Hello, WWE Superstars. Uh…I don’t know if you realize this, but John Cena owned you last night.
And it wasn’t just Roman Reigns, either. Male or female, young or old, he called all of you out. And I don’t think that I can blame him.
Have you seen the talent in WWE locker rooms these days? It’s a talent pool that Seth Rollins recently called the greatest ever. And despite that talent, despite the amazing talkers and grapplers and Women’s Revolutions, WWE is still a stagnant show with a declining viewership and unimpressive WWE Network subscriptions.
Over the top indeed.
And who’s at fault here? As fans, it’s easy to blame the people who program the show. I myself have gritted my teeth and tempered the urge to break things during Finn Balor’s recent escapades. And as a quick aside – Balor’s been screwed out of 3 title opportunities by Bray Wyatt but instead of a storyline that uses that as fuel, we get a bucket of Jello. Coooool.
The show is a plodding rerun, to be brutally blunt. It’s a show that repeats stories and ideas to the point where you bring beach balls to the show to escape the gnawing chasm of mediocrity. But every now and then, a moment breaks free from the muck, shining and making us all invest once more. Take tonight's bombshell, for instance:
"I’m still here because you can’t do your job."
Cena didn’t just say that to Reigns. He said that to the entire locker room. It’s true, too. By this point in the Rock’s career, in Steve Austin’s career, there were new stars making their way and creating their own paths. Perhaps it was an easier task to accomplish with a more mature audience.
But now? Who’s a star? Who’s going to main event a WrestleMania? In the past three years, those chosen few are Reigns, Taker, Lesnar and Triple H. Three middle-aged men and one younger wrestler.
And Roman got obliterated tonight.
"With you, it’s different," Cena said tonight to Reigns. "I dunno if anyone’s ever told you this…when they see you, they see what I see: A cheap-ass, corporately created John Cena bootleg."
That’s a slight with malicious intent, one intended to cut to the bone and bring a man to his knees. And he’s right – Cena’s exactly right.
The truth is that a Vince McMahon star is presented a certain way, the way that Rock and Austin and Hogan and Cena were all presented. Roman’s been booked much like a younger Cena was, presented as the shiny golden standard that no one else can meet. Cena, however, it no longer that man. He says what he wants and does what he wants, willing to go off the cuff and take risks whenever he feels it is best.
There’s a reason why Cena’s so popular; his segments have not felt like the rest of the plodding show in a very long time.
Whether it’s Reigns or Rollins, Styles or Balor – the man who fills Cena’s shoes has to be different now more than ever. Perhaps John Cena understands the current wrestling climate better than anyone. WWE is supposed to be about big moments, is it not? How can you have them if you’re just reading silly little scripts?
This isn’t the years of old; defeating the Undertaker at WrestleMania no longer makes a career. Neither does it matter when Michael Cole hastens to remind everyone that you’re the first ever Universal Champion.
What have you done for me lately?
"Roman Reigns is a fool…of all people, you waltz down here and use the same pathetic excuse that every single other person before you has done. You – with all your gifts and all your opportunities, have the gall to blame me."
There’s another quote that applies to the entire locker room. Think of all the foreign talent in WWE today, talent that cut their teeth away from the WWE. And yet what happens? They all get to WWE and do the exact same things as the men and women before them. It’s the same show with tradeable parts: Show up, wrestle matches that end in traded wins, cut promos that some soap opera writing hack thought sounded menacing, leave.
Fans clamored to the NXT in 2014 because the show was taking risks. The women were raising the bar higher and higher, storytelling was receiving an attention to detail that was unheard of in WWE. In 2016, fans rushed to another show that took risks – the Cruiserweight Classic. Foreign talents flocked to Full Sail and tore the house down. More recently, it’s the UK Championship that’s taking risks.
But when was the last time the main roster actually did it? Doesn’t it rankle you at all, WWE wrestler, that Vince McMahon brings in Lesnar and Goldberg and some other old farts because you aren’t good enough?
EXCLUSIVE: After what occurred during tonight's #BattleRoyal, @FinnBalor realizes that his rivalry with @WWEBrayWyatt is FAR from over. #RAW pic.twitter.com/UQPlPJ8ZZK
— WWE (@WWE) August 29, 2017
Finn, I love you man. I love you. But this isn’t good enough. The saga continues? This dude cost you three titles! It’s time to MURDER this backwoods imbecile!
The Club’s been a shadow of their former selves in WWE. Seth Rollins has disappointed. Dean Ambrose is a silly loon rather than the brooding mystery he was meant to be. Bray Wyatt’s a babbling shell of a man. Bayley’s getting booed, Sasha’s losing popularity – the list goes on and on and on.
No one is stepping up. Cena’s here to stay until someone can take the keys from him and take care of the house. It’s time to throw the script and the safety pads in the trash. Step up or step aside.
Let’s go.