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Lucha Underground recap (May 4, 2016): No Más

Sexy Star and Mariposa finally meet up. It isn't likely to end well.

Fade in.

Cueto is in his office checking his crawl space (after Matanza and Mil Muertes went through the roof) when Catrina materializes. Good, he's been waiting for her. They argue over which of their proxies nearly destroyed the other in that apocalyptic match. Catrina says Dario is afraid of Muertes and that he shouldn't dare deny him his rematch. Dario says he wouldn't dream of denying him. The rematch will happen next week ... AND IT WILL BE A GRAVE CONSEQUENCES MATCH. OH DAMN. Catrina accepts. OH DAMMMMNNNNN.

BUT WAIT. Dario says why have one coffin when they can have four? It will be GRAVER CONSEQUENCES. Catrina smiles and says she likes the way he thinks. That finally unnerves him. She says next week there will be no question of who destroyed who. Dario says he's counting on it.


Vampiro welcomes all the homies and homegirls, along with Matt Striker, to the Temple. Striker says that tonight, EVERY MATCH will be for a Gift of the Gods medallion. Texano, Aero Star and They Call Him Cage were the first three of seven recipients of the medallions, if you will recall.


Ancient Aztec Medallion Match: The Mack def. Marty "The Moth Martinez"

Stray Observations: Marty continuing to creep on Melissa during ring introductions is great, as is Melissa getting more forceful in pushing him away. Marty even tosses his damp shirt at her when he finally removes it to expose his UNCOMFORTABLY LOW-RISE BRIEFS. Everything about Marty is incredible, honestly.

This was a predictably good match between the two, if on the short side. Mack gets the win after a Stunner and a TKO Stunner.

What we learned: The Mack is in the Gift of the Gods match! That should pretty definitively put to rest the beef between him and Marty, although there's still the Sexy Star/Mariposa half of the equation to deal with. At least we won't have to wait long on that end.


Catrina corners King Cuerno in the locker room to threaten him, but he says tonight, her disciple is his prey and the hunt is on. Don't worry; he remembers to smell her before he goes. King Cuerno should really talk more, by the way.


In Dario's office, there's a knock on the door. He beckons in Sexy Star and invites her to have a seat. He wants her to know that he respects her and he knows something very bad happened to her. He says he has seen the look in her eyes before, many years ago ... reflected in the mirror. He picks up the bull statue and relays the story of his abusive mother. He says the only way to stop her was for him and his brother to stand up and say "No more." He's giving her that same chance tonight.

That sounds good to Sexy Star. He's making this a No Más match. The only way to win is to make the other say "No más." But he recommends to her that when the match is over, she should not stop until she sees the same look in Mariposa's eyes. Sexy Star says she understands.


Ancient Aztec Medallion Match: Siniestro de la Muerte def. King Cuerno

Stray Observations: This is the first time we've seen Siniestro (who the lower third says is "Sinestro de la Muerte") since he digivolved into his next form after ripping out the hearts of his fellow Disciples of Death. He has a cape now and apparently one fewer "i" in his name. You take every digivolution you can get, I guess.

Catrina interrupts the Arrow From the Depths of Hell with a rock to the side of the damn head. I guess that'll work. Sin(i)estro hits a springboard legdrop and gets the extremely fast win. Catrina gives Cuerno the lick and then bashes him in the head with the rock again for good measure.

What we learned: Welp, so much for King Cuerno getting back in the Gift of the Gods picture. We need SDLM to start showing off some reasons why he's the last Disciple standing, though.


In the gym, Mascarita Sagrada is STILL doing curls. Famous B comes in and says he has a great opportunity for Mascarita: he's found a man who has offered to put his Aztec Medallion on the line against him. So Mascarita should stop stallin' and start ballin'. Mascarita puts on his cape and they walk out bathed in their 70s soft focus.


Someone storms into Dario's office. It's Chavo! He wants to compete for a Medallion, but Dario doesn't think he deserves one. He says Chavo doesn't step up and seize opportunities, so he's done giving them to him. Chavo takes this as a challenge. Dario basically rolls his eyes at this.


Ancient Aztec Medallion Match: Cage def. Mascarita Sagrada

Stray Observations: Famous B does his own bombastic ring introduction for Sagrada, who is accompanied by the beautiful Brenda.

Cage has some bright new black-yellow-and-red gear and he clearly isn't taking Sagrada seriously. He steps into the ring and the crowd starts a PLEASE DON'T KILL HIM chant. Sagrada uses his speed and agility to his advantage and manages to avoid Cage ... until he gets planted with the world's most severe F5 and pinned in like a minute.

Chavo runs into the ring and steals the Aztec Medallion. Cage gives chase as Famous B and Brenda help Sagrada to the back.

What we learned: Famous B's first client isn't looking so hot. And Chavo is taking "seize opportunities" a little too literally. Cage and Chavo will probably be having a match to determine the true owner of the Medallion, even though it's definitely Cage and no jury in the land would side with Chavo here.


No Más Match for an Ancient Aztec Medallion: Sexy Star def. Mariposa

Stray Observations: Mariposa's ring entrance, attire and look are all still very, very cool.

They brawl all over the Temple and wind up on the roof opposite Dario's office. Sexy Star then starts climbing that weird metal guard tower in the upper left hand corner of the Temple. Mariposa follows her up and they wind up on the catwalk, with referee Marty Elias precariously following them. Vampiro goes off headset for a bit out of concern.

Sexy Star starts bleeding while on the catwalk, her blood dripping down onto the fans. Gross! They both climb back down onto the roof of that storage room as Marty appears again, even more damp than before. He menaces Sexy Star and boots her in the gut as Mariposa gloats. Suddenly, THE MACK APPEARS and beats the stuffing out of Marty.

Sexy Star and Mariposa brawl onto the bleachers, but neither will say "no más." Vampiro says he hates to see people go through this, but he loves it with his heart and soul. Mariposa grabs Sexy Star's legs and repeatedly rams her head into the announce table. Sexy Star manages to fight back and hits her with a garbage can.

The fight finally returns to the ring and Mariposa goes for the Butterly Effect, but Sexy Star slips out. Mariposa locks in a submission and Sexy Star screams "FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU, MARIPOSA!" Haha, wow. She escapes and locks in a rear naked choke, but Marty appears again and axe-handles her. He rubs Sexy Star's blood on his face and the Mack returns out of nowhere to hit a huge Stunner. Sexy Star applies a cross armbreaker and Mariposa finally yells, "NO MÁS!"

True to her word, Sexy Star continues the attack after the match, locking on the move again before shitcanning Mariposa. Mack helps her to her feet and presents her with the Aztec Medallion before raising her hand in victory. They celebrate together.

What we learned: Wow, now THAT'S how you blow off a feud. That was a hell of a thing and worth your time to seek out if you missed it.

This week's episode was very heavy on backstage stuff after last week was almost entirely taken up by two matches, but they still managed to give us a classic main event. Well done. Only one more Aztec Medallion to hand out. Hmmm.


Yeah, that's probably enough for one week. Now let's all hunker down and look forward to what next Wednesday will bring. By which I mean GRAVER CONSEQUENCES.

[explosion sounds]

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