Everything cool that happened at NJPW New Year Dash!! today

NJPW New Year Dash!! was this morning and I’m doing something a little different from the usual match recommendation scale, folks. Since NYD is always made mostly of tag matches and is less about having the best matches possible and more about having kind of a wrestling aftershow party to bookend Wrestle Kingdom, I’ll just be breaking everything cool (and exciting/confusing/interesting/etc, we’re using a broad definition here!) that happens out in bullet points.

For full results with finishes and whatnot, go right here. On with the show!

Manabu Nakanishi, TenCozy (Hiroyoshi Tenzan & Satoshi Kojima), & Yuji Nagata vs. Ren Narita, Shota Umino, Tetsuhiro Yagi, & Tomoyuki Oka

• The young lions are starting hot!
• Nakanishi busted out a double suplex!
• Yagi chopped Nagata in the throat... and immediately learned what a bad idea that is.
• Oka with the hot tag and he’s slugging it out with Blue Justice and bowling him clean over!
• Seriously that was a hoot right there.
• Machine gun chops from the leader of Bread Club!
• Umino’s got the crab! And a bridging German suplex!

Henare, Hirai Kawato, Jushin Liger, Tiger Mask IV, & Togi Makabe vs. Suzuki-gun (El Desperado, Taichi, TAKA Michinoku, Takashi Iizuka, & Yoshinobu Kanemaru)

• Suzuki-gun are letting Iizuka just wander through the crowd on their entrance. Aren’t there leash laws around here?
• It’s an all-out brawl!
• Iizuka’s biting Makabe and strangling him with a camera cable. Liger makes the save and gets bit himself, right through the mask!
• Henare in the ring wiping Kanemaru and Michinoku out with a double shoulder block and headbutts!
• At long last we have something approaching a tag match, with legal men and some dudes on the apron. Granted, Taichi’s using the bell hammer to beat Henare unholy, so...
• Iizuka’s out here almost getting disqualified for biting, surely Suzuki-gun could feed the guy.
• And now he’s busting out an old-time one-handed choke on the mat, I can respect that.
• Desperado and Kawato turn the heat up and Liger and Tiger tear him up with sequential powerbombs before feeding him into Kawato for a spin kick that almost wins it if it weren’t for the rest of Suzuki-gun!
• Taichi managed to take his pants off in one clean motion, it’s a good day.
• Post-match, Iizuka nails Kawato with the iron glove!
• Taichi spit booze at Kevin Kelly!

”Switchblade” Jay White vs. Katsuya Kitamura (Kitamura Challenge Series Match 1)

• Switchblade out here throwing chops that sound like a man shooting hams out of a cannon.
• He’s stepping on Kitamura’s throat!
• Wicked Saito suplex dumps Katsuya on his neck!
• To the floor, brawling and throwing Kitamura into the barricade and up the aisle!
• He breaks the count and is game to fight but White is just on his knee like science.
• Spear! Up for the Jackhammer... Jay reverses into an arm-trap crossface! Crucifix elbows!

Cheeseburger & Roppongi 3K (SHO & YOH) vs. the Elite (Kenny Omega, Matt Jackson, & Nick Jackson)

• Tokyo loves Cheeseburger.
• Nick wants a tag but Matt and Kenny both beg off because of how banged up they are after Wrestle Kingdom.
• YOH and Matt lock up... and immediately their backs give out on them after the punishment they dished out on each other yesterday!
• Matt takes the ropes and regrets it!
• YOH goes for a slam and it turns into a crossbody not because Jackson reversed it, but because he can’t hold him up.
• Finally, the dream match of dream matches, Cheeseburger in on Omega!
• Burger’s taking it to him... or was. He tried. Good effort, good hustle.
• Dropkick to the knee! He’s got a Nick and Kenny stacked up and chopping them! Matt too!
• Triple superkick takes Cheeseburger out!
• Trying to triple team him in the corner but he dodges and Omega takes the buckles hard!
• SHO in, snapping off headscissors and wristlock kicks.
• Lungblower into a dropkick, sliding Ace Crusher completes a gutwrench Dominator, sick tag moves abound from RPG3K!
• Hanging YOH up, double stomp on SHO, Nick rolls right through into a lungblower on YOH across the ring!
• YOH doing a hell of a job ducking and dodging to get Burger the hot tag!
• Standing switch city, duck a lariat, Matt clobbers Nick... SHOTEI!
• SHOTEI CUTS NICK OFF ON A DIVE!
• A SHOTEI FOR OMEGA AS WELL!
• Headed up top... the Elite catch the crossbody and set up the leapfrog Indytaker!

