Some people think real life is far more interesting, exciting, and dynamic then anything anyone can contrive.
Sometimes real life could use an infusion. Sometimes, real life could use an infusion of sports entertainment. Sometimes we wish life was more like the WWE.
Below are five ways real life should be more like professional wrestling.
Both competitors get over. In big WWE matches (other than Brock Lesnar matches), you seldom see one superstar soundly defeat another superstar. One competitor gets the win while the other can leave with his head held high.
For example, Randy Orton may pin John Cena, but his win was the result of interference or an illegal move. At the very least, Cena was pinned after enduring multiple RKOs, whereas most wrestlers are pinned after one.
Cena may leave the ring with a loss, but he doesn’t leave defeated.
In real life, there are not only winners and losers and there are especially decisive winners and losers. Sound defeats happen all the time and seldom does the loser get over too.
Jobbers. Both competitors getting over happens in big matches, when two superstars clash, like Bray Wyatt versus Dean Ambrose or Roman Reigns versus Rusev.
There are times, usually during RAW, SmackDown and NXT, where a superstar battles a scrub. In the business, this benchwarmer is known as a "jobber."
Jobbers are fodder for other wrestlers to beat up, look good in the process, and get an easy victory.
Braun Strowman used to wrestle a lot of jobbers, sometimes more than one jobber at a time.
You don’t get to compete against "jobbers" very often in real life. Sometimes it would be nice to get an easy victory.
Confidence. There’s one thing professional wrestlers never lack and that’s confidence.
A.J. Styles calls himself phenomenal. Kevin Owens renamed Wrestlemania, "Owens-mania." Charlotte Flair bills herself as a "genetically superior athlete." Enzo Amore is a "certified G and a bona fide stud."
There are some people in the real world with that kind of confidence but they are few and far between. On a good day, most of us are lucky if we can dub ourselves "not half bad."
Big entrances. Professional wrestlers make big entrances. Bill Goldberg comes out through smoke and sparks. Bayley has her Bayley buddies. Kane makes fire come out of the ring posts. Sami Zayn enters to the best entrance music in professional wrestling.
When WWE superstars make their way to the ring, they make sure everyone knows it. Except when The Undertaker just appears in the ring, but that’s cool too.
In real life, I think we all have a theme song. Unfortunately, it doesn’t precede our entrance into a room. It’s usually something we only listen to in the car and shower.
Few of us, ever make an entrance like a professional wrestler, and none of us ever enter a room with pyro and fireworks.
Sadly, most of the time, when we enter a room we don’t want to make a big splash. We want to sneak in and go unnoticed.
You can apparently arrive to work whenever you want. Most of us must arrive at our jobs at a certain time. If we’re late, or don’t show up at all, there will be consequences. In the WWE, it appears you can arrive any time you want.
Often, you’ll hear a wrestler say something like "Triple H won’t be at RAW tonight" or "Sasha Banks isn’t going to be here" only to have that superstar arrive later in the evening, usually in the last segment of the show.
I can see a superstar popping in if RAW and SmackDown were in the same city every week. You know, a wrestler goes out for groceries, and then on the way home decides to stop by RAW for a bit and beat up a rival.
But RAW and SmackDown are in different towns every week. What is that superstar doing in that particular town that’s preventing him or her from arriving to the venue on time?
Are they having problems checking out of their hotel room? Did they get free passes to a movie?
It would be nice to be able to show up to work during the last hour of the day, hit your rival with a chair, and go home.