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Ryusuke Taguchi offers his butt up for a shot at the IWGP Junior Heavyweight Tag Team Championship

After his tag team loss with Tetsuhiro Yagi against IWGP Junior Heavyweight Tag Team Champions El Desperado & Yoshinobu Kanemaru yesterday (March 14), Ryusuke Taguchi took to the post-match interview as a platform for a challenge. Let’s go to the tape.

You didn’t have to kick my butt so hard. What’s the point? What’s the big deal with kicking my butt? Do you get me? Why? It’s as disgraceful as taking a wrestler’s mask. For a master like me, butt is life. I won’t let this go. Put your belts on the line. I’ll put my butt on the line. Let’s fight.

That’s a mighty challenge coming from a man who uses his butt as much as Taguchi does. And I have to ask... how do you even enforce that stipulation? Is it an honor system, or will perhaps he have to have his butt surgically removed? These details remain to be hammered out later, along with the question of who he’d be teaming with and, of course, whether the champions will accept.

Unfortunately, or perhaps fortunately for the Funky Weapon’s, er... funky weapon, that seems somewhat unlikely, folks, as the champions were more concerned with a member of one of the other teams in the match they won the titles in, Hiromu Takahashi.

Kanemaru: You guys already know, I don’t want to talk. Hey, Hiromu Takahashi... Where are you? That’s all I wanted to say.

Offscreen: He’s gone.

Kanemaru: Hey, when are we going to fight?

Desperado: They announced the card for Korakuen? Tomorrow’s show? He’s finally returning. You were the one who kept annoying us, and after all the whining, you split? It’s been so long, I started to forget you. But I was reminded when I was drunk the other day. BUSHI is always around, why not you? Even with your bright red hair, you’re easily forgotten. New Japan’s ring is always on the move. So, come back now.

There you have it, folks.

Butt is life, Cagesiders.

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