Lucha Underground recap and review: Aztec Warfare 4

Lucha Underground returned (June 13) for season four in a new Temple with a new proprietor. They kicked things off with a bang known as Aztec Warfare 4.

Let’s do this! I’m so excited.

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Dario Cueto’s funeral viewing

The episode opened with Dario Cueto in an open casket. Nobody showed up except Agent Winter and Antonio Cueto (Dario’s father).

During their conversation, we learn that Antonio is in full control of Lucha Underground, the old Temple is closed, a Temple can be anywhere as long as the sacred seal is in the ring, and that the new Temple will be in a place that stored cerveza. Lots of it.

That new Temple sounds like heaven.

One more detail. A detail that may have distressed your mind. It turns out the Antonio ordered the hit on Dario. “That’s cold.” They should recut this into a beer commercial.

We also learned/reconfirmed that the Lucha Underground wrestling promotion is a front for a true objective and that the Order was behind choosing Matanza as a vessel for a god. Agent Winter parted with the line, “Be ready. Our friend in the limo will be coming for war before you know it.”

Ten bell salute

After a scenic driving sequence, we hit the ring for a ten bell salute in honor of Dario Cueto. It only took three rings until Antonio Cueto appeared from his office.

Antonio was dressed in a safari explorer jacket. My first thought of comparison was the dude looking for Doctor Livingstone. Antonio has scraggly white hair, a whitish eye, a limpy leg, and a cane with a bull head handle, similar to Dario’s precious red bull.

Antonio cane-whacked the photo of Dario and threw it out of the ring.

He proceeded to announce Aztec Warfare 4 for tonight. Pentagon DARK’s Lucha Underground championship will be on the line.

Aztec Warfare 4

Antonio wanted the Trios champs to start off the match. Unfortunately, Dante Fox was missing in action. I sure hope he isn’t missing all season long. Antonio said that the next person in the number three slot will become a part of the championship team. Enter a now three-time Trios champ, Son of Havoc.

Entrants 1, 2, 3: Mack, Killshot, Son of Havoc

Before getting to the loose play-by-play, one thing needs to be mentioned. The time interval between luchadores was one minute. That really hurt the match. It was a spurt of action less than one minute, then the next introduction, then a quick spurt, and so on. It gave Aztec Warfare a very choppy feel.

Ring the bell. No exclamation in Antonio’s voice makes me sad.

Mack is my pick to win. The three did what they do to start the bout.

Aztec dressed drummers banged away during the countdown. I love that they are still part of Aztec Warfare.

Lucha Underground

Entrant 4: Joey Ryan

Ryan used enough baby oil to challenge the current baby oil king. He strategically handcuffed himself to the rope. Ryan threw his lollipop at Mack, so Mack pounded on him.

Entrant 5: Mr. Pectacular

Jessie Godderz made his Lucha Underground debut. I enjoyed his BroMans team in TNA. Interestingly, Matt Striker and Vampiro never used the name Jessie Godderz. I guess that means I have to type Mr. Pectacular every darn time. Thanks, guys. But, I must confess that I laugh every time I say the name Mr. Pectacular in my head.

Mr. Pectacular hit a clothesline followed by a drop kick, and yelled to the crowd. Killshot then greeted Mr. Pectacular’s face with a huge knee. Vampiro on commentary, “Pretty boy just got his mug checked.”

Son of Havoc connected with a handspring elbow to Mr. Pectacular. Mack followed with a big booty to the face maneuver. Out of nowhere, Killshot swooped in to rollup Mack.

Mack has been eliminated (1)

That was an unpleasant surprise. Mack is one of my favorites in the Temple.

Entrant 6: Pentagon DARK

Pentagon house-a-fired everyone to leave him face to face with the handcuffed Joey Ryan. Ryan pointed to the crowd as a distraction, uncuffed himself, sissily clubbed Pentagon in the back, then received a Pentagon Driver.

Joey Ryan has been eliminated (2)

Killshot tried to be sneaky again by rolling up Son of Havoc. Kick out. Pentagon attacked Killshot with a package piledriver. Havoc went up top for a shooting star press.

