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Impact Wrestling results, review, & video (Aug. 2, 2018): What a Jerk

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Impact Wrestling returned last night (Aug. 2) from the Rebel Complex in Toronto, Ontario, Canada. You can find the results in the live blog here.

What a Jerk

Austin Aries defended his title against Anthony Carelli’s student, Dustin Cameron.

And he didn’t take it seriously at all.

He didn’t wear ring gear, instead meandering to the ring with a polo and slacks eating a banana. And that’s how he wrestled. (To be fair, that’s what he was wearing when he won the title the night he returned.)

When the young Cameron landed a couple hip tosses, Aries decided to stop toying with him and end it. He delivered his brain buster but then pulled the kid up before the referee could count three. (A great heel move we don’t see any more.) When he went for another, Carelli threw in the towel.

Aries still added some punishment, locking in the Last Chancery until Carelli ran into the ring. The two men stared each other down, the champ begging Carelli to fight him. Anthony kicked him in the dick for it.

Austin retreated to the ramp but he wasn’t safe there. Eddie Edwards, who will challenge him for the title next week, walked out and hit him with a kendo stick.

Despite not knowing why a wrestling student was awarded a world title match, this was a very good segment, much of it due to the asshole personality of the champ. He didn’t take this seriously at all, and not taking any title match seriously is in itself a heel move.

Then he was a total a-hole about things, toying with the poor kid and then attacking him post match.

So when Carelli kicked him in the stones, it was very rewarding.

I don’t know if Carelli can actually wrestle or not. It would feel like they’re headed towards a match between the two (and if so, the start of the build has been good) but his neck injury ended his WWE career. If not, they’ll need to somehow shift the heat of their issues elsewhere.

As for Eddie, I’m surprised he’s already getting a title match. Before this set of tapings, they made title shots uncommon enough to feel special. This week’s was clearly a joke (though a championship match nonetheless). When it comes to Eddie, after his great story with Sami and then Tommy Dreamer, there should be more of a build.

It’ll likely end up being a cog in a different story than a spotlight title match. But any title match should feel big, even if the outcome isn’t in doubt.


Bridesmaids in the way

Allie teamed up with Kiera Hogan to defeat Su Yung and her undead maid of honor. Allie got the pin on the champ, likely inserting her into the title picture.

I enjoy the persona of Su Yung, but her matches have not really clicked. Part of the problem is she comes to the ring with a gaggle of undead women who don’t seem like much of a threat at all. They blocked they ring at the start of the match this week, and Kiera and Allie dropped them with ease. After that, they didn’t bother interfering again.

Having a handful of women at ringside is tough to book around. They’re either too much or too weak. They’re a great visual for the entrances but their a burden for the match itself. You always have to wonder why they all don’t try to distract when they’re out there. But when they do, it really gets old quickly. There’s no easy way to book around them when they’re around the ring.

After the match, Tessa Blanchard ran down and immediately dropped Allie with her hammerlock DDT.

Good.

It’d be a bit frustrating to see Allie get another title match (which pinning the champ in a tag match often leads to) when she just lost on pay-per-view. Well the woman who beat her on that PPV isn’t going to have it. If Allie is involved in the title scene, Tessa needs to be too.


Cartoonish

Scarlett Bordeaux did another interview, this week with a guy who was stereotypically flustered given how attractive she is. Seriously, he was like that cartoon character who sees an overtly curvy woman, hearts come out of his eyes, and says “hubba hubba” and shit like that.

I appreciate Scarlett’s gimmick of being all about her own looks, but everyone else around her needs to play the proverbial straight man. Having a cartoonish man flummoxed because she’s super pretty isn’t the way to go, especially a guy who has never been on the show before and is apparently really bad at his job. Her using her looks to get her way is something they can explore, but this was just extremely over the top.

The best way to presents this gimmick is for the people interacting with her to show that she’s terrible. They should roll their eyes or challenge her on her superficial ideas. This segment didn’t accomplish showing that we shouldn’t like her because of how he acts and what she says.


Winless

KM and Fallah Bahh are still a team, and they’re still losing, this week to the Desi Hit Squad again.

But these guys are growing on me as a team.

They try everything to succeed, but they’re never on the same page enough to get it done. But it’s become a charming act.

This week, KM tried to get Fallah Bahh to show a mean streak, thinking that’s what they need to win. He instructed his partner to pull his opponent’s hair or poke his eye. And Fallah listened.

Yet once again, things backfired as Fallah Bahh distracted the referee when KM was about to get the pinfall, not fully understanding how these dastardly tactics are supposed to work. This led to a Desi Hit Squad win.

It’s become a pretty funny shtick and the crowds really love them. When/if they finally do get it together and pick up some wins, the audiences will be more than ready for it.


Main Event

The Lucha Bros of Fenix and Pentagon Jr. defeated oVe in this week’s main event.

This served as a bit of a fallout match from the Pentagon/Callihan match at Slammiversary. It was a fun match, but that’s pretty much all that was here. We didn’t get any real direction for where these groups are headed.

There’s nothing wrong with a solid match in the main event between two teams that are finishing up a feud. There’s just not much to say about it. It was a pretty good match and the good guys won. Now we wait and see what’s next for them.


Civil War Rages On

The OGz squashed some local guys before Santana and Ortiz attacked them for all they’ve done to them. Ortiz even tried to use an ax on Homicide before security stopped them and Konnan pulled them back. However, they didn’t take their stolen titles back even though they easily could. But Ortiz and Santana were never booked as really intelligent.

Honestly, this feud isn’t doing much for me. It’s been pretty well told, but I don’t really care to see Hernandez and Homicide enough as the antagonists in this story. I know Impact has been pacing their stories, but I wouldn’t mind if this one concluded sooner more than later.


Lady Troubles

Grado issued a challenge for Eli Drake to find a partner to face him and his friend Joe Hendry. Eli just randomly grabbed the Cult of Lee, who argued with each other the entire time who actually gets to be his partner. It didn’t matter because Eli never tagged one of them in.

He picked up the win when Grado saw Joe holding Katarina when she was about to go after the Cult of Lee for trying to interfere. Drake was able to hit a Gravy Train then and there.

Drake continues to put the idea in Grado’s head that Katarina and Joe are into each other. And he’s probably right.


Pros of the Show:

  • Austin Aries is such a dick
  • KM and Fallah Bahh are a fun team

Cons of the Show:

  • The cartoonish man interviewing Bordeaux isn’t the best way to showcase the gimmick
  • The LAX feud is getting a bit long in the tooth

There wasn’t anything outwardly bad on this show (and there hasn’t been a bunch of really dumb stuff in awhile), but this was more of a lackluster showing than recent weeks. They need to get some stories started up because right now, there isn’t a ton going on.

Grade: C+

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