MLW Roundup: Heavyweight title fight, Terry Funk in action, more!

Let’s catch up on the week’s news in MLW and preview Saturday night’s episode of MLW Underground with Terry Funk, Tammy Sytch, Dr. Death, and a World Heavyweight Championship contest.

Pulp Fusion

MLW’s storylines keep on keeping on in Pulp Fusion. Richard Holliday plans to double sue Mance Warner, Injustice had boisterous words in regard to future competitors, and Salina de la Renta threatened to reveal a secret about Konnan.

The format of Pulp Fusion is a quick cut montage of promos intermixed with each other. Let’s break it down.

• Josef Samael of the Contra Unit listed off their victims of violence. MLW has been taken over. The black flag of Contra flies high. MLW’s rise of the renegades has failed.
• King Mo mocked Low Ki’s stance on not wearing masks during the coronavirus pandemic. Low Ki hasn’t been the same since Mo kicked his ass. You can see the CTE symptoms popping up.
• Tom Lawlor left home dressed for his Hawaiian vacation. Kit Osbourne was kept inside the suitcase. Lawlor rushed to the airport. If they miss the flight, then they won’t be getting lei’d.
• Richard Holliday’s lawyer/father is not happy with how the Dynasty’s 4th of July party turned out. They are under legal obligation to sue Mance Warner for ruining the festivities. They tried to sue Mance’s bear, but they couldn’t find its legal name. That means they will double sue Mancer. Holliday is going to visit Martha’s Vineyard to recover from the situation.
• Zenshi lounged in a tree. He’s been champ in Chile and Peru. It’s time he becomes champ in MLW.
• Jordan Oliver is coming for Jacob Fatu and the MLW World Heavyweight Championship. He’s not scared of being beat up. Oliver is from the 845. Recognize. Fatu can’t outlast him. Oliver doesn’t care about Fatu’s lineage or heritage. He only cares about justice. Getting that belt will be justice.
• Konnan referred to Salina de la Renta as a prodigy in this business, but there are people you don’t double-cross. Salina did that, and now they are looking for her. Konnan can either help them or help her.
• Gino Medina demanded his six feet of social distancing.
• Myron Reed wants MLW to sign all the best middleweight talent so he can get the smoke to prove he’s the best.
• Alexander Hammerstone needed guidance from his coach about preparing for the bodybuilding contest. Hammerman practiced poses. The camera panned over to reveal his dog as the coach with a caption suggesting a visit to the Mexican pharmacy.
• Los Parks gossiped about Salina. LA Park guessed that maybe Salina’s secret was about him looking good and manly.
• Colonel Parker giggled while exiting an elevator with Aria Blake on his arm. He has the best time with her.
• Salina closed by claiming she has a juicy secret about Konnan. She threatened to tell if he doesn’t watch his mouth.

Reed and Oliver both had solid promos that pumped me up to see future bouts. I would say they stole the show, if not for the fact that they are delusional. Reed hasn’t done squat as Middleweight Champ. I’m pretty sure he had help from Injustice on every single defense. Hot Fire shouldn’t be acting like he’s hot shit. With Oliver, I burst out laughing at the idea that he could take down Fatu. Not a chance. It is still a matchup I’d like to see though.

There needs to be a little movement on this squabble between Konnan and Salina. They have been teasing to air each other’s dirty laundry ever since Konnan came into possession of Salina’s cell phone almost one year ago. At this point, I’m losing interest in that particular part of their feud.

What’s your take on Injustice’s bravado? Will Konnan or Salina have the last laugh?

MLW Underground

Episode 2 of MLW Underground looks to be a dandy. A very violent dandy. That tends to happen whenever Terry Funk is in a no DQ match. The advertised contests also include a world title fight.

• World Heavyweight Championship: Satoshi Kojima vs Jerry Lynn
• No DQ: Terry Funk vs Chris Candido with Tammy Sytch
• Dr. Death Steve Williams & PJ Friedman tag team bout

Kojima and Lynn square off to become the inaugural champ. Funk’s debut is guaranteed to bring pain. Who did Candido piss off to get that assignment? It is probably safe to blame Sytch (aka Sunny). Steve Corino and the Extreme Horsemen, Fuego Guerrera, Raven, Bill Alfonso, and LA Park will also make an appearance.

Which bout are you looking forward to the most?

MLW’s weekly program (Fusion, Anthology, and Underground) airs on beIN SPORTS Saturday nights at 10 pm ET / 7 pm ET. New episodes are posted on YouTube Saturdays at 6:05 pm ET. You can also check out MLW streaming on DAZN. In addition, MLW is broadcast in over 20 countries.

Quick hits

Hot news alert. Apparently, MLW tried to take back their offices from the Contra Unit, but their forceful effort was extinguished.

Late last night MLW and its security team attempted to retake the league’s headquarters and put an end to CONTRA Unit’s hostile takeover.

While details remain sketchy, MLW.com can confirm that the efforts came up short, with CONTRA’s Sentai Death Squad stomping out the security team and hopes of restoring normalcy.

That story is hysterical. I love thinking about how this played out. Does CEO Court Bauer drive by the league office every day hoping that Contra has been kicked out? Upon seeing the Contra flag flying high, does Bauer settle for the nearest coffee shop with free WiFi to do company business for the day? So many questions. I’m crossing my fingers that we’ll get a documentary one day about Contra’s takeover.

If you missed the update in last week’s MLW Roundup, there was a correction about Brian Pillman Jr.’s contract status. He has more than a year remaining with MLW. Pillman’s contract allows him to work for other promotions as long as it doesn’t interfere with MLW events, thus the current stint with AEW.

MLW continues breaking in to new markets. They have reached a deal for DAZN Brasil. MLW is also considering new areas for live events. Hawaii and Puerto Rico are contenders to host an island show in 2021.

Mance Warner has joined Cameo. His promo price is a very affordable $15. Ole Mancer truly is a man of the people.

Alexander Hammerstone’s bodybuilding competition is scheduled for the first week of August. MLW claims it will be held at Muscle Mountain in Arizona. That’s some Inception level stuff with “Muscle Mountain” being at Muscle Mountain. The event will be open to the, “most jacked physical specimens in the world.” What about the juiciest? Anyway, Hammerman has a new shirt for the ceremony.

MLW started selling new face masks. The designs are MLW, LA Park, Contra Unit, and Injustice.

We’ll finish with some silliness from Salina de la Renta. Enjoy her tantrum about not getting a pink purse.

What’s your prediction for how MLW finally retakes power away from Contra?