Bullet Club (Chase Owens, Cody Rhodes, Leo Tonga, Marty Scurll, & Yujiro Takahashi) vs. Taguchi Japan (David Finlay, Juice Robinson, Kota Ibushi, KUSHIDA, & Ryusuke Taguchi)

• Juice puts his dreads up in a topknot, which lasts about ten seconds before Tonga puts him in the corner and they shake free.
• Jabs and crotch chops!
• Really cool punch exchange with Tonga throwing these wild haymakers and Robinson dodging them to hit more jabs makes me want to see Leo and Juice do a proper Memphis main event.
• Double butt attack!
• Owens is using his own rear for violence but he can’t match the maestro.
• Taguchi Japan literally running a butt train on Chase Owens. All of them, even Ibushi.
• Would like to take this moment to shout Brandi Rhodes out for the job she’s doing joining the English commentary team. Very dry, good stuff.
• Scurll is working Taguchi’s Funky Weapon over something fierce.
• KUSHIDA with the hot tag, cartwheel dropkick ahoy!
• Mocking the chickenwing taunt with the Villain deathlocked, he suplexes Chase Owens to crank the hold back before putting a Muta Lock on!
• Marty uses the fingers for leverage but KUSHIDA breaks free before he can break it!
• Cool sequence off the fakeout superkick being scouted that ends in Scurll catching the big punch and wishboning the fingers!
• Cody and Kota reprise their match from last night and it is a hoot.
• Owens trips Finlay off the second and puts his back into the turnbuckle!
• Marty kicks off the Bullet Club train on Finlay but he can’t actually whip Tonga over so he piggybacks on the big man!
• Planchas around the ring all come up empty for Taguchi Japan!
• Finlay reverses Cross Rhodes and hits the Irish Curse!
• Brandi’s up on the apron to run interference!
• Post-match Cody attacks Ibushi!
• Juice makes the save and Pulp Friction is reversed into Cross Rhodes!
• Bullet Club go to Pillmanize Kota but Omega makes the save and gets into a shoving match with Cody!
• Kenny gets on the mic and says he’s tired of the infighting but he has a solution-- Switchblade?!
• Jay comes down, is offered a Bullet Club t-shirt, and accepts... only to hit Blade Runner on Omega!

Bullet Club (Bad Luck Fale, Tama Tonga, & Tonga Roa) vs. Chaos (Beretta, Tomohiro Ishii, & Toru Yano) (c) (NEVER Openweight 6-Man Tag Team Championship)

• Trent blocked a Gun Stun!
• Fale has Yano by the legs but he’s not gonna let go of the ropes by god!
• Bullet Club beat on the Sublime Master Thief but finally Ishii’s had enough and tries to save his buddy... and fails.
• Ishii finally gets in and engages in some bull moose action with Roa.
• Stone Pitbull chopping the Underboss down, stomps to the feet to try and get him up for a suplex!
• Beretta with a sweet Flair Flip there, coming out the way he went in.
• ISHII HITS THE GERMAN SUPLEX ON FALE!
• Guerrilla Warfare connects but a followup headbutt comes up empty and Trent comes in with an avalanche belly-to-belly suplex!
• Cool series of tight reversals from Tama and Beretta.

Hiroshi Tanahashi, Michael Elgin, & War Machine (Hanson & Ray Rowe) vs. Suzuki-gun (Davey Boy Smith, Jr., Lance Archer, Minoru Suzuki, & Zack Sabre, Jr.)

• Suzuki is very bald.
• Chaos, as expected, reigns at the bell.
• More Sabre/Rowe goodness, would be mighty nice if they could get a singles match sometime.
• Pounce from Archer!
• Minoru with the cross armbar in the ropes!
• Busaiku knee kick from Rowe!
• Every time Ray’s in danger of making a tag Suzuki comes over and boots Tanahashi clean off the apron, it’s great.
• Really fun power vs. technician sequence from Sabre and Elgin, who HAVE had several good singles matches already.
• Suzuki steps it up with a sweet leg pick into a heel hook on Tanahashi and they roll out to the floor!
• Devastating knee from Rowe! And a deadlift powerbomb Hart Attack when ZSJ comes in with a triangle choke!
• Minoru is still working Hiroshi’s knee over on the floor.
• Hanson with a desperate one-man fight against Killer Elite Squad!
• Post-match Suzuki’s still taking his anger out on Tanahashi’s knee, fantastic. Don’t think Tanahashi was even in the match once.

Chaos (Gedo, Hirooki Goto, Kazuchika Okada, Will Ospreay, & YOSHI-HASHI) vs. Los Ingobernables de Japon (BUSHI, EVIL, Hiromu Takahashi, SANADA, & Tetsuya Naito)

• Hiromu seems mad, no Daryl today. Understandable.
• Starting off hot with Ospreay and Takahashi doing flips!
• Hiromu counters Gedo’s jabs by grabbing his beard and Gedo in turn counters with a pull of the hair.
• Every time Naito and Okada interact here it’s just Naito beating his ass, which is great.
• Paradise Lock on Gedo!
• Really slick sequence from Okada and Naito starting with a Tower of London type neckbreaker and ending with the Stardust Genius going inside out on a boot.
• Chaos follow that up by hitting absolutely everything on Naito, believe it was like a neckbreaker / GTR combo from Tacos and Goto followed by a shooting star press from Ospreay.
• HUGE nearfall off a powerbomb for YOSHI-HASHI!
• Quadruple dropkick right to the Rainmaker’s neck!
• Post-match LIJ continue delivering violence on their opponents, MX from BUSHI on Gedo, Hiromu hits Time Bomb on Ospreay, EVIL on Goto, and then they put the boots to Okada. TKO and Skull End in on the champ!
• CHRIS JERICHO IS ATTACKING NAITO!
• Naito does his Tranquilo roll and Jericho jumps right back on him!
• A mass of young lions and referees finally pull Y2J off but he’s throwing anything that isn’t bolted down at the Stardust Genius!

Overall

Perhaps not the best New Year Dash!! ever, but as you can see, plenty of cool (and exciting/confusing/interesting) stuff happened.

Check it out on NJPW World, folks.