Who am the tag team champions?

Ah yes, it’s Survivor Series time, the only time of the year that Raw and SmackDown go head-to-head that wonderful time when brand allegiance rules above all and the build to the matches doesn’t matter!

Okay okay, that’s being a little harsh, but hey, at least this tag team match is gonna rule, right? Since there’s not exactly a lot of backstory to go on, let’s just break some facts down about each tag team, shall we?

New Day (Big E & Kofi Kingston)

Teaming since: July 2014 (5 years, 4 months)

Accomplishments: 2-time WWE Raw Tag Team Champions, 5-time WWE SmackDown Tag Team Champions, 1-time WWE Champion (Kingston), 5-time WWE Intercontinental Champion (4 Kingston, 1 E), 3-time WWE United States Champion (Kingston), 1-time NXT Champion (E), had a breakfast cereal made in their image, Big E got that thigh meat

Greatest strength: If there’s a tag team in WWE that shares a tighter and closer bond of brotherhood than New Day, I’ll go buy a hat and eat it. They have a strong argument at being the greatest tag team in WWE history, and the variable nature of their lineup means that tag divisions that were ready to face a team of E and Xavier Woods isn’t going to be as prepared to see Kofi Kingston on the apron across from them.

Biggest weakness: With Xavier Woods on the shelf, the heart and soul of the team is, well, not cut off exactly, but his presence will be missed all the same. New Day had their earliest successes as a team of E and Kofi, but with Xavier’s impressive managerial acumen at ringside playing a huge part. That plus Kingston coming off of a long singles run as WWE Champion, and you have to consider that this is perhaps not the most effective iteration of New Day to overcome the challenge of facing the Raw and NXT champs.

Undisputed ERA (Bobby Fish & Kyle O’Reilly)

Teaming since: November 2012 (7 years)

Accomplishments: 2-time NXT Tag Team Champions, 2-time IWGP Junior Heavyweight Tag Team Champions, 3-time ROH World Tag Team Champions, 1-time PWG World Champion (O’Reilly), 1-time ROH World Champion (O’Reilly), 1-time ROH World Television Champion (Fish), got to keep their names

Greatest strength: The longest-running team in this match, Fish and O’Reilly have been one of the smoothest tag teams in the world for a long time now. They aren’t the only tag team in the match that’s been successful in tag divisions around the world, and they aren’t the only tag team in the match whose members have won major singles titles, but they are the only tag team in the match that’s done both.

Biggest weakness: Undisputed ERA are coming into this match off a WarGames match at TakeOver the night before, and that will not only mean they’re almost certainly coming in banged up or possibly even injured, but that the assistance of Adam Cole and Roderick Strong, usually a shadow looming over all of the erstwhile reDRagon’s matches, may be unavailable, especially with both men in their own matches at Survivor Series. And in a three-way where there are no disqualifications, that may well be the thing that costs Fish and O’Reilly the match.

Viking Raiders (Erik & Ivar)

Teaming since: February 2014 (5 years, 9 months)

Accomplishments: 1-time WWE Raw Tag Team Champions, 1-time NXT Tag Team Champions, 1-time ROH World Tag Team Champions, 2-time IWGP Tag Team Champions, have had three different tag team names in WWE, “Warbeard” is a top five nickname

Greatest strength: I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but Ivar weighs 300 pounds and he’s out here throwing cartwheels and moonsaults. Erik is one of the toughest men in WWE, having returned to wrestling after a motorcycle accident that doctors said should have killed him. They’re big, scary dudes, is what I’m saying here.

Biggest weakness: Viking Raiders don’t exactly have the most cohesive identity. Yes, they’ve been highly athletic hard-hitting big men everywhere they’ve gone, and their image isn’t substantially different, but they never really cosplayed as vikings to the degree they are now before coming to the main roster. It’s something of a strange turn for two men that have historically been no-nonsense brawlers, and their dedication to “the raid” may be the thing that leads to their undoing— Ray Rowe and Hanson could win this match, but Erik and Ivar? I’m not so sure.

Who gets to win the day for tag team brand supremacy, Cagesiders?