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Lucha Underground Recap (Jan. 4, 2017): Lagomorphs and Reptiles

@LuchaElRey

Lucha Underground returned last night (Jan. 4) from the Temple of Boyle Heights. You can find all the happenings at the live blog here. Now here’s what we’ve learned from this episode of Lucha.

What Happened:

Mil Muertes is kneeling before his shrine, flabbergasted that Prince Puma is still alive. Catrina appears and tells Mil that it’s because of Vampiro and his dabbling in dark magic. If Mil wants to get to Puma, he’ll have to take care of Vampiro.

Catrina is then walking down the hallway when Jeremiah Crane finds her and tells her he beat the man she loves last last week. Catrina tells him that Mil is not the man she loves.

What We Learned:

  • That Vampiro may have signed his own death warrant. Mil Muertes is going to be gunning for the dark pope and Mil has a pretty damn good track record in Lucha Underground. (We learn this harder later.)

What We’ve Yet to Learn:

  • Who Catrina loves. I don’t think she was talking about Jeremiah there either. I’ve always enjoyed the forbidden love story between Fenix, the force of light, and Catrina, the mistress of death, that has popped up briefly the last two seasons. They even shared a kiss last season. That’s my ship for the LU-verse.

What Happened:

Sexy Star defeats Mariposa via pinfall

After the match, Marty the Moth comes out to check on his sister... but chokeslams her instead!

What We Learned:

  • That Marty really is the worst. The one thing this creepy bastard had going for him is he was loyal to family. Sure, it was a family of kidnappers and torturers but family none-the-less. Now he’s even cut that tie. Mariposa vs. Marty should be an interesting turn though.

What We’ve Yet to Learn:

  • If Mariposa had anything to do with those spiders that had Sexy all in a huff. That was the whole point to this match but I happen to believe Ms. Martinez when she said she didn’t do it. The true culprit will reveal themselves soon.

What Happened:

While Mascarita Sagarda is working out, the White Rabbit Tribe come up to him and bow before him, thinking he is the white rabbit. He tells them he’s not. While they insist, even inviting him to the ring for their match tonight, he tells them they’re loco and leaves.

The Kobra Tribe (with Drago wrestling instead of Kobra) defeats the Rabbit Tribe.

After the match, Fenix and Aerostar run down and clear the reptiles out of the ring, but Drago doesn’t appear to know his buddies are.

What We Learned:

  • That Macarita doesn’t know a good opportunity when presented. These three guys, crazy as they may be, were ready to worship him like a god and he was like “Nah, I’m good.” He could have had one of them constantly ready with some Bagel Bites at all times if he ever had the desire, but no. They were too whacky for him. C’mon, dude. Live a little!
  • That the Kobra tribe did something to Drago. He just doesn’t seem himself. While they walked him to the ring by a chain around his neck (an act he didn’t struggle), he seemed willing to work with his captors. When he was unchained to fight, he didn’t run at first chance. And as Vampiro pointed out after the match, despite standing in the ring with Fenix and Aerostar, he didn’t seem to know who they were. I fear he may end up returning to the Kobra tribe in lieu of his trios partners.
  • The Kobra and Rabbit tribe may not be for everyone. OK, this isn’t a “thing we learned” as it is “thing I learned.” Both of the groups aren’t doing it for me yet. There’s potential in the White Rabbit Tribe, but they’ve had two pretty meaningless matches after months of hype videos. But if they start worshipping my man Mascarita more, I may be down. The Kobra Tribe is still new too and they have more of a story, but it’s not clicking with me. Plus those masks are ridic.

What Happened:

Dario tells Willie Mack backstage that tonights match against Johnny isn’t for the title but the winner will pick the stipulation for the title match.

Despite controlling most of the match, distraction from PJ Black and Jack Evans alongside a low blow from Johnny Mundo costs Mack the match.

After the match, the Worldwide Underground lay into Mack. Then as Black and Evans hold him down, Johnny runs down Mack verbally and tells him their title match will be All Night Long (all night... all night...).

What We Learned:

  • Dario Cueto saved the Mack tonight. I’m just as disappointed as anybody that tonight’s promised title match ended up being non-title. I’m sure many people are. And we don’t even know if the All Night Long title match is next week’s midseason finale or not. But Mack should be happy. If tonight were the title match, he would have lost. Now he knows what he needs to avoid (those asshats Evans and Black) and formulate a new strategy, this one likely allowing Sexy Star to have his back.
  • That Johnny Mundo continues to be a fantastic heel. He cheated to win a match that he was dominated during, using not only his friends but a low blow as well. Then he has the gall to tell Mack, who they had beaten down post match, that Mack doesn’t belong in the same ring as him. He called him a “fat piece of crap” and challenges him to an All Night Long match, presumable because he assumes said “fat piece of crap” can’t keep up with him for an hour. I kind of wanted Mack to beat Mundo for the title before. I really do now. He may not be as great a heel as his former WWE tag team partner, but he’s a damn good one.

What Happened:

As the Worldwide Underground are celebrating, Catrina and Mil Muertes appear on the top of the stairs. They make their way down and the Underground hightail it. But Mil doesn’t get into the ring. Instead he runs at commentary the bowls over Vampiro! He rains down blows on the announcer and tosses him into the ring. Puma runs down to help, but right before receiving the Flatliner, Vampiro instructs his student not to.

What We Learned:

  • That shit is getting wild in this feud! Mil Muertes lost last week due to Puma, which upset him, and he is generally angry that Puma’s not dead from Grave Consequences. That’s right, Mil such a bad man that he gets angry when people don’t stay dead. So learning that it has to do with Vampiro, he just goes after the announcer and lays him out!

What We’ve Yet To Learn:

  • So so much. Like what is Vampiro’s end game here? And why didn’t he let Puma help him? How long is Vampiro going to be gone for? And most importantly, what kind of match will these two finally meet up in again? This feud has been incredible so far and they just keep building on it.

The midseason finale is here next week. It’s unknown how long the break is for and what will be featured on next week’s episode. Hopefully, it’ll be the All Night Long match, but they never uttered the words “next week” when discussing the title match. Either way, we’ll be back here next week with more Lucha Underground!

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