Let’s assume that everyone the Fashion Police have cleared of suspicion for attacks on their office and persons is actually innocent. That leaves very few options on the SmackDown roster to be the opponents of Tyler Breeze and Fandango this Sunday at Battleground. Very few is more than none, though, so let’s take this one possibility at a time and figure out what we could end up watching at SmackDown’s next pay-per-view.
Looking over the roster to see which tag teams have 1) not been cleared of suspicion and 2) aren’t in the middle of something else gets us nowhere. So, let’s just focus on that second part and not worry so much about active teams. Now, if WWE wants to reunite Luke Harper with Erick Rowan now that Bray Wyatt isn’t around to pit them against each other, that would be a believable possibility. It would turn Harper heel again, though, which could work — especially absent Wyatt’s influence. And Rowan, especially, needs a place to work his game without being the third or fourth guy in a group.
If it’s not those two pairing back up, and everyone Breezango have already investigated are indeed innocent, then we’re entering some really weird territory. Dolph Ziggler isn’t up to anything, and neither is Sin Cara, but it’s as likely they’re responsible and together as it is that Kane and Chris Jericho have decided to stop their non-wrestling ventures so they could go after the Fashion Police. Though, Glenn Jacobs is a libertarian, so maybe he’s upset about the tax dollars being spent to stop fashion crimes.
Who else is left on the roster? What, no one? Man, SmackDown, we’re really scraping the bottom here. Well, if it’s not Harper and Rowan joining forces through their shared love of breaking stuff and maiming toy horses, then it has to be a call-up from NXT. Though, NXT probably has the least depth of any of WWE’s brands at the moment when it comes to the tag division, so any move there is going to thin it further — why do you think Heavy Machinery already got a shot at the Authors of Pain?
If there is a call-up, SAnitY is the team that makes sense. They’re headed for a confrontation with the Authors at TakeOver: Brooklyn III from the looks of things, but there’s little reason they can’t do both.
Plus, Nikki Cross already had her feud with Asuka and lost, so if the entire group is coming up to SmackDown... huh. Maybe it is SAnitY. Process of elimination works!
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- Kyle Decker enjoyed this week’s episode of Impact, which seems to be finding its storytelling footing.
- The Vampiro vs. Taya and John Morrison saga has taken a turn and now involves threats of dog poop.
- WWE and Mattel launched a new line of Superstar fashion dolls, and we’ve got the press release and images here.
- That’s not the only toy WWE announced at San Diego Comic Con, either, as James Ellsworth has himself a figure now, too.
- WWE‘s women keep talking about main eventing WrestleMania (and I am here for it).
- Donovan Dijak is reportedly headed to WWE, and if you don’t know why that’s good news, you should probably search out some Dijak matches once you finish reading this.
- John Cena explained why he’s a free agent, saying his wresting days “are numbered.”
- Melbourne City Wrestling released a mini-documentary on Dakota Kai and her exit for NXT.
- Jim Cornette hates Kenny Omega, but loves attention. While we’re on the subject, Colette Arrand explains why we should all just ignore Cornette.
- Magnus is already done with Global Force Wrestling, and if the rumors of the contract offers they’re handing out are correct, it’s easy to see why.
- Those deals haven’t stopped some interesting new names from being scheduled to appear at GFW shows, though.