Lucha Underground returned (Sep. 6) from the Temple of Boyle Heights with Mack vs Drago for an Aztec medallion, Joey Ryan vs Cortez Castro for an Aztec medallion in a 5-0 street fight, Matanza 1-on-3 against the Rabbit Tribe, plus a bevy of future matchmaking. Here’s what happened and what we learned.
What Happened: Drago defeated Mack via Dragon's Lair pin to win an Aztec medallion.
It's been awhile since we've seen Drago's tongue. It reminded me of Manolo's tongue in Scarface. I bet Drago also wants a line of blue jeans with his name of the back of chicks' booties.
Mack was acting more street than usual. I think he was puffing on a cigar during his entrance. Later, he flipped the bird to Drago after the back and forth feeling out process that is typical in lucha libre matches. Mack also did a pelvic thrust/butt twerk while upside down on the turnbuckle.
Did Vampiro just call Mack a turd? "Brother, I took one of those chewy things and I saw something like that in my bathroom in the morning and it scared me." I'm not sure what the heck Vampiro is referring to. I sometimes get scared at morning poos too, so that's where my mind went.
The story of the bout was Drago's speed against Mack's power. It was fairly even until Kobra Moon stepped up onto the apron. Mack pie-faced her. Drago made use of the distraction with a barrage of kicks to set up the victorious Dragon's Lair super pin.
After the match, Mack tried to clean house with stunners. Drago took one, but Pindar and Vibora sprang onto the scene before Kobra Moon could get stunned. Beat down on Mack with a chokeslam by Vibora to send us to commercial.
What We Learned:
Drago joins the Rabbit Tribe and Son of Havoc as possessors of Aztec medallions.
Mack seems to be having trouble with focus as of late. He lost his last two matches after getting tunnel vision on distractions from Famous B and Kobra Moon. That left him open to pinning predicaments from his opponents. If Mack doesn't get this bad habit corrected soon, his Lucha Underground career will go down the tubes.
What We’ve Yet to Learn:
Will Drago be pulling double duty at Ultima Lucha Tres? As one third of the Trios champs, I assume the Reptile Tribe will have to defend and I think it is safe to assume there will be a Gift of the Gods contest as well.
What Happened: Dario Cueto made a huge announcement.
Next week WILL BE THE 100TH EPISODE OF LUCHA UNDERGROUND!!!
Dario declared the lineup for that special event. El Dragon Azteca Jr vs Pentagon DARK for the final Aztec medallion. Johnny Mundo and Prince Puma will have an atomicos match, which is a 4-on-4 tag. The main event will be Matanza Cueto vs Rey Mysterio.
Dario asked Rey to join him in the ring. Dario set up Matanza vs the Rabbit Tribe later tonight as a preview of the destruction Rey will have to face. Dario also ordered Rey to go home for the evening so he couldn't get involved in Matanza's match.
Rey said he's not going anywhere. Dario anticipated this. If Rey doesn't leave, Dario will call off next week's main event and cancel El Dragon Azteca Jr's match for an Aztec medallion. On second thought from Dario, Rey must exit the premises or Azteca is fired. Master chess move.
Rey acquiesced and stated that he will wait until next week to end the Cueto family legacy. After Matanza, Rey is going after Dario.
What We Learned:
Episode 100 will be stacked. All three bouts should be barn burners.
What We’ve Yet to Learn:
Puma's atomicos partners. Dario said Puma would announce them later tonight, so that should be interesting. I'm not sure he has friends anymore, but Worldwide Underground does have a long list of enemies.
What Happened: Cortez Castro won the 5-0 street fight and an Aztec medallion.
TONIGHT! Joey Ryan vs Cortez Castro 5-O STREET FIGHT on #LuchaUnderground. But we've uncovered happier days from the police academy... pic.twitter.com/ZeWIpmd2ze
— Lucha Underground (@LuchaElRey) September 6, 2017
The ring is adorned with a cop car, members of the swat unit, shooting range posters, barricades, flashing siren lights, and donuts. Weapons used were a lollipop, night stick, riot shield, handcuffs, latex glove and baby oil as the Believers chanted, "Cavity search," baseball bat, sledgehammer ("Is it time to play the game?" from Matt Striker on commentary), coffee, taser, and mace.
