Try and rise up and our crusaders will extinguish you without remorse.


Josef Samael

That’s a pretty compelling case from Samael. MLW better hatch a plot or offer a sweet deal to entice Contra into doing business.

Pulp Fusion

MLW’s storylines rumbled onward in Pulp Fusion. Marshall Von Erich channeled his inner craziness for a wild promo, Logan Creed had freaky eyes, and Richard Holliday crashed Alicia Atout’s gig.

The format of Pulp Fusion is a quick cut montage of promos intermixed with each other. Let’s break it down.

  • Unsolved Filthy Mysteries investigated the disappearance of Dominic Garrini. Tom Lawlor revealed a composite sketch of Garrini. I believe the joke was that he resembled Mickey Rooney.
  • Gino Medina rolled up in his ride. He’s done with the Dynasty. Medina only has time for the mamacitas.
  • Alicia Atout interviewed Rich Bocchini. He grew his hair out to look like Milhouse from The Simpsons. Richard Holliday butted onto the scene after threats of legal action from his lawyer/father. Atout went from the Dynastic Rich to the bottom of the barrel Rich. Holliday is considering forcing Bocchini to change his first name. Holliday was named co-host by the network. Atout and Holliday humorously bickered, while Bocchini walked away. Holliday is convinced that Atout has a crush on him.
  • Salina de la Renta is playing the game, not getting played. We can wait for her big surprise.
  • Konnan pointed out Salina’s business failures.
  • Alexander Hammerstone stacked his shopping cart with beef. He hopes everybody remembers what he is capable of when MLW returns. It will be a nightmare for whoever underestimates him.
  • Jordan Oliver was back angling for a title fight against Jacob Fatu.
  • Logan Creed painted his face and revealed reptile eyes.
  • LA Park’s daughters danced, then papa strutted with a handbag.
  • Marshall Von Erich went crazy on a promo in the rain from Hawaii. There is no wild boar that can withstand the iron claw. In the depths of the ocean, there is no shark that can handle the iron claw. He needs a human being for the iron claw. Ross reminded him that MLW is returning soon. The roster will be getting it.
  • Aria Blake sat on Colonel Parker’s lap. I couldn’t hear what she said, but it tickled the Colonel’s funny bone.

Marshall Von Erich was the show-stealer for this episode. I love far-out promos in LOUD VOICES. His imagery of the iron claw on boars and sharks should be animated. The Von Erich family needs a Jonny Quest type of show. Even those little white dogs wrestling in the background reminded me of Bandit.

What’s up with Logan Creed’s reptile eyes? Is he going to infiltrate Contra headquarters like a crocodile through the sewer? It would be freaky if he wrestles like that. His new look adds mystique to his giant size.

MLW Underground

In MLW’s blast from the past, tag team champions will be crowned in MLW Underground. The Global Tag-Team Crown Championship tournament final will take place on episode 8 when CW Anderson & Simon Diamond of the Extreme Horsemen battle “Dr. Death” Steve Williams & PJ Friedman.

The preview mentions promos from CM Punk, Los Maximos, Steve Corino getting ready for a no-ropes barbed wire match against Terry Funk, the next challenger revealed for Satoshi Kojima, and LA Park escalating his feud with Sabu.

MLW’s weekly program (Fusion, Anthology, and Underground) airs on beIN SPORTS Saturday nights at 10 pm ET / 7 pm ET. New episodes are posted on YouTube Saturdays at 6:05 pm ET. You can also check out MLW streaming on DAZN. In addition, MLW is broadcast in over 20 countries.

Quick hits

This year’s PWI 500 made news with Jon Moxley as #1. MLW didn’t do too shabby with their talent on that list. Jacob Fatu was the highest at #20. Dave Boy Smith Jr. placed at #89. Alexander Hammerstone was underrated at #98. Hammer was more upset about his listed weight than his ranking.

In total, I counted 17 current roster members from MLW on the PWI 500.

  • 103. Myron Reed
  • 111. Tom Lawlor
  • 140. Brian Pillman Jr.
  • 146. LA Park
  • 149. Hijo de LA Park
  • 172. Mance Warner
  • 198. Richard Holliday
  • 210. Jordan Oliver
  • 279. Erick Stevens
  • 331. Dominic Garrini
  • 338. Low Ki
  • 408. Calvin Tankman
  • 426. Gino Medina
  • 470. Logan Creed

MLW is looking to expand their roster. CEO Court Bauer has his eye on, “top ranked high-profile acquisitions.” It will be interesting to see who MLW can lure. There aren’t many marquee free agents still on the market from WWE’s lengthy list of releases. One name that could be intriguing is EC3. He is currently in a storyline with Impact, but he has stated his desire to work for multiple promotions at the same time. For a different route, MLW could bring in hot middleweights to satiate Myron Reed’s fire and desire to prove himself as champ.

Team Filthy is still on the search for Dominic Garrini, who went missing in the jungles of Brazil while on a quest to find the next member of Team Filthy. Revenue from Unsolved Filthy Mysteries shirts are supposedly going toward the cause, although, the press release seems a little shady when Team Filthy was asked if that money will actually assist the search for Garrini.

When pressed by during a Zoom call today, a Team Filthy representative extinguished a cigarette, belched and said, “Look, this search stuff could take a long time. We have a whole fight team and trainees committed to searching Rio, Copacabana, Ipanema… we may just have to go to some of those resort towns in Costa Rica.”

MLW is teasing LA Park’s cooking show could get picked up to become a full-sized weekly program. Even Salina de la Renta is interested in doing a deal for ¡LA Park en la cocina, pendejos!

Beyond TV, Salina is diversifying with a clothing line. She filed for potential trademarks. The best one being Gringo Marks.

Are the MLW rankings fair in the PWI 500? Do you think Dominic Garrini will ever be found? Would you tune in to a weekly cooking show from LA Park?

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