Killshot has been eliminated (3)

Entrant 7: Tommy Dreamer

Dreamer has black pants with huge yellow polka dots. A shout out to the American Dream? He started throwing weapons in the ring. Meanwhile, Pentagon kicked Mr. Pectacular in the face.

Mr. Pectacular has been eliminated (4)

In a memorable moment, Dreamer and Pentagon had a staredown. Pentagon theatrically removed his glove to flash Cero Miedo right in Dreamer’s face, which led to Dreamer kendo sticking Pentagon. That is now a match I’d like to see.

Entrant 8: Mariposa

Pentagon kendo sticked Dreamer. Pentagon climbed the turnbuckle but got trapped into a tree of woe. Dreamer then executed a low drop kick into a trash can right to Pentagon’s face.

Mariposa delivered kendo damage to all. She tried dueling with Havoc but received a cutter.

Mariposa has been eliminated (5)

On the other side, Pentagon attempted a flying attack to the outside only to be meet by Dreamer swinging a kendo stick. That led to the two fighting in the bleachers and Dreamer taking the brunt of a thumbtacks fall. I feel bad for the fans that have to go back to sitting in those seats.

Pentagon rolled Dreamer back into the ring. Top rope stomp. Bye, bye.

Tommy Dreamer has been eliminated (6)

Entrant 9: Vinnie Massaro

Comedy time. The Italian ordered a pizza ringside but stiffed the delivery tip. The crowd chanted, “Pizza! Pizza! Pizza!” I’ve been known to do that at home when pizza arrives. It eventually led to a Pentagon Driver on top of the pizza.

Vinnie Massaro has been eliminated (7)

The waste of pizza made me sad.

Entrant 10: HERNANDEZ!!!

Heck, yeah! I don’t care what anybody says. I’m a fan. I’m salivating just thinking about future fights in the hoss division. His music was popping. I need to go back to season one to see if he used the same song.

Damn! Hernandez literally slapped the taste out of Pentagon’s mouth. Penty dropped to his knees upon impact.

Hey, wait. No. No! NO!!!

Pentagon just snapped Hernandez’s arm. I guess that means Hernandez won’t be back for awhile, if at all. What a bummer.

Hernandez has been eliminated (8)

Havoc and Pentagon had a nice little exchange. The result was a Pentagon lung blower off a Havoc springboard move attempt.

Son of Havoc has been eliminated (9)

Entrant 11: Welcome to Slamtown! (Johnny Mundo)

Back and forth between the only two competitors in the match.

Entrant 12: Ricky Mundo

It was supposed to be Angelico according to the entrance music. I didn’t even know he had entrance music. Ricky Mundo came out instead. He was accompanied by a doll figure. In accompanied, I mean a toy doll, not a person dressed as a doll. Later on, the doll was silently telling Ricky to act bad.

Two Mundos on one Pentagon. The champ kicked out of a double team slam maneuver. Ricky then got distracted by the doll. Ricky tried to roll up Johnny, so Johnny returned the favor with a Moonlight Drive.

Ricky Mundo has been eliminated (10)

Entrant 13: Fenix

Now, the action started to get hot. Fenix did all kinds of dope rope bouncing. I don’t even know how to describe it. He followed with a huge air flying manuever to the outside. That was my first, “Whoa f-ck,” reaction of the match.

Entrant 14: Jeremiah Crane

Crane brought a chair into the ring. Crane lifted Fenix for a suplex, but Fenix kneed him in the head. Very cool.

Matt Striker said, “Petard.” Excuse me while I consult the dictionary.

Entrant 15: Mil Muertes

As Jim Ross would say, “Business is about to pick up here!” Mil Muertes is my pick to win.

First Catrina sighting of the season. Oh my. That’s all I’ll say about her outfit.

Crane hit Mil with a chair. No effect. Mil retaliated with a rough chokeslam. Mil cleaned house. Fenix did a flip tumble off a clothesline. Spears all around.

Mil went to attack Mundo. Crane kicked Mil from behind. Pentagon kicked Mil in the face. Crane did the same. Springboard kick to the face by Mundo. In the corner, Fenix kicked Mil in the face. Huge top rope double stomp to Mil’s back by Fenix. Pin. 1, 2, 3.

What? Foo filth flarn foo. Mil’s my favorite and he was eliminated so quickly. I quit Lucha Underground. If I had a subscription to the Lucha Underground Network, I’d cancel it right away.