The fight was a slower paced brawl. Castro was busted open early after Ryan padded his punches with handcuffs to Castro's head. Highlight maneuvers include, "Cop Bottom onto the hood of the cruiser," hot coffee down the front of Ryan's trunks and subsequent taser to Ryan's wet balls, and a suplex off the commentary table. The finish came after Castro maced Ryan then connected on a fireman's carry front piledriver/slam maneuver.
What We Learned:
Cortez Castro joins the previously mentioned five as a holder of an Aztec medallion.
What We’ve Yet to Learn:
Will the coffee and taser negatively affect Joey Ryan's penile prowess? Or will it have a supercharged effect to create a villainous Shaft the likes of which the Temple has never seen?
What Happened: Matanza defeated the Rabbit Tribe in a 1-on-3 match.
The Rabbit Tribe tried to soothe the savage beast by offering a top hat then attempting their circle dance to no avail. The Rabbits had the early advantage due to the numbers game. Matanza took control until he was bashed with Easter eggs of confetti. Paul London connected on the shooting star press. All three went for the cover, but Matanza pressed them off to break the count. That was pretty much the end of the Rabbit Tribe's offense.
Matanza went on a rampage with a brutal maneuver for each. The winning pin came after Wrath of the Gods on Saltador.
What We Learned:
Matanza’s still got it. I believe this is his first action since being grounded by his brother, Dario. Matanza was a little slow getting started, but he showed his brute force in the end.
What We’ve Yet to Learn:
What’s up with Mascarita Sagrada? Paul London carried him to safety last week. This week, Mascarita couldn’t be bothered to at least lend verbal support to the Rabbit Tribe. I’m hoping the reason is that Mascarita is deep away on a psychedelic journey that will result in his acceptance of leading the Rabbit Tribe to glory.
What Happened: Title vs career at Ultima Lucha Tres is a go.
Prince Puma was supposed to announce his atomicos teammates. Johnny Mundo interrupted before Puma could finish. They reminded the audience of their previous encounters. Mundo countered Puma's confidence with a proposition of title vs mask.
Dario Cueto entered to put the kibosh on that idea. There is already a mask on the line at Ultima Lucha Tres. (Fenix’s mask vs Marty Martinez’s hair.) "And the last thing I want is to make it seem like Dario Cueto has run out of original ideas." Light bulb above Dario's head. Figuratively, not literally.
Title vs career. Vampiro was wagging his finger no. Puma kneed Mundo in the mush then accepted the wager.
What We Learned:
Stakes have been raised for the main event of Ultima Lucha Tres. It is interesting that they mixed real life rumors into the story. I’m purposely trying to be vague for those that don’t want rumors (not spoilers) to influence their viewing experience. We’ll either get a predictable outcome that makes sense or a fantastic surprise of secrecy on the level of Chris Jericho hiding on a bus for the Royal Rumble.
What We’ve Yet to Learn:
Puma’s atomicos partners. False advertising! I wanted to know his partners. I’m guessing Sexy Star due to her feud with Taya. Mack and Son of Havoc make sense too with their past issues fighting Worldwide Underground, but I’m hoping we get a surprise. Maybe some returns from injury, although it is a little late in the season to strap on the momentum rocket for a Temple homecoming.
Vampiro's reaction to Prince Puma ignoring advice. Evil voodoo Vampiro is kind of a butthead. I can’t imagine he’ll take kindly to his protege waving him off.
Overall thoughts:
This was a fine episode. Not fantastic, not shabby either. Nothing really wowed me enough to lose my pants in a fit of excitement. That said, a medium episode of Lucha Underground is still an hour well spent.
It was a build up to episode 100 and Ultima Lucha Tres with two in-ring promos. In a fan sense, I was a bit disappointed in Mack being duped again. The main event was anti-climatic. Of course, Matanza was going to win.
On the plus side, the 5-0 street fight was all kinds of wackiness, even more so than I expected. Dario Cueto outfoxing Rey Mysterio by using El Dragon Azteca Jr. as a pawn was impressive strategy. I don’t think Dario will ever run out of ideas. That’s why he is our homeboy.
Opinions about the episode? Predictions for episode 100? Who do you think will be Prince Puma’s atomicos partners? See you next week for Rey Mysterio vs Matanza. It should be a dandy of a time.
Note: With Kyle Decker moving over to the Smackdown beat, I’ll be handling the recap and reactions post for Lucha Underground. I aim to get these out late afternoon on Thursdays, but sometimes my schedule won’t permit. Sorry for the delay this week.