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Here are 21 reasons Raw sucked last night

Most people seem to agree that Raw sucked last night, so here's a list of all the terrible things the audience was forced to endure.

  1. McMahon talking segments are generally overblown and unexciting affairs, particularly if Vince McMahon isn't one of the featured family members. But this one was so much worse than normal because it had no direction. New Day tried to help with their entertaining banter, but it was hard to understand why one minute they are worried about splitting up and the next minute they want a dancing contest.
  2. I guess the idea of Shane McMahon shaking his ass can be fun in some contexts, but not as a key moment to open the show. It just emphasized that this entire segment was a giant waste of everyone's time.
  3. Also, opening the show with a dancing segment brought back some really traumatic flashbacks of a 3-hour Raw from a few years ago that began with a Jim Ross dancing segment. In general, most WWE dancing segments turn out to be extremely embarrassing to watch, and it is probably something they should hide away deep down in their bag of tricks.
  4. Nobody cares about the Vaudevillains. WWE, please give us a reason to care about the Vaudevillains.
  5. The commentators had a rough start to the show. Cole said "tag team action, live, next, on Smackdown" right before the commercial break. Then JBL followed this up by talking about a mud glory hole. I am already anticipating the first ever Mud Glory Hole match between Dean Ambrose and Chris Jericho on an upcoming Pay-Per-View extravaganza.
  6. Big Show is back; that can't be good. I was enjoying things just fine without any Ryback, Kane, or Big Show on my television since WrestleMania 32. Though I am at least open to the idea of Big Show as the veteran guy who goes around backstage explaining all the storylines to the key figures involved.
  7. Apollo Crews sucked at delivering this line: "Good, 'cause I didn't want to have to hurt you anyway." I didn't realize he meant it as a joke; I thought he was actually threatening Big Show.
  8. WWE really went to a commercial break with the hook of Golden Truth being on commentary when Raw returns? Is that really supposed to get anybody to keep the channel tuned in to Raw? Huh?
  9. Nobody cares about Usos versus Breezedango. WWE, please give us a reason to care.
  10. The biggest failure on this show was the build for Roman Reigns versus Seth Rollins. This segment significantly decreased my interest in the upcoming match between Rollins and Reigns. Neither guy came off like a star; they both came off as ineffective chumps. What's even more mind-boggling is that this segment got everything wrong that the Cena/Styles segment got right later on in the night.
  11. I think Roman Reigns should not preface his "I'm THE Guy" schtick by telling us that he's told us it before. Wouldn't it be bizarre if Enzo started to say "I've told you before...that Big Cass is 7 feet tall and you can't teach that!"
  12. I guess the Rusev and Titus stuff was fine, but WWE should know by now that "Titus O'Neil, singles wrestler" is a disaster waiting to happen.
  13. Nobody cares about the Shining Stars. I'm not really sure that I want WWE to give me a reason to care about the Shining Stars.
  14. I really wish Big Show would explain to me what this entire meltdown between Stephanie and Charlotte was all about. And why are all the babyfaces in that video package saying Charlotte did the right thing by humiliating her father? Aren't we supposed to think she is super evil or something? Anyway, this crap is probably going to lead to Stephanie becoming the Women's Champion at SummerSlam, and I'm already barfing at the thought. Please just follow Triple H off television for a while longer and give me Sasha instead.
  15. Enzo and Cass talk about cheese. These guys now just run through a list of food like they are 2001 Steve Austin fishing for those "What?" chants with his list of drinks and food. It's the exact same thing. I don't really find it all that interesting this time.
  16. Nobody cares about Enzo and Cass versus Dudleyz. WWE, please give us a reason to care.
  17. Dana Brooke almost injured Nattie on Raw this week, presented by Warcraft.
  18. Dolph Ziggler is certainly not the man of 1004 promos. I'm a Dolph Ziggler fan, but his attempt to callback to Jericho's infamous ARMBAR promo fell totally flat. Dolph should have known that it needed more original substance than what he included in his version. Or maybe he should have just abandoned the idea altogether, if he wasn't going to have proper time to do it justice.
  19. Why doesn't this feud between Ziggler and Corbin ever end? In all fairness, this was probably their best match in the series.
  20. I don't watch the NBA or the NHL or whatever else is usually taking viewers away from WWE. So when they have an advertised Money in the Bank match with one entrant still to be named, I expect that final guy will show up during a Raw main event that features all the other wrestlers in the match. Instead, there was no story development here. Because WWE wants me to watch the NBA playoffs, apparently.
  21. The audience clearly wants to cheer AJ Styles and Seth Rollins; they clearly want to boo John Cena and Roman Reigns. So of course Rollins and Styles are both heels while Reigns and Cena are the permanent good guys. Same old shit.

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