Just kidding.

Mil Muertes has been eliminated (11)

Catrina was pissed and stormed off without Mil.

Entrant 16: Daga

Damn, Kobra Moon is looking fit.

She has been putting in work. I look forward to seeing how much she has improved in the ring.

Oh, Daga’s there too. Daga went on the offensive. First to Fenix then to Mundo.

Unimportant side note: Joey Ryan’s handcuffs are still on the rope. Noticing them gave me a chuckle.

Entrant 17. Chavo Guerrero Jr.

Oooh, Chavo. Chavo is my pick to win.

Crane was smack talking Chavo, while Pentagon snuck up from behind for a Pentagon Driver.

Jeremiah Crane has been eliminated (12)

Chavo and Fenix now. Chavo kneed him in the gut. Suplex. 1, 2, 3. That was unexpected for such a basic move. I guess Chavo has been superpowering his suplex in his time off.

Fenix has been eliminated (13)

Mundo and Daga went at it. Mundo had an unaccidental accident (unintentionally intentional for story?) of crashing into Kobra Moon. Back to the ring, End of the World by Mundo to Daga.

Daga has been eliminated (14)

Entrant 18: King Cuerno

King Cuerno now has long hair and short trunks. Club OhLaLa. Cuerno is my pick to win.

Cuerno was looking good by splatting everyone. He had a nice flying crossbody and a dandy Arrow from the Depths of Hell.

Entrant 19: El Dragon Azteca Jr.

Azteca came hot with a springboard crossbody and DDTJ on Mundo, then he hit a huge leap to the outside on Pentagon.

Kobra Moon came charging and screaming with Vibora in tow. She ordered Mundo’s destruction. Choke slam. Huge knee.

Entrant 20: Marty Martinez

Back to Vibora and Mundo. Tombstone piledriver. They let Marty come in for the pin.

Johnny Mundo has been eliminated (15)

A good flurry of action all around followed by Chavo throwing a chair at Azteca in a suicide dive attempt. Chavo went up for a frog splash, but Cuerno pushed him off. Chavo crashed onto the Modelo cerveza floor advertisement. Mmm, Modelo cervezo. So tasty. Back to the ring, Cuerno hit the frog splash on Azteca.

El Dragon Azteca Jr. has been eliminated (16)

Final four. Chavo, Cuerno, Marty, and Pentagon. One highlight was Pentagon showboating a Cero Miedo hand sign in Cuerno’s face. Pentagon went for a springbaord something but Cuerno flying kneed him in the face. Bru-tal.

Cuerno had Pentagon up for the Thrill of the Hunt, but Chavo Nakamura’d Cuerno from behind. Gory Bomb.

King Cuerno has been eliminated (17)

Like I said, Chavo is my pick to win.

Pentagon kicked Chavo in the knee. Chavo went down then Pentagon kicked him in the face.

Chavo Guerrero Jr. has been eliminated (18)

Marty Martinez is my pick to win.

The final two battled with stiff chops and kicks. Marty connected on a cutter from his shoulders. Pentagon kicked out. Curb stomp by Marty. Pentagon kicked out again. That one almost got me. I was so close to jumping out of my chair thinking Aztec Warfare was over.

Lung blower by Pentagon. Kick out. Marty bit Pentagon’s fingers after a Cero Miedo taunt. Double underhook some Japanese guy DDT by Marty. Kick out. Oh, again I thought that was it.

Marty charged to the corner. Boot to the face by Pentagon. That set up a Mexican Destroyer. Package piledriver. 1, 2, 3.

Marty Martinez has been eliminated (19)

Pentagon DARK remains Lucha Underground champion. I knew it. He was my pick all along.

Pentagon broke Marty’s arm after the match. What a butthead.

Post-match

Antonio Cueto on the scene. Instead of making Pentagon have a new match right here and now, Cueto announced next week’s main event. “I am a much better promoter than that little Dario ever was.” Next week, will be Pentagon DARK vs Matanza for the Lucha Undeground championshop. No Cero Miedo hand sign from Pentagon. Is there something to that or only a minor oversight?

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Woo, wee. That was an enjoyable season four premiere. Story point breadcrumbs. Antonio Cueto. Kind of new Trios champs. Aztec Warfare 4. And next week’s big-time main event.

A mighty fine scene to open. It set the tone for the season and revealed some juicy details. It also gave a feel for the Antonio character. I’m interested to see the character evolve and pick up on any of his idiosyncrasies. Hopefully, like father like son in the sense that there are many.

Something that intrigued me was Agent Winter saying gang-bangers shot Dario. I was thinking maybe he didn’t want to incriminate himself in a public venue, even though the room was empty, but then he stated out loud that Antonio ordered the hit. Why the shadiness? Does Winter expect Antonio to kill whoever shot Dario even though Antonio ordered it himself?

I’m cool with Son of Havoc filling in for Dante Fox as Trios champ. The reaction of Mack and Killshot was kind of weird. On one hand, I understand why they are upset. On the other hand, Havoc is a fine partner to have in a pinch. He has trios experience. Perhaps Mack will ease into it when he’s had time to think. Killshot? Who knows. He was a jerk to his partners in this match. I’ve never been a fan of turning on friends in a match of this nature. I’ve always felt that it would be better to be the last luchadores standing, then let it play out from there. I’m curious if this will be foreshadowing for a Killshot heel turn.

Apparently, their title reign counts as 718 days thus far, if you go by the day their win was taped and not aired. Beat that Brock Lesnar. They destroy you on days as champ as well as days between defenses. Does anyone know the longest amount of time between title defenses?

As for Aztec Warfare 4, I have mixed feelings. First off, it was entertaining TV. That is the most important. I’ve never been disappointed by that match format. Aztec Warfare 4 had plenty of enjoyable moments, surprise entrants, and potential lead-ins to future feuds.

Was it top notch? Not so much. The 60 second entrant interval had a major downward effect. It limited any flow before the focus turned to the next luchador to walk down the stairs. Many eliminations felt relatively quick or too easy, especially for major stars. After the beating some of them have taken in the past, I was like, “That’s all it took to get bounced?”

Speaking of the Aztec Warfare concept, Antonio Cueto mentioned that Dario stole the idea from him. That made me curious if Pat Patterson stole the idea for the Royal Rumble back when he spent time in Rio de Janeiro winning the Intercontinental Championship. It is not out of the realm of possibility that Antonio Cueto was in town during that tournament.

I’ve seen mixed feelings about the new Temple. I don’t mind it, although, I am extremely biased about it being a place that held beer. Lots of it. In the old Temple, I had to turn up the brightness a few notches on my computer screen. Not so, now. We’ll have to see how they use their surroundings for crazy maneuvers in the future.

On to production, I noticed a few mishaps. A couple of Matt Striker’s comments sounded dubbed over afterward. The tone change always comes across weird. There was also an editing goof. At one point, Son of Havoc put his hand in and out of his pants, like Al Bundy. In the very next shot, Havoc was in the background with his hand in his pants again. I suspect overlap. These weren’t that big of a deal, just things I noticed.

I was a little disappointed about lack of continuity on commentary from the Ultima Lucha Tres finale. Vampiro cheated Prince Puma to help Pentagon DARK, and Matt Striker ripped into Vampiro for it. In the season four premiere, there was no tension at all. No barbs from Striker toward Vampiro.

Speaking of Vampiro, he now has hair. I so hope that evil decaying Vampiro is still bald. It would put a cool touch on the facade between commentary Vampiro and wicked Vampiro.

Award time. Hernandez was my favorite surprise. I enjoy his hossness. Plus, it now gives me hope for the return of Alberto El Patron off the missing list.

MVP would have to be Pentagon DARK. I didn’t keep a tally, but I think it is safe to say he had the most eliminations by far. He also won the match. Show stealer goes to Fenix. His rope acrobatics were fantastic. The award for El Burro Mas Tonto goes to Vinnie Massaro. Forget about what happened in the ring. I’m mad a perfectly delectable pizza was ruined.

What did you think about Aztec Warfare 4? Where does it rank in the bunch? Which potential matches do you want to see that had feud seeds planted? Who was your favorite surprise entrant? MVP? Show stealer? El Burro Mas Tonto?

See you next week for Pentagon DARK vs Matanza in a Lucha Underground championship clash.