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Lucha Underground Recap (July 13, 2016): Darkness and Light

Lucha Underground was back last night (July 13, 2016) with Ultima Lucha Dos, part Dos (the dos-iest!) Let’s jump into it!

Sexy Star wins the seven person elimination match to win the Gift of the Gods Championship!

Like any seven person match, some people are going to acquit themselves well while others are just going to come up looking poor. Most people had a good showing, but not everyone.

Sinestro de la Muerte was the first eliminated in not too spectacular fashion by the newcomer Night Claw, who despite not winning had himself a show. I think it’s safe to say him eating those hearts really didn’t help SdlM too much. Maybe he should try vegan.

The other disappointment in this match was Daga, who was eliminated next, also by Night Claw. He put up a bit of a fight, but even Kobra Moon watching him the top of Dario’s office didn’t help him. (Is it me or did he seem look up and smile at the fact she was up there? Maybe he’s coming around?) Daga has been impressive in the ring this Temple, but doesn’t have the results to show for it. I wonder how long until Kobra Moon learns he’s kind of a loser.

Even though he didn’t win, Night Claw looked like a friggin’ boss. He eliminated the first two competitors all by his lonesome. Then did he rest on his laurels? Nope, instead he walked up to the top off the Temple, climbed onto Dario’s office, and did a moonsault onto everyone on the floor! I will never not hold my breath and then cheer for a spot off Dario’s roof after I realize the person didn’t injury themselves.

Unfortunately his momentum came to a head when a bit of a mini-match with Killshot ended up with the ex-marine pinning him. Despite losing, the newcomer made a great first impression. His loss didn’t look like it was due to overconfidence so for now, he’s heeded Dario’s warning that El Jefe gave to him when he gave him the medallion.

Killshot also looked like a stud, looking good in his one on one action and delivering some double team offense alongside Sexy Star to the hated siblings Martinez. Unfortunately, he found himself two on one with the moth duo and those are just difficult odds to overcome. It took a curb stomp from Marty, the Butterfly Wings from Mariposa and then both of them covering him to take him out.

Mariposa and Marti the Moth were always going to be a difficult duo. But if anyone could do it, it was Sexy Star, who has the hatred for them both since they kidnapped her at the end of last season. While she put many of her issues to bed with her win over Mariposa in that incredible No Mas match, there’s always a little score to settle. And she did it twice, fending of the siblings. She capitalized on mistiming when Marty accidentally punched his sister in the face, knocking her out. When it was one on one, there didn’t seem to be much of a chance for The Moth, who found himself soon tapping to the arm bar.

Sexy Star has been a staple of the Temple since the beginning and it’s nice to see her holding this title. If Prince Puma is the soul of Lucha Underground, Sexy Star is the heart. She’s a forever good gal who’s the often the light in an often dark Temple.


Mil Muertes defeats King Cuerno in a Death Match

This was kind of a foregone conclusion. Mil Muertes in a Death Match? Those betting lines were probably very lopsided. This Mil’s match and the only reason that Cuerno held up as much as he did is because he’s a great hunter. He’s used to hiding in the brush for days just to slay the prized bear to mount on his wall. Or at least I assume so. He could be buying those busts off of Amazon.

In the end, his own hubris and stupidity cost him the match. He looked to be in the best control of Mil that was in all night when he decided to put his hands on Catrina. This awoke a fire deep inside the Man of a Thousand deaths, who put Cuerno through four tables and then hit a tombstone pile driver in the ring for the win.

That was just foolish of Cuerno. That’d be like him instead of waiting in the brush for the prized bear, he runs out and kicks its cubs and spits on it. Hopefully if he recovers enough to find himself back in the Temple next season, he’s a bit more smarter about his actions.


Sitting at the desk, Matt Striker asks Vampiro about his distancing himself from his student Pentagon Jr. this season. Vampiro then takes his pills, dumps them in his trash, and says he's going to go prepare his student and leaves.

Uh oh. Vampire has decided to go all in for his student next week! I wonder who’s calling part tres of Ultima Lucha dos next week with Vampiro going all Dark Pope.


Mr. Cisco enters Dario’s office wearing the wire. Cisco tells Cueto that he's a loyal soldier and whatever he's got going on, count him in. Dario can tell he's nervous and can tell he's lying. He asks Cisco if he's wearing a wire and makes him unbutton his shirt.

Dario grabs the wire and says into it "If the police want Cueto, come and get me." Joey Ryan and Cortez Castro then lose the feed. Dario asks Cisco if the police want him for murder. Mr. Cisco says he doesn't think so. Dario says they do now and then bludgeons Mr. Cisco to death with a statue of a bull. He then picks up the phone and says "It's time" as the show goes off the air.

OK, so I suppose Dario is a bit more than a d-bag like I thought last week. But in this case, the cops and Mr. Cisco should have known better. Cortez should have known better. He and Mr. Cisco watched Bael die last season. They knew that’s a possibility when you get too close.

And seriously, Dario can sniff out a wire in no time. You can’t put one past him. Sure, Mr. Cisco had zero chill and perhaps just walking into office out of character tipped the boss off, but he was on that quickly. Mr. Cisco never stood a chance. The big question is who is on the other end of the phone? Is it Larenzo Lama?


While a bright spot in the Temple claimed a big prize tonight, darkness prevailed later with the man embodying death destroying King Cuerno and then Dario murdering Mr. Cisco in cold blood. Now there’s only one night left of Lucha Underground in the finale of Ultima Lucha that looks to be really good. See you all next week